


The Red Shadow

by 93Mika



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Argo, Black Kryptonite, Deja Vu, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Injury, Interrogation, Kaznia, Kidnapping, Kryptonite, Legion of SuperHeroes - Freeform, Major Character Injury, Project Cadmus, Recovered Memories, Rescue Missions, Reunions, Season 4 canon divergence, Temporary Amnesia, necklace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 68,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21942193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/93Mika/pseuds/93Mika
Summary: - The Aftermath of Red Daugther and Kara's Merge.Kara let the gravity pull her down. She was falling headfirst along the skyscraper and for a moment, she simply let go of every thought and emotion. Her eyes were fixated on her own reflection on the building, falling fast as she fell. Eyes cold and void, lips a flat line.She locked eyes with herself. Was this really her own face?She blinked and suddenly, her reflection was wearing a dark suit lined with red streaks instead of the familiar blue and red, and the crest on her chest wasn’t the house of El’s coat of arms anymore.Which one was she?
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Mon-El & Winn Schott Jr.
Comments: 176
Kudos: 157





	1. Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I wish you all a very relaxing holiday :D
> 
> I know I've been MIA for a very long time but it's been a hard few months for me thus writing has been very challenging but I'm feeling a lot less stressed these days and decided that it's finally time to share this story with you as promised. I've been working on it since July and I have progressed substantially so I feel it's ready to be shared now even though it's not very Christmassy.
> 
> This is a canon divergence from Season 4 finale and centers on Kara and the aftermath of Red Daugther and Kara's merge. I have tagged it as Karamel and there will be Karamel, I promise you that, but the major part of the story will be about Kara and all of her relationships, all the ones the show has chosen to ignore and swipe under the rug. I no longer watch the show and barely know about what is happening in Season 5, therefore it doesn't follow canon. 
> 
> In case you aren't aware, I posted another short work about Red Daugther in April, if you are interested, under the name of [Snowbird](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350750) ;)
> 
> As always, special thanks to my Beta, @fandomelove7 for helping me through all the writer's blocks and just being the best friend anyone could ask for <3

* * *

_“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”_

_F.Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

* * *

_“You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me.”_

_F.Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

_The full moon was reaching the zenith, its silver rays pouring weekly over a dead scenery with eerie shapes. And at the center of the deformed rubble – blackened and covered by cold cinder – stood her, hovering mere centimeters above the singed soil, resembling an otherworldly deity. Hands folded into two unbreakable steel fists and salty streaks dried against her cheeks. She vowed every day, not to shed tears, yet the moment she felt free of those scrutinizing unsympathetic male eyes, emotions took the best of her._

_It had been days, nevertheless, an unknown force pulled her back here every night in search of something – someone – she knew well was no more. She spent endless minutes, listening to all the sounds of the needle forest surrounding her. All that she heard was the deafening combination of quick heartbeats of innocent animals – the rabbits huddled together underground, wolves lurking around in search of prey, and even the gentle sigh of the trees exhaling – but never_ **_his_ ** _heartbeat._

_He was really gone, just like her hope. She didn’t dare to listen farther._

_Within mere seconds, she was back at the military base that was the only home she knew. Her boots landed heavier than they usually did due to her unchecked power. She needed to stay focused, to train more, as much as possible. Walking past the night shift soldiers, standing guard, she didn’t give them even as much as a glance as she entered the tunnel that led her down to the site where she used to carve through solid granite walls with her bare hands._

_All that was left for her to do was seeking justice. To make it right again. Even if it meant that she would never feel happy again. She had to save the world from this rotten capitalist system that valued no one but its puppet masters. The modern slavery._

_She was here to end it all. That was her purpose, the reason she existed. She was going to break the chains. To save ‘Mikhail’s. Alex told her so and he was the only one she could trust._

_Her anguished screams were cloaked by the thunderous sound of stones crushing at the impact of her knuckles…_

_  
  
_

“Kara?”

Alex’s voice broke through the haze of her drifting mind. She was standing at the ledge of the DEO rooftop, overseeing the National City with its thousands of blinking lights. It was dark. She had no recollection of how she had ended up there in her Supergirl suit, nor how long it had been there. She couldn’t even remember what she had been doing before this. Had she been at CatCo or doing groceries? It definitely hadn’t been dark yet.

“Alex,” She began in a quiet voice but wasn’t sure what to say. Instead, she walked towards her sister with fidgeting fingers.

The brunette gazed at the Kryptonian in concern. “It’s her memories again, isn’t it?” Alex guessed at the first try. To her credit though, this wasn’t the first time she had found Kara alone in a random place, looking lost and distant. It had started soon after Red Daughter had merged with her.

Kara simply nodded and went to hug Alex who was still in her black DEO uniform. She couldn’t express how grateful she was to have her sister fully back in her life again. The memory wipe had taken a toll on their relationship and they were still seemingly struggling to go back to how things were before. Kara found it hard to open up around Alex like she normally did. Sometimes she wondered if what they did to Alex was even necessary in the first place and changed anything in the end. Did it really worth it, all the pain Kara went through, or for Alex to not feel whole for months? Why must she always suffer loss and loneliness? Even when it wasn’t exactly her owns, but her estranged half’s.

Merging with Red Daughter had had unforeseen repercussions. Every day, Kara was plagued by visions and feelings that didn’t belong to her originally but now were a part of her. Life had found a new meaning and ever since, Kara had been going back and forth to 1114 Cedar Street, Linda Lee’s apartment – now confiscated by the DEO – for no apparent reason other than an ongoing investigation. Upon her request, the agents hadn’t touched or changed anything. There wasn’t much in the rickety flat, however. It was an oversimplified version of her own loft without any colors.

Kara went there often, searching through Red Daughter’s limited belongings over and over. At first, her excuse was to retrieve the items she had stolen from her. Her journal, her red blanket, and her blue mug. It was strange that she hadn’t noticed these things missing from her place. Had she been that distracted?

The only thing she had taken from that place with herself was Red Daughter’s journal. The DEO had asked her to hand it in since it could contain codes or encrypted information that could risk national security, yet she postponed it. She didn’t even know why. She had memorized every page of it, but she wasn’t ready to let it go. It was irrational. Unexplainable.

It wasn’t even the first time Kara had encountered another version of herself. First, it was Bizzaro, who wasn’t exactly her clone, but close enough, and then Overgirl the year before. She had been there when each of them had gone away in different ways, and even she herself wasn’t unfamiliar with going as far as the death’s doorstep on multiple occasions, however, among them all, Red Daughter’s death weighed on her mind like none before. Perhaps it was because she really was a part of Kara’s identity, her consciousness. A part she had been missing without even realizing. All during the past year, she had played it off, thinking it was just the stress from the dual life and missing certain people in her life, but now she understood that it had been really something wrong behind the reason why she hadn’t been feeling like herself.

Kara took solace in reminding herself that in her last moments, Red Daughter had finally seen the truth and she wasn’t really gone. She lived on in Kara, and with their memories blended together, there was now this heavy mixture of indigestible feelings; loss, shame, and regret, that haunted her day after day. 

On the surface of the chaotic jumble of visions in her mind, a face stood out. A little boy called Mikhail.

Kara wasn’t sure why she kept it a secret from Alex. Maybe she felt it was something that was between herself and Red Daughter or maybe she just didn’t know to explain it.

Night after night, she woke up in the middle of the night with cold sweat covering her skin, panting as her chest pulsed with anger and pain. And it only got worse. Once during the day, while walking down a street towards CatCo building, she saw a little boy with dark hair passing by, holding a soccer ball and her heart shattered in grief and her eyes burning. It took all of her not to break down right then in the middle of the sidewalk and managed to get herself to one of the bathroom stalls in CatCo before letting the tears fall. 

There was nothing in Red Daughter’s notes on the boy. Nothing but a picture. Nevertheless, she didn’t need any recounts when she had glimpses of what had happened to him. It was among the first memories she had retrieved.

_“Protect your people like I protected mine…”_

Kara once took an unplanned detour to visit Kaznia without anyone’s knowledge. She shared Red Daughter’s affection for the struggling people living in that land and she hadn’t discussed it with anyone yet, but Red Daughter’s view of America, despite being warped and somewhat extremely exaggerated, had gotten her questioning everything. She now doubted everything. What did she really stand for? This world was too big and complicated, even for a powerful Kryptonian such as herself.

_“You are so limited.”_

_“Your life could mean so much, and yet you fly around in a cheerleader skirt.”_

_“Look out the window and you will see fear, racism, strife…”_

In Red Daughter’s fate, Kara saw how things could go down for her if she became disillusioned by lies, half-truths, and prejudice, or trusting someone implicitly. Watching life leaving her blue eyes and the body going completely limp in her arms, taught Kara a bitter and terrifying lesson. She still had a lot to learn.

Their union, however, had had other side effects beyond those happening on a psychological level. For a few weeks, all her powers remained heightened and overstimulated. Her heat vision glowed purple and it took her breaking many glasses, plates and two keyboards to learn how to control it as the traces of black Kryptonite wore off from her system gradually. 

And that wasn’t all of it. Her speech pattern sometimes changed into that of Red Daughter’s without her realizing it. She was lucky that the few times it happened though, she was around close friends or family. The first time she started speaking in a Russian accent, she was having a sister night with Alex. They were talking about the movie they had just seen – the Great Gatsby, upon Kara’s request – when Alex stared at her in confusion and a bit alarmed.

Thankfully that side effect was among the first to fade away.

It had been almost a month and her speaking and powers were back to normal. Nevertheless, the glimpses of foreign memories continued to remain with her and Kara wondered if she would ever lose them. She had no control over where and when these ‘memory episodes’ would come forth in her mind. She never knew what exactly triggers them. She had tried her hardest to keep them hidden from Alex, but naturally, she had noticed.

“Kara,” Alex called again rather loudly, making Kara jump.

Kara noticed she hadn’t moved an inch from the hug and stepped back. She had done it again. She was so preoccupied and had zoned out. “What?” 

“I asked if you’re okay.”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Kara waved her hand and shrugged.

Alex gave her a knowing look, practically telling Kara to cut the crap. Kara sighed and tried to think of the best way to explain herself, something that was becoming increasingly harder these days. 

“What did you see this time?” Alex asked before she could come up with her own words.

“Just… just the same stuff. Kaznia, soldiers, snow,” Kara trailed off, only telling half of the truth.

Alex seemed unconvinced, rightly so. “You can’t just give me the same answer every time!” She said in frustration.

Kara turned around to avoid Alex’s demanding stare. She gazed at the city lights again. A gust of wind, from being so high up, got caught through her long blond tresses and cape, blowing them to the left. She swapped her hair out of her face and stalled, fidgeting.

“Kara, I’m worried about you. I just want to help you,” She heard Alex saying in a softer tone.

“I know Alex. I know,” She turned to face Alex again. “I just…. I just don’t know what to tell you. It’s all still so confusing to me.” Suddenly she felt her throat closing up from all the grief she had just gone through again. Alex’s eyes shone with compassion and she reached forward as if to touch her hand, but Kara withdrew. “I- I gotta go. I hear an alarm,” Kara lied as she ran towards the ledge again. 

“Kara, wait-” 

She was in the air before Alex could say anything. It was such a lame move but she was out of options. She just wasn’t ready to tell Alex about the lives Red Daughter (or was it herself?) had taken in the name of the right thing. How could she tell her about the cold revenge she carried on her heart over the death of a boy neither of them even knew? Or how everything in her head, good and bad, right and wrong, was upside down.

Kara let the gravity pull her down. She was falling headfirst along the skyscraper and for a moment, she simply let go of every thought and emotion. Her eyes were fixated on her own reflection on the building, falling fast as she fell. Eyes cold and void, lips a flat line.

She locked eyes with herself. Was this really her own face? 

She blinked and suddenly, her reflection was wearing a dark suit lined with red streaks instead of the familiar blue and red, and the crest on her chest wasn’t the house of El’s coat of arms anymore.

Which one was she?

The shock pulled her out of this trance and as though breaking the surface of the water, Kara gulped down air, disoriented for a second. Instantly, she changed the course of her fall entirely and aimed for the clouds instead.

She felt her phone buzzing on the side of her right boot. It had to be Alex. She decided to ignore it.

Sometime later that night – it was hard to tell when exactly – Kara finally made it to her dark gloomy loft. She entered through the bedroom window and almost tripped over the pile of books she kept by the bed. The thick volumes were knocked over with a loud thud.

Kara muttered a curse under her breath as she checked the library books for any damage. Were she human, the impact probably would have bruised her toes, but in her case, it was the other way around.

Her eyes glided tiredly over the titles; _‘The Great Gatsby’,’ Their Eyes Were Watching God’, ‘Sophie's World’, ‘The Fall’, ‘Anna Karenina’._

Thankfully, all the books were fine. With a sigh, she distractedly put them on top of each other again. It was almost midnight and she probably needed to go to bed and get enough sleep since tomorrow was another working day. Something she wasn’t looking forward to any more these days. Not even after her huge breakthrough with her Exposé on Lex Luthor. One could say that she was at the peak of her carrier, even up to be nominated for a freaking Pulitzer, yet inside she didn’t feel even the tiniest bit of satisfaction. Knowing what Red Daughter – and now she - knew of the corruption and manipulation behind the curtains, had changed her view on her own carrier and skills as a reporter. She had been so gullible, thinking that she knew all the facts to be an objective reporter. She felt like a fraud. She didn’t deserve all these compliments and praises. She felt detached from everyone, her closest friends and more than anyone, her own self.

Walking into the dark living room, heading for the kitchen, Kara was jumped out of her skin when a light was switched on only to reveal a very serious looking Alex - clad in a black leather jacket - sitting on the couch. Kara blinked a few times to get rid of the blazing pulse of heat vision behind her eye that had been activated instinctively in response to her sudden fright.

“RAO, ALEX! What if I had killed you!?” Kara yelled at her sister in annoyance.

Alex didn’t acknowledge the outburst. Instead, she leaned forward with a sharp accusing glare. “No, you don’t get to be angry! You’ve been acting like this for a whole month. I tried to give you space and time so you would open up, but enough is enough, Kara! Every time I try to get a little closer, you just fly away! I’m not having it anymore! You will tell me what is going on with you right now!”

Kara dropped her eyes to the lenient flooring of her apartment. She should have known better that it would come to this. Alex wouldn’t just take it. The same thing happened when she had been distant while grieving over Mon-El. She felt guilty for letting it come to this. Ready or not, she had to tell Alex everything.

Once again before Kara could respond, Alex spoke. This time in a much softer tone, “I’m just freaking out Kara. I- I want to help you with whatever that’s happening to you. You can’t expect me to just sit back and watch you struggle. And I’ve been trying so hard to figure it out on my own. You’re not eating even half as usual and- and I mean look at these,” Alex scrambled forward to pick one of the many books spread on the coffee table in front of her. “Nietzsche, Marx, Rousseau, Hegel, and Tolstoy! My God, Kara! What are you trying to solve? Or are you planning to get into a Philosophy school? And, and why suddenly is this Great Gatsby the only movie you’ve been watching for the past 3 weeks!? I mean, I get Decaprio is hot, but I don’t think this is the case here!”

Kara took in a deep breath, lost on where to begin. Alex watched in silence as she flopped on the couch across from her, waiting.

“It… it all started with the nightmares a few days after we stopped Lex,” Kara began. Alex continued to look at her with wide eyes, all ears now. Kara gave it a thought, trying to put together everything strange that had happened since then, some of which Alex had witnessed firsthand, like her sudden accent switches. “And I keep having these déjà vu experiences, memory recalls. They’re mostly about this boy, called Mikhail -” Even saying his name made her heart to throb painfully and her voice cracked. Alex was by her in matter of a second and was hugging her.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m right here, Kara,” She said soothingly and Kara nodded in appreciation, hugging her back as hard as it didn’t harm her.

She tried to suppress the lump in her throat before speaking again, yet the tremble in her voice was still noticeable. “he… he was a small boy living in a cottage… I- I mean she, saved him and his mother from some robbers,” Kara explained, but could not bring herself to admit how she, in fact, had killed those thieves in the process. “But then he…. he was killed after a bomb from Ameritek dropped on their house,” Kara finished out of breath, feeling as shaken as she always felt after recalling the horrible tragedy.

“Oh, Kara, I’m so sorry. That sounds terrible. Why didn’t you tell me sooner about this?“ Alex rubbed the length of Kara’s arm soothingly.

Kara shrugged, shaking her head, “I don’t know… I just can’t really make sense of all these flashes or glimpses I regain. I just know she cared for this boy deeply and now her feelings are mine.”

“She was a part of you, Kara, and I’m not surprised to hear that she was this affected by the death of a child. Your first instinct is always to protect children and defenseless people around you and failing to do so upsets you gravely, even when it’s out your hands.”

For a moment none of them said anything until Alex broke the silence. “And were you thinking of him tonight, on the DEO roof?”

Kara nodded, blinking away the sheen of tears that obscured her vision momentarily. “Yeah…I regained a memory of her, visiting the ruins of Mikhail’s house, but I don’t know why I was suddenly reminded of him. I can’t even remember where I was before it happened,” Kara looked down at her hands. They were dirty and almost black. By what, she had no clue.

“You were rescuing people from fire. The apartment building on Winston Street. Do you not remember?” Alex said, eyeing Kara curiously.

Kara was taken aback by how she had completely blanked out on this. The dirt on her hands was not dirt, but ashes and just then she noticed that her sleeves and skirt also had traces of soot on them. 

It then hit her. The little boy she had saved from a living room engulfed in burning flames. 

He was crouched behind the sofa, terrified and crying hysterically but his brown eyes had lit up at the sight of Supergirl walking through the scorching blaze unharmed, his tears stopping abruptly. At the touch of her icy breath, the fire had died instantly and the boy had jumped to his feet with a joyful cry, calling the heroine’s name, before running to hug her. After briefly checking him for any possible injuries, she had carried him out of the window since the hallways were still burning. Down on the street where a group of shocked people were gathered next to the fire department trucks, stood an anxious mother, her eyes identical to those of her son’s. They shone the same way the boy’s had at the sight of Supergirl landing gently with the boy in her arms.

She had waited just enough to watch them hug tightly shortly before rushing back inside to end the fire once and for all. The building was evacuated and the job was done with no casualties. That was when the memory had trapped her mind. Of how Red Daughter kept going over and over on the possible ways she could have saved Mikhail. It had been all so futile. 

“It’s late, you should get some rest,” Alex told her, interrupting her train of thoughts. The clock above the TV showed that it was almost 1 am. 

Kara was surprised that Alex wasn’t pressing her for more information after her outburst not five minutes ago. She didn’t point that out though, as she sluggishly rose up from the couch and felt more tired than she had felt in a long while. She felt frail, a bit similar to how encountering Kryptonite made her feel. “Please, can you stay with me tonight, Alex?” She asked in a small voice, a little embarrassed but the thought of being alone that night scared her more than usual for some reason.

“Of course, I can,” Alex replied instantly and for the first time in weeks, a genuine smile appeared on Kara’s face. “Come on, let’s get you out of this smoking suit. You smell like a chimney,” Alex remarked teasingly as she pushed Kara towards her bedroom.

Soon Kara was in her bed, finally clean and in her sleeping pajamas. Alex was lying on the other side of the bed, her breathing calming and slow. The presence of another warm body close to her on the bed after such a long time was so assuring. For a fleeting moment, it came to her mind that the last person sleeping on that side of the bed was Mon-El, but she immediately banished the thought and stirred to the opposite side, once more thinking about Red Daughter and Mikhail. Her eyes wandered absently over the numerous books by the bedside.

Was there any chance that the boy had somehow survived?

Knowing that the question could keep her awake the whole night, Kara pushed it out of her head and tossed once more in her place rather uncomfortably, deciding to snuggle into Alex’s side and abandon all thoughts but the proximity of her sister.

* * *

_“It is invariably saddening to look through new eyes at things upon which you have expended your own powers of adjustment.”_

_F.Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. I will try to keep a weekly update schedule.
> 
> This story has taken me through a lot of thoughts and emotions. It has made me think of so many of my own beliefs deeply so it has become something special to me. You'll see as we go, all the things Kara goes through and everything that weighs on her mind.
> 
> P.s: I might have gotten obsessed with The Great Gatsby a little myself and you'll see many quotes from the book with each chapter. I hope you don't mind them. I was trying to get into Red Daughter's character and find her voice in me. I wish the show had shown us more of her before her unfortunate end


	2. Jay

* * *

_ “All the bright precious things fade so fast, and they don't come back.”  _

_ F.Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby _

* * *

Life in the National City was back to normal. At least on the surface. No more anti Alien rallies or angry people going off on each other on the streets and Supergirl’s reputation was gradually resuming its original state. With Lex Luthor’s crimes out in the day – thanks to Kara Danvers’ thorough investigation – everyone blamed him and Red Daughter for the murders. As happy as she was for the restoration of people’s trust in Supergirl, Kara couldn’t stop feeling hurt for how they slammed and shamed Red Daughter. The jokes and memes circulating around were particularly nasty. It was unfair. Red Daughter was just so misguided, lied to, used, manipulated and brainwashed.

Apart from all the blaming and pointless discussions about how to prevent the rise of another Supergirl clone in the media, there were also people who were asking where Red Daughter was now, which only a few in the DEO knew the truth of what had really happened. 

Many assumed her dead and her body taken by the government, while some were more into conspiracy theories and claimed that she was alive and not the only clone of Supergirl the government was covering up. Kara almost cracked up at reading some tweets saying that the US government had an army of Supergirl clones. There was no limit to how far they were taking things. 

It had been a few quiet days. Nothing out of the ordinary in the city and surprisingly, no more Red Daughter memory episodes. Kara was at CatCo, late afternoon, playing with a pen in her hand. It was about time to call it a day at work and fly over to DEO to get Alex so they could their first proper Danvers sisters night. 

Just as Kara had collected her handbag from the desk and was heading for the elevators, her super sensitive hearing picked on a delicate beeping sound which she knew was from Alex’s Signal Watch. Her heart raced instantly, thinking of all the dangers Alex could be in, but instantly, a second beep followed the first one, nullifying the emergency signal and turning it into a warning signal.  _ ‘Don’t come!’ _ was what it meant.

The last time she had heard it was not so long ago when Ben Lockwood had wanted to arrest her. What could be the reason this time? Was it the same? Did the government want to detain her still after everything?

It was beyond frustrating to wait around and not fly over there to find out what was really going on. It wasn’t even possible to eavesdrop since the whole DEO building was proofed against Kryptonian espionage super-abilities. When minutes turned into an hour, Kara was losing her mind. She knew from their previous agreement that Alex would call as soon as the coast was clear and so she waited impatiently in her loft, pacing the floor over and over, biding her time with her phone clutched in her hand.

The sound of footsteps from behind her front door brought Kara’s pacing to a halt. She rushed towards the door, using her super speed, pulling it open before Alex had the chance to even knock. 

“Alex! What is going on?!”

The brunette didn’t reply instantly as she walked past Kara and into the loft with a wary expression. The anticipation was killing Kara. “Are they after Supergirl again? I thought my report cleared things up!” 

“No, that’s not it, Kara,” Alex finally spoke with a shake of her head. The deep frown between her brows though, didn’t make it sound any less worrying. 

“Then what it is?!”

Alex rubbed her forehead, her eyes closed shut as if it were something hard to explain. “You’re not the only one who’s been keeping things to yourself lately,” She gave Kara a faint sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“What?”

“I’ve been trying to put these people off, trying to keep them away from you, but they can’t be stopped by me or any legal ways anymore. They’re too powerful for that.”

“Alex –“

“The CIA and NSA want to question you about Red Daughter. That’s what they say, but I know what they really mean is that they want to interrogate you.”

Kara stared at Alex wide-eyed. “Why would they do that?”

“Can’t you tell?” Alex asked, but after seeing Kara’s blank expression she answered, “They want to know all the details about Kaznia military base, location, plans, weapons. It’s a matter of National Security. Red Daughter was living with the enemy of the United States for about a year and since they know she has merged with you from the DEO reports you filed, they are guessing that you might be sharing her memories and thus withholding information from them is an act of treason!”

Kara’s jaw dropped in disbelief and was unable to form any words in response to what Alex had just told her. “But… I… I don’t know anything really,” Kara finally said. “Her memories are just glimpses, just random vision, and feelings. Apart from Mikhail and a few facts, I don’t really know what she knows.”

“I know, Kara. But they won’t take no for an answer and today, one of the big names had sent an official to get me to call you. I managed to convince him with the excuse that you are somewhere in Florida, helping with the people trapped in the hurricane. I can’t promise that he won’t come back tomorrow. We need to ask J’onn for help –“

“No, Alex. Don’t try to turn this into another situation like the one we’ve literally just come out of! I don’t want to run anymore. Or for you to go to prison for me!”

Alex gaped at her. “Kara, they want to interrogate you!”

“They can’t hurt me and I have nothing to hide from them,” She claimed confidently.

“You know that’s not true! I still don’t know exactly where the weapons that jerk, Lockwood, took from the DEO to hunt you down are! And you yourself aren’t in control of these memories and they might push you too far and find something, then they will never let you go! No, Kara, this is too dangerous! I won’t allow it!”

“Then what is your plan? You can’t just make an excuse every time and J’onn can’t mindwipe every single person working for CIA and NSA!”

“We can pretend Supergirl is off-world and you lay low for a while –“

Kara waved her hand in a dismissing manner. “You can’t ask me to just sit around and hide when people are in danger.”

“Kara,“ Alex pleaded.

“No, Alex,” Kara said with utmost determination she could muster. “I’m done running away.”

“But what if they try to find out your secret identity? You can’t trust them.”

“I’m not trusting anyone. I’m dealing with it. I won’t give them any information about me. Please, trust me on this, Alex.” 

Alex looked at Kara with shocked eyes, her lips ajar as if to argue further, but couldn’t bring herself to say no to Kara. Her shoulders then slumped and her expression morphed into a defeated one. Kara knew Alex so well to see she was mad at herself for not being able to protect Kara even though this was an impossible situation and out of her hands. She was feeling like a failure. 

“This isn’t your fault, Alex. This is my decision,” Kara told her, trying to prevent her from spiraling.

For a moment neither said anything further as they only stared at each other, processing the whole thing. That w as until the sound of Alex’s ringtone broke the silence. “Danvers,” She replied to the call promptly. Watching the serious lines on her face, Kara didn’t need to use her super hearing to realize it was work related.

Alex ended the call shortly and looked up from her phone to Kara. “Something came up just now. I have to go back.”

“Do you need my help? Is it an alien threat?” Kara asked, ready to change into her suit.

Alex seemed hesitant for some reason. “I think we can handle it on our own.”

“What’s it, Alex?”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Well, it’s about the Children of Liberty. We’ve been trying to track down the remaining groups of them that are still active even with Lockwood locked behind bars. They’ve located one of their headquarters.”

Without waiting for Alex to give any confirmation, Kara rushed to wear her suit and was back in the living room, standing in front of the brunette, fully suited.

Alex made a sound in protest, but didn’t argue with her. “Meet you there in 15 minutes,” She said as she walked out of the door.

“But I can fly you there in less than a minute!”

“No, it’s better if we’re not seen together too often. Haley is still around, remember?”

Kara sighed warily and went to sit on a chair to wait 14 minutes before jumping out of her window.

After a last minute briefing session, the DEO SWAT team with Supergirl reached their destination, the house of the prime suspect, far east of National City. The agents discreetly dispatched from the vehicles, each taking position around the property. Kara accompanied Alex with the Alpha team as they approached the entrance. There was a relatively large garden surrounding the main building and a pool in the huge backyard. From the looks of it, the place was owned by someone with a lot of dollars in their account. With Alex’s signal, Kara took to the sky and scanned the whole area quickly.

“No activity within the front yard. Two men near the pool, four targets inside the house.” Kara informed the team through the coms.

The raid happened fast with the DEO swarming the premises and taking every person in sight. Supergirl didn’t have to do much except for overseeing the mission and keeping her senses sharp for any possible danger. A few minutes in, however, some shouting was heard from the far north side of the grounds and Kara didn’t hesitate to help the agents in trouble.

As she flew closer, Kara noticed three agents standing and one fallen among a pack of very angry German Shepherd dogs – The same dogs trained by Children of Liberty to detect alien scent. The men had no choice but shooting at them in self-defense, yet they were outnumbered. Two dogs were biting mercilessly at their arms or legs. Kara added to her speed in order to interfere. She couldn’t bear to see these animals die just because of being trained to obey their evil masters.

The moment her boots hit the ground, every single dog turned their attention to the newly arrived alien, completely forgetting the human invaders. 

There had been very few times Kara had ever feared getting hurt while living on Earth. Being impervious to any physical pain and despite the rational part of her mind telling her that these dogs couldn’t possibly do her any harm, her heart skipped beats in terror at the sight of half a dozen dogs attacking her simultaneously like an army charging at the enemy lines.

The horrific sight just then triggered something deep in Kara’s subconscious. A forceful sensation of déjà vu emerging. A very familiar sensation for her these days.

Her mind drifted against her will…

_ The howling was deafening to her sharp ears, even from her room surrounded by thick cement walls. Unbearable. An animal was in excruciating pain and no one seemed to care to do anything about it. Finally having it enough after trying to ignore the cries uselessly, she pulled her door open, turning to the soldier standing guard by her door.  _

_ “What is wrong with this animal?” She asked in Russian, a frown etched into her brows while trying her hardest to filter out the heart wrenching sounds. _

_ The soldier looked at her in confusion which made her realize then that he most probably couldn’t hear what she did. Unable to stand or ignore the pain, she didn’t wait any longer and marched towards the source of the moans.  _

_ In the far corner of one of the yards, in one of the sheds made for the dogs, laid a female dog on her side alone, with a prominent bulge on her stomach. Instantly it dawned on her that the poor dog was in labor. Wide dark brown eyes met her electric blue ones in distrust. Sympathy for the mother to be in such great agony filled her veins.  _

_ She approached the vulnerable animal with careful steps, asking her permission through their eye contact. She wasn’t sure if she knew this dog. All of them in the military base looked the same in her eyes. All of them of the same breed called German Shepherd. She had never interacted with them, always standing out of their way as they kept growling at her whenever she got too close. _

_ The overprotective mother growled at her with heavy pants, baring her fangs, ears pointed and bent forward as it sensed danger from the alien. She held up her hands, trying to seem none threatening. Another painful contraction hit and the dog howled loudly in pain, eyes closed shut and sharp paws digging into the cold ground beneath. The cruel stupid humans hadn’t even given the poor thing something against the frosty night. _

_ She walked the rest of the way to the hurting animal and unzipped her jacket, draping it gently over her spasming body. The dog tried to bite at her hand, but she retreated her fingers faster and took a few steps back cautiously. _

_ As she sat there motionless for the next few minutes, the dog finally started to relax at her presence and trusted her enough to accept her care. _

_ She tried to comfort her with another warm blanket, food, and water, until the dawn broke and six tiny puppies were born. She cleaned them carefully and put them back close to their almost unconscious mother. She stroked her head, cooing her to wake up and greet her babies. _

_ But she never opened her eyes again. The pain and exhaustion had taken a toll on her. An irreversible toll. _

_ The soldiers had no compassion, nor the tolerance to care for weak orphan puppies. “Survival of the fittest” was the brutal moto they believed in, however, she wasn’t one to accept it. And so she became the substitute mother for the puppies, feeding and fostering them for the next few months until they would be old enough to be trained for service. It was very challenging to learn their needs and keeping her super strength in check while interacting with them. Nonetheless, the effort worth every second of it for her. To watch them grow bigger and stronger was the most incredible feeling. _

_ Within just a month, they would wage their tail, squeal and run up to her as soon as she entered the yard every morning. Some of the soldiers laughed, some shook their heads, but none stopped her from doing what she was doing. She overheard them talking about it, betting on how long she could go without killing the dogs. They all lost their bets. All six puppies survived. _

_ They were her ‘squad’. _

_ Alex especially liked her squad and praised her skills at how well she had managed to train them, yet he didn’t particularly approve of her naming them each after her favorite characters from the various novels he had sent her.  _

_ The dogs grew into powerful adults, entering the service, and things were going very well until that day one of the patrols came back with two criminals in their custody. From their ragged clothes, she guessed they were nothing more than petty thieves, similar to the men who had attacked Mikhail’s house. She would have ignored them if it weren’t for the fact that the soldiers had returned with one dog missing. _

_ Alex was there that day as well, teaching her strategy and politics in the yard. She usually never stopped Alex in the middle of a lesson, but worry for the missing dog overcame her utter respect for Alex. He followed her as she chased the soldiers to the confinement area, enquiring after the fate of a dog she had raised. _

_ “Where is Jay?” She asked. Behind her, she could feel Alex’s disapproving scoff, realizing she had named the dog Jay after ‘Jay Gatsby’ from The Great Gatsby. _

_ The soldier didn’t meet her eyes as he mumbled something about the dog not making it. In the conflict between the soldiers and the armed men, Jay had been shot.  _

_ To say she was devastated was an understatement. Alex blamed her for getting too attached to these simple animals that had no purpose to serve and die for humans. She felt guilty, and angry at the same time. _

_ Alex found her a few hours later, sitting among Jay’s remaining five siblings. “They are letting the men free,” He told her. _

_ “What?” Instantly she rose to her feet. “Why would they set free some murderers?” _

_ “Killing dogs isn’t considered a crime, haven’t you learned by now? Humans value no life besides their owns,” Alex claimed with conviction. _

_ She made it to the front gate just in time to see the men being uncuffed. “Why are you letting these men free?” She asked one of the uniformed men. _

_ “They don’t match the description of the men who stole from the military provisions,” he provided. _

_ She watched the men leave silently in a hurry. She was seething. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Alex. “You can put them to justice,” He suggested nonchalantly. _

_ “What do you mean? I can’t bring them back without orders.” _

_ Alex rolled his eyes like he always did when she was too slow to get his point. “No, I mean, you don’t need others to bring justice. You are above them all.” _

_ Her eyes grew wide upon realizing what Alex was implying. “I can’t kill them for killing Jay! That is not right,” She said in a hushed voice. _

_ “You are missing the big picture as usual. If these men kill dogs in cold blood today, who’s to stop them from killing innocent people tomorrow?” _

_ “We can’t assume that! Everyone deserves a second chance.” _

_ “Are you going to say that to Mikhail’s mother when he ends up killed by them?” _

_ She gaped at Alex, her mind reeling in fear. How could she decide? This was an impossible decision. His words stuck in her mind the whole night, rubbing the sleep off from her eyes. She tossed and turned, eventually giving up. The night shift guard was nowhere to be seen out of her room. It was rather odd, but she didn’t give it a second thought and lurked outside and shot into the sky. _

_ The cold night wind wheezed through her hair as she scanned the grounds for the two men. She found them not that far from the base sleeping behind some bushes, limbs wrapped around themselves against the cold. _

_ She landed soundlessly close to the motionless figures. It would be so easy to end them here and be done with the infinite possibilities Alex had rooted in her mind. They weren’t honest men and they had killed Jay, the beloved pet she had raised and cared for. The image of Jay’s lifeless body, from earlier that day, when she had buried him was so fresh in her mind. His mother had died giving birth to him. He didn’t deserve to die so suddenly by some heartless men.  _

_ The temptation was strong yet another voice in her stopped her from going any further on the cold road to revenge. She was no killer. She was no god. It was wrong. She turned her back and flew back to the base, determined that she had made the right choice. _

_ She was wrong. So very wrong. _

_ Alex burst into her room with deep lines of disappointment grimace on his features, his eyes cold and narrow. _

_ “Come and see what happens when you give criminals a second chance,” He deadpanned in a quiet and emotionless voice.  _

_ She followed him in shock. The two men were back at the base, cuffed and stood against a wall. They had attacked and killed a farmer and his wife that morning to steal food and money. They were caught by the villagers and now were to be executed. _

_ She didn’t want to watch, but in the presence of Alex – after all the warnings he had given her – she remained rooted to the ground, trembling, because this was her lesson. And she promised herself to never repeat her mistake. _

_ She looked away when the soldiers took aim at the blindfolded men. Her eyes landed instead on the young dogs watching the human commotions curiously from beyond the fences. The sound of the shots going off made both the alien and the dogs flinch at the same time. _

__ “Supergirl!”

The voice seemed to be coming from the far end of a tunnel. Kara felt someone shaking her arm. “Alex?” She asked as soon as her eyes came into focus. She was standing somewhere different in the yard when just a moment before she was being under attack by dogs. With a racing heart, she looked around and saw not even a single dog, but instead, DEO agents taking Children of Liberty, handcuffed, into vehicles. She had no memory of how she had come to stand where she was.

“Supergirl, are you okay?” Alex asked with a worried tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kara answered immediately, still searching around for an answer. She only remembered the six German Shepherd dogs Red Daughter so dearly had cared for. She remembered Jay clear as day. He used to be the first at everything. At getting treats, belly rubs, and finishing meals. She remembered him running fast to meet her by the door to the sheds to greet her by pushing his soft front paws to her stomach.

Sadness was all she felt.

“Wh- what happened to the dogs? Where are they?” She was worried that she had harmed them somehow in her blackout. They might have not meant well, but she wouldn’t forgive herself if anything had happened to them, especially after gaining these memories.

Alex regarded her with furrowed burrows. “I wasn’t there but they say you were saying words, not English, to stop them and when they didn’t, you made a sound with your mouth they couldn’t hear but made the dogs run away. They got them back into their cages.” 

Kara sighed in relief. “That’s good…”

Alex glanced around them to make sure no one was close enough to overhear. “I’m assuming you were speaking Russian?” She whispered. “Where did you learn how to make ultrasound dog whistles?”

Kara shook her head. “I don’t know,” She half lied, not wanting to start telling a long dark story just then. She then noticed a little blood on her hands. It wasn’t hers.

“You helped the injured agents back here,” Alex provided after reading her confused gaze correctly. Kara followed where Alex nodded with her head. In the medic van, two agents were being treated for the bite wounds. Kara had carried them here. That’s why she was here. Now the missing pieces of her lapse were coming together.

An agent signaled at them, stating that they were all ready to leave. Kara was so thankful she didn’t have to answer any more questions.

Suddenly the thought of being forced to answer government officials became terrifying for her. Maybe Alex was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you liked this chapter. 
> 
> I might need to explain myself a little here. I honestly don't really know how Dog pregnancies work and I have no idea where this idea even came from, but I just had to listen to my muse and I can only hope that the memory was something meaningful.


	3. The Interview

* * *

_“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.”_

_F.Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

It was another regular bustling day at CatCo with phones ringing nonstop and everyone busy trying to get their jobs done. Despite the normalcy of the office atmosphere, however, the morning hours were particularly slow to tick by that day for Kara who was uselessly trying to focus on a piece of an interview with a twitching foot, tapping constantly against the floor. For some reason, she had an eerie sensation of being watched and had been feeling paranoid since that morning. Her dreams from the previous night were too blurry to remember. Regardless, she somewhat linked the reason behind the strange feelings she got to her dreams. _Her_ memories.

Dropping the red pen she had been holding in frustration and admitting defeat, Kara let the paper fall to the desk with a groan and leaned back in her chair. Closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead in exhaustion, she tried to block out the annoying symphony of loud chatters and ringtones in the building, traffic noises from outside and many other sounds from beyond that were adamant to make holes in her skull. She really needed some peace and quiet for just a day. She thought of the Fortress of Solitude and nodded to herself. Yes, solitude was what she needed the most. This duality within her was effectively wearing her down at the seams. 

In spite of her personal troubles, Kara being the strong headed Kryptonian she was, was glad that James was out of town for a conference this week, and not around to notice her struggles and to probe her like she knew he definitely would. Alex fussing over her was more than enough. 

Besides James at Catco, however, there was her new friend, Nia Nal. National City’s fresh Superhero, Dreamer, whom Kara had been neglecting her mentoring responsibilities towards gravely as of late. Kara had hoped that perhaps she could do even better with Nia than her first attempt at mentoring a Superhero, Mon-El – considering how he had ended up as the leader of a freaking Legion of Superheroes – but in fairness, she had nothing to do with his mindblowing glow up in the future, and the credit for his growth went entirely to himself. He was just amazing like that - Something he himself sadly didn’t see. Kara sighed at the thought of him and his deep stormy eyes as memories flashed through her mind and she let them flow and fade, not daring to hold on any of the moments she cherished most. Thinking about him was very hard. This whole year had been just so off and unusual without him around. She stopped before her thoughts wandered too far to places she was too afraid to go and instead made a mental note to check up on Nia later that day and plan a training schedule, now that she wasn’t public enemy number one anymore.

Thinking of friends, strangely, Lena hadn’t been around much or at all either lately, Kara thought. She couldn’t remember the last time she had received even a text from Lean. She had been so preoccupied that it had slipped her mind to call her. Oh well, it wasn’t like she could talk with Lena about any of her problems either. With Lena, it was only small talks. After breaking up with James, the number of common topics they had to talk about had dwindled even further. She had begun to think about sharing her big secret with her not so long ago, but a few days later, she was still hesitant. It had been so long that telling her now could only sabotage their friendship, considering how emotionally and begrudgingly Lena reacted to Eve’s betrayal. Kara just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She didn’t want all her hopes to get crushed and see that side of Lena. That ‘Luthor’ side. She, kind of, was very over with Luthors, especially seeing how Lex had brainwashed and manipulated Red Daughter. Indirectly she felt hurt by and angry at them all together.

Suddenly having it enough of two coworkers rambling about Game of Thrones’ disappointing ending after one hour for the sixth time that day, Kara called it a lunch break an hour earlier and grabbed her purse to go get something to eat somewhere far and quiet. Maybe the Himalayas was a good choice today.

As Kara stepped outside the skyscraper and joined the crowd to march down the familiar path towards Noonans’, that eerie sensation of being watched returned with much greater intensity. She looked over her shoulder at the strangers behind her, expecting to see someone following her. Closest to her on the right side was a man talking on his phone with a bored expression and on the left was a younger man with Bluetooth headphones, bobbing his head with the quick loud beats. Sensing no threat from them, Kara grew calmer and faced back ahead to resume her track. That was when she saw her and froze in her spot. 

‘ _Linda Lee’_ was standing still among the crowd, a few paces ahead of her with that jet-black fake hair and that dark eyeliner which made her - their - blue eyes shine so starkly. Linda was staring at Kara with a hollow yet meaningful look.

Kara gaped at the sight of her. This was impossible. Linda Lee didn’t exist anymore and yet here she was standing in front of her. Kara wasn’t even aware of the people bumping into her and complaining when her steel, super-strong body almost bruised them.

Before she could do or say anything, Linda blinked ever so slowly, as if time was stretching slow and her body started to stir around. Only then Kara could move a step, a hand reaching forward, words locked her throat. Linda turned her head back to her, holding volumes of untold words within her gaze. Just then, a woman in a hurry crossed the gap between them, blocking the view for a moment. Kara rushed forward and the moment her sight to Linda became clear again, she found the spot deserted. Linda wasn’t there anymore, disappeared into thin air as if she had never even been there. 

Or had she ever been there in the first place?

Her appetite entirely gone now, Kara changed the direction she had been going and decided that she needed some time to compose herself. The National Park a few blocks away felt like a fit idea.

She walked down a quiet winding path under the shadows of whispering and mighty oak trees, her heart still pounding. Was she losing her mind? She felt a desperate urge to check Linda’s apartment again, but what could she find there that the first thirty times before hadn’t offered?

Not so far from her through the tree trunks, Kara noticed some children playing and shouting gleefully across the neatly cut emerald lawn. She watched them to distract herself from her tangled thoughts for a moment.

“OVER HERE,” A girl shouted, following three other kids as they ran towards another boy who was standing guard as a goalie. One of them was trying to keep control of a soccer ball. The girl who had called her teammate was now ahead and in a much better position to score a goal.

The boy kicked the ball to pass it on, but his kick was too powerful and the ball went overhead, falling and rolling on the ground, right towards where Kara was standing. She looked at the ball with wide eyes, completely paralyzed.

The boy looked apological for ruining his team’s chance and jogged to fetch the ball. He came to stop in front of Kara who was now holding the ball without even realizing it.

“Thanks,” He mumbled as he took it from Kara and ran back to resume the game.

Kara walked away quickly, trying to fight the overwhelming feelings that were consuming her. Coming to the park had been a mistake. She should have known better.

Angrily wiping at a stray tear, Kara checked her surroundings for any possible bystanders and strode faster and faster to find a more private location. Kara couldn’t take it any longer and changed into her Supergirl suit and flew up high into the sky, breathing deeply. She took multiple gulps of air above the clouds and tried to control her emotions. What was she going to do about this grief?

Her phone started buzzing in her boot and Kara welcomed the distraction. Seeing Alex’s name on the screen made her crack a smile. She needed to talk to her sister more than anyone at that moment.

“Alex, hi-”

“Kara, the government agents will be here in an hour to _speak_ with Supergirl,” Alex said in a dry voice, emphasizing on the word speak sarcastically.

So much for having a sister talk…

****

Kara found Alex pacing the control room of the DEO very tensely, sporting a deep scowl on her face, reminiscing an angry lioness. The moment she noticed Kara descending the stairs, she stopped her nervous fidgeting and rushed towards her sister. 

“Supergirl,” Alex greeted with a simple nod. She was keeping that all too familiar professional face but Kara could sense the building up anxiety behind her eyes and posture. 

“Director Danvers,” Kara replied, following Alex’s act at being distant at work. She noticed Colonel Haley then walking towards them with quick steps.

“Supergirl, the secret services agents will arrive shortly. We’ve prepared a room for your interview,” Haley stated. Alex’s eye roll didn’t go unnoticed by her at the use of the word ‘Interview’. 

“Thank you, Colonel,” Kara answered politely. 

“Although I must say, they were very persistent to invite you over to DC but Director Danvers managed to persuade them to have the event here in the DEO since it concerns alien affairs and by the law, we are entitled to supervise such procedures,” Haley added with inscrutable eyes yet there was an underlying bemusement in her expression.

“I merely followed the rules, and besides, Supergirl’s base is here in National City. We can’t have her fly around the country for every inconsequential matter. She has more important business,” Alex argued with arms crossed over her chest.

Haley raised a brow, “I never said you didn’t follow the rules, director.”

Kara was getting tired of their back and forth bantering and tried to defuse the situation. “So, do you know how many agents are on their way here?”

“They are two. For legal reasons, we are not to disclose their identity. They will share it if they deem it necessary,” Haley provided. 

From the look Alex was giving her, Kara sensed that she was going to share the information as soon as Haley was out of earshot. Typical Alex, never caring about the law when her family was on the line.

“Come on, let’s show you the room we’ve set up,” Alex said and headed for the left corridor. She led Kara towards one of the doors and opened it with her keycard to display the interior. The only furniture inside was a wide white table and four chairs. One was on the far side where Kara assumed was going to be hers and the other three were taking the opposite side. She wondered why three if only two agents were going to be there.

They had picked one of the big rooms on that floor for the ‘Interview’. The walls had a lighter shade of gray compared to other rooms. Kara couldn’t help but think that Alex had been behind the idea of using this spacious and bright room because she knew Kara so well. Alex knew how claustrophobic Kara could get in small spaces and under pressure. Kara felt her insides twitching from the stress. From what, she didn’t exactly know. The feeling was quite similar to when she had her first job interview at CatCo, how worried she had been to impress Cat Grant, no less. She tried to psyche herself up by reminding herself that she had gotten through THAT, thus there was no way this could go wrong. Kara kept telling herself so.

Alex turned to Kara, letting her emotionless mask fade away. “Kara, listen, I tried to choose the conference room or one of the rooms with windows, but it was denied due to security reasons so…”

“Thank you so much, Alex. For everything,” Kara wanted to hug Alex so badly but wasn’t sure if there were any cameras in the room.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, okay? I’ve talked to them, so I will be right here in this room with you.” 

The reason behind the third chair then became clear to Kara. She would have lied if she were to say that this didn’t give her immense assurance. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” She said with a small smile, to which Alex returned with her own tight one.

Just then Alex received a message on her coms. One Kara heard clearly. “They’re here, Director.” Alex’s frown settled back once more along with her unreadable mask. She looked up at Kara and nodded. The two women silently walked shoulder to shoulder back to the control room to greet the newcomers.

Two middle-aged white men dressed in dark suits and ties stepped onto the floor as soon as the elevator doors opened. Two soldiers accompanied them, their faces were emotionless and giving off a very unapproachable vibe.

“Director,” The one on the left said flatly with a nod and outstretched hand. 

Alex shook his hand and replied curtly, “Welcome to the DEO, Sir.”

The man then turned to Kara, “Supergirl, we are grateful you could spare some of your valuable time for the interview.” 

Kara shook his hand as well with a short nod and a polite smile, “Of course. Always glad to help with the safety of people.” 

The taller man on the right side didn’t speak a word and was eyeing Kara suspiciously the entire time with his cold blue eyes. Instantly Kara sensed a bad energy flow from him and his heavy unkind stare.

They all started walking towards the room while Alex and the first agent discussed some casual security matters. The interview was not to be taped, only voices were to be recorded with their own approved device. 

Kara entered the room again and breathed in heavily. She turned to look at the others, standing taller. The friendlier agent motioned for Kara formally to take the seat on the lonely side. He asked kindly if she needed something to drink and she declined politely. The other broody agent, on the other hand, sat on one of the empty three chairs without any comments, still regarding Kara in distrust. 

The soldiers entered the room as well and started setting up their own recording equipment. The soldiers then exited to stand guard at the door. As Alex was about to take the only empty seat, the silent agent finally spoke up for the first time, “No director Danvers. The terms have changed. You can’t be here during the interview.”

Alex stiffened and frowned at both men, “What? We had an agreement!”

“Yes, but we never promised anything.” 

Alex glanced at Kara who was watching them with raised brows and back to the men. “I am the director of DEO. I have the clearance –“

“Yes, but you are too close to Supergirl, given your history. We don’t want that to conflict with our interview,” He stated without leaving any room for negotiations.

Kara shook her head at Alex, sensing her anger seconds away detonating. They couldn’t afford to be impulsive with high ranking agents. Alex pursed her lips tightly together, so firmly that they turned pale, barely keeping her rage at bay. “As the director of DEO, I am to supervise this situation!” She argued with facts once more.

The more mild-mannered agent interfered this time, “Of course, director. You will be able to listen to our interview through this earpiece,” He picked up a small black gadget and handed it to Alex. “It’s approved by our technicians against espionage.”

Alex took the earpiece begrudgingly, turning to look at Kara who was fully aware of the concern shining in the brunette’s eyes. With a nod, Kara tried to convey the message that she was going to be fine without her there. Alex nodded in return, albeit reluctantly and left the room with rigid steps.

As one of the soldiers was closing the door behind Alex, she turned to take one last look at Kara. Their eyes met and then the door closed shut, breaking their connection and clicking into an automated lock.

Kara sat straighter and gave all her attention to the men in front of her. She worked out the situation quite easily. This was evidently going to be a cliché, good cop - bad cop interrogation. She was ready. As ready as she could ever be, anyway.

The first few questions were all formal and easy. An oath to say nothing but the truth, a recite of some constitutional and legal paragraphs to inform her of the laws and her obligations towards the United States. It felt as though she was about to give testimony in court. 

Soon the real round of questions began. The grumpy agent was silent once again, leaving his more open colleague to handle the introduction part.

“Please give us a detailed recount of your last interaction with the Kaznian asset known as the Red Daughter.”

Kara proceeded to tell them everything that had occurred that day. Her fight with Lex Luthor and then being saved from his Kryptonite blast by Red Daughter. She purposefully emphasized on how Red Daughter had become aware of Lex’s betrayal and her own wrongdoing and sacrificed for his evil plans but wasn’t hopeful that it could count for anything. She then tried her best to explain how Red Daughter had merged with her.

Unsurprisingly, the description caused quite a few follow up questions, specifically by the grumpy agent. “Are you claiming that you have assumed Red Daughter’s awareness?”

“No, that is not what happened,” She answered, knowing where he was going with his question.

“How has this merge affected you physically and psychologically?”

Kara replied as honestly as she could without giving him more ammo to accuse her with them. She decidedly avoided telling them anything about the memories just yet. The agent was clearly unconvinced by her answer. 

“How was this clone created?” He asked, digging far deeper into the roots.

Kara explained about black Kryptonite. She wished she didn’t have to give them any information about it but Lena, unfortunately, had already made its existence known to the government. There was no point in feigning ignorance about it. 

Some of the questions were then directed at her extent of knowledge of Lena’s experiments and if she were involved in her secret project, to which Kara truthfully denied any participation or awareness. Things had become very complicated thanks to how black Kryptonite had caused so many troubles. If only Lena hadn’t worked behind her back and misused her trust.

“Do you deny or confirm having any recollection of the clone’s memory?” The friendly agent asked and Kara froze momentarily. 

A wrong move. 

“You have denied having any psychological side-effects in the aftermath of the merging, but does that exclude having any sort of access to your clone’s consciousness?” he asked further to clarify.

“No, I don’t suffer from any sort of psychological side-effects or anything like that! The clone’s consciousness died along with her,” Kara said rather vehemently. Her heart was pounding and she wondered what Alex was thinking of her answer – or her lie to be more accurate. Had her consciousness really died though? Kara’s mind drifted instantly to the projection of Linda Lee appearing in front of her not even two hours ago. Her dead face and burning eyes. She had wanted to tell Kara something. She had no doubts. But what?

“Supergirl.”

Kara snapped her head towards the call. She had zoned out. Again. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked if there is something you would like to share?” the friendlier man asked and Kara shook his head.

The grumpy agent then huffed and Kara frowned at him. He wore a rejecting expression with arms folded over his chest and a look a total skepticism written on his face. “How are we to trust, you aren’t the clone herself and Supergirl isn’t dead instead?”

The question caught Kara so off guard that she couldn’t immediately think of an answer. She couldn’t believe how he could even think that. “I am Supergirl! I’m myself,” She said, feeling absurd how unconvincing it sounder to anyone, even to herself.

“Then prove it,” The bold agent asked in a raised voice. He leaned forward as if to challenge her. “Tell us who you really are,” He was asking her to reveal her secret identity. 

“You know I can’t do that, Sir. Everyone I know will be at risk if I do that!”

“Then how do you expect us to trust anything you say when you don’t extend the same curtsey to us?” he retorted.

Kara glanced at the other man in the room who was watching them quietly. “How can you say that after everything I’ve done for this country?” Kara almost shouted, getting agitated by the unfairness.

The sullen agent laughed humorlessly, “Oh yes! We should be thanking you for all your services at destroying our cities, leaving behind rubble day after day for us to clean up after your messes! Not to mention how none of these invasions would have even happened in the first place if you hadn’t been here! You have brought nothing but destruction with yourself to Earth and expect us to be grateful for it,” He slammed his palms against the table.

Kara was almost red with fury. She could even feel her heat vision roaring to be released just behind her eyes. She fisted her hands under the table, willing herself not to lose control and for her voice to stay flat. “I never asked for gratitude or any benefits from you! I save people because that is the right thing to do and I have the power to make a change! I stand for help, hope, and compassion! I would never hurt people intentionally!”

“Never hurt people intentionally?” He huffed. “You can save those pretty words for the cameras Supergirl. We aren’t them. We don’t buy those here. Don’t act so innocent or do you think we’ve all forgotten the Red Kryptonite incident?”

Kara gaped at the man, unable to deny.

“You can’t claim to have saved anyone when you are the one who’ve put them in danger,” He added victoriously as he leaned back and closed the button of his coat as if he was done with her. An ugly sneer was plastered on his face.

_You can’t save anyone…_

  
Kara felt the familiar rush hitting her mind out of nowhere again. _No, no, no… not now! Please!_ She begged herself but her mind was already drifting back into that dark place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. I'm aware of the many complaints that are often voiced about the 'Super's regarding the destruction they leave behind and who is responsible for fixing the cracks on the asphalt when they land a little heavier than usual to look cool? You know, the usual stuff we sometimes wonder about or question. Those arguments came in handy when I wrote this chapter.
> 
> And about Lena... I don't have much to say, other than I am very done with her character and I see it as my responsibility to warn you that this story will not be in her favor either, so don't expect to see me speak for her side. You'll see.
> 
> P.s: I almost forgot to post this week because of how crazy it's been after the holidays. Between my Master Thesis, work and apocalypse it's really hard to keep focused on anything TBH. I'm not doing that great these days if I'm being honest. It's like a dark cloud following me everywhere I go but I have no option other than keep pushing forward.


	4. No Time to Lose

* * *

_“I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

_Being a waitress at an American Night Club was much harder than she had expected. Not physically, rather mentally very draining. She had to serve and clean after these rich American Arm Dealers who cared about nothing and no one but themselves. Living in a bubble of entitlement where they thought their money gave them the right to do just about anything while being shielded from the consequences of their actions. Just a bunch of narcissistic humans with a god complex. That was what they were in her eyes._

_‘Alex’ had asked her to take the job there to learn more about the United States and in a way, it helped her to fit in. The job also helped with her rent and other expenses. She wasn’t going to take advantage of Alex’s wealth. She wanted to earn the money for her needs to the last penny, in the good honest way, unlike these people who were simply born into it, never once having to think of taking responsibility for it. She wasn’t going to join that mass. She resented the very idea. People in Kaznia - like Mikhail’s mother - worked day and night to provide for their families while these people grew richer every day by taking advantage of igniting wars and selling their weapons to the opposite parties. Ameritek…. Those snakes were responsible for Mikhail’s death._

_“_ _Oh my God, Linda! Did you cut yourself!?” A female voice asked in fear and she looked down at the glinting shards of champagne flute in her hand. She had unwantedly broken it in her steel grip, once more. Sometimes keeping her temper in check ended at the cost of these delicate items. She hated those Ameritek men. Those ‘Merchants of Death and War’._

_“I’m alright, Sidney. Don’t worry,” She replied her colleague in a perfect American accent as she discarded the useless remnant of the glass into a bin behind the counter._

_It was almost midnight yet the club was buzzing. It was the first time she was doing a long night shift to cover for another girl who had come down with the flu. She usually spent the night time to study on her misguided sister, Supergirl and her Alex. She practiced her mimics to be ready when ‘Alex’ called her for action. Therefore, it was the first time she was witnessing the nightlife of the club and she was in for a big surprise._

_She thought that she had seen it all. All the darkness of this world._

_But she was so wrong and so very oblivious._

_As the hours grew later - or rather earlier - many customers left and only a handful of regulars remained behind. Obviously, the club had more entertainment to offer even at these hours._ _She walked around, collecting the abandoned glasses or dishes among decks of cards, some barely even touched. Such a waste, she thought to herself. Did they even care?_

_The few regulars dismissed themselves eventually to some other private rooms and that was the cue for the few remaining staff to finally call it a day. She finished stacking the dirty glasses onto a cart. Sidney, the only other girl still working beside her, was busy putting back the liquor bottles in order on the shelves. They were almost finished. She just had to take the cart into the kitchen so the staff could clean them in the morning._

_That was when she heard the sound of crying from the hallway behind the kitchen’s back door. It was a quiet muffled whimpering as if the person didn’t wish to be heard, but it couldn’t go unnoticed by her sharp alien hearing. She looked around, using her enhanced vision to see through the walls. A young woman was couching, hugging her legs in a prone position and shaking against her sobs._

_She stepped into the hallway, worried that the woman might be hurt. It was dark, but through a brief x-ray scan with her eyes, she found no broken bones._

_“Hello?” She asked softly, not sure what to say._

_The girl’s head snapped upwards, her bloodshot eyes meeting hers. They were brown and wide with panic._

_“Are you alright? What happened?” She asked, taking a step towards her._

_It seemed to have been the wrong move because the girl jumped to her feet rather unsteadily and staggered backward. Only then she noticed the big rip in her dress. The strap over one of her shoulders was completely torn, giving her a very exposed appearance. She gasped at the sight of ugly bruises over her arms and neck._

_She was gone, lost into the dark chasm of the winding hallway before she could do or say anything…_

  
  
  


“… IS UNACCEPTABLE,” Someone - a woman - was yelling at the top of her lungs. She couldn’t recognize the voice yet. Her mind was caught between two sets of identities.

“Supergirl!”

Her vision fluttered in and out of focus. Nothing made sense.

“SUPERGIRL,” The same voice insisted.

Where was she?

“Can you hear me?”

“Are you alright?”

Who was she?

The room came into clear again. Five people were staring at her. Two men seated across from her and two soldiers holding a brunette woman back. Her eyes skipped over to the wide open door before coming back to connect with the infuriated woman with flaring hazel eyes.

“A…Alex,” She stuttered, barely a whisper. She was short of breath and had no idea why. Everything was oppressing and suffocating. She needed to get out now.

It all came back to her. The interview. The accusations. She rose to her feet unannounced, startling everyone. 

“Excuse me,” She muttered as she slipped past the frozen soldiers and out into the cool corridor. Her head was throbbing under the strain of intense emotions that were threatening to erupt at any moment. She didn’t care about anything else.

Even three hundred meters above the surface didn’t seem to have enough air for her. Her body was carrying her towards a destination she wasn’t consciously aware of.

Kara crashed into Linda Lee’s apartment through the window, shattering the frame and glass as her vision started flickering.

_She stumbled inside, hands shaking so hard that the keychain slipped through her fingers, clattering annoyingly loud against the cold flooring. Her entire body was trembling. Tears pricking at the corner of her eyes._

Kara covered her mouth to prevent the heartbroken sob that escaped her throat. Her legs felt so weak that she wobbled and dropped to her knees.

_She fell to her knees, hugging herself, nails digging into herself as sobs wracked her torso violently. The dark fake hair was thrown across the room with a pained cry._

Kara covered her face with both hands as she wept, her body sliding forward until her forehead touched the dusty flooring.

_She whimpered against the faded floor, feeling utterly worthless. She couldn’t save anyone. She couldn’t keep Mikhail safe. She couldn’t protect anyone._

_It was all a lie…_

_She was no one…_

_Nothing…._

***

“Kara?! God, there you are!”

Kara looked up sluggishly, her eyes hurting from all the crying. Alex, wearing normal clothes, was rushing towards where she was sitting on the couch. She was still in Linda’s apartment. The sun was slowly setting outside, making the room very dim. Shadows were long and creepy, covering her face with the stains of tears and her hands that were mindlessly fidgeting with a loose thread of the obviously second-handed cushion.

“Kara! Are you okay?” Alex asked, kneeling in front of her to be in the field of her unresponsive view. Her hands gripped at her knees.

“No,” Kara finally admitted hoarsely. Her voice seemed to have been all but gone.

“I looked everywhere for you,” Alex exclaimed, looking very exasperated. “Brainy started running a statistical probability algorithm to find you, but I just had a feeling you could be here,” She sighed and moved to sit on the couch beside Kara. She tried to get a hold of her fidgeting hand and Kara let her. Alex’s touch felt much warmer against hers.

“Kara, what happened? What did you see?” Alex asked quietly. She didn’t seem mad like the last time she had confronted her in her loft.

“What happened at the DEO? To the agents?” Kara asked instead, not feeling up for going through that memory again today.

Even in the dark, Kara could see the flash of anger across Alex’s face. “Oh, those jerks seem to want a second follow up interview but I think it won’t happen anytime soon.”

“What did you tell them?”

“Just that they crossed some lines.”

“Do they know I was lying? I think my blackout kinda gave it away.”

Alex shook her head, “No, I don’t think they suspected anything. You didn’t really blackout that long there. I made a scene so they were pretty distracted by me yelling.”

That cracked Kara up a little. “I missed it.”

Alex smirked, “Nah, it wasn’t anything you haven’t seen before,” She rolled her eyes at herself and then got to her feet, gently tugging on Kara’s arm. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Kara noticed the sun had set and they were literally in the dark. She nodded and let Alex pull her up. They spent the short walk to her apartment in silence. Alex didn’t seem keen on finding out why she had spent five hours alone in Red Daughter’s apartment, which was a relief.

The two sisters ordered Chinese and spent the rest of the night catching up on some of the shows they hadn’t seen for a while. When it was getting late and Alex’s eyes were drooping, Kara figured it was time for bed. She turned off the TV and that seemed to bring Alex back to the waking world.

“Oh, did it finish already?” She looked a bit lost.

“Yeah, no. You were drooling,” Kara teased and got a slap on her shoulder.

“I don’t drool,” Alex denied and scrambled to pick her jacket and keys.

“Hey, you can stay here tonight, if you like,” Kara suggested. She wouldn’t mind if Alex stayed over again.

Alex regarded her for a second. They hadn’t talked about what had happened the whole night. “I would, but I need some clothes for tomorrow since we have a field day with the new recruits and it would take me longer to get to DEO from here in the morning rush.”

“Oh, okay.”

“But if you need me to stay –“

“No, that’s fine. You don’t have to.”

“Kara-“

“It’s not a big deal. I’m okay.”

“Kara,” Alex held her shoulders tightly. “You’re clearly not ok. I’m worried. Please talk to me.”

Kara nodded, feeling a knot forming in her throat again. She dropped her gaze, preferring to look at her socked feet and twitching toes instead. “Ehm, Alex,” Alex didn’t interrupt and waited for her to complete her sentence. “I… I think we should do something about this…me…because,” Kara finally raised her head, staring Alex in the eyes. “Red Daughter is still alive and she needs my help.”

  
  


***

“So, you're saying that Red Daughter speaks to you… in your head?!” Alex asked from where she was standing in the middle of J’onn’s PI office, her right hand scratching her head as a sign of her confusion if the total puzzlement on her face wasn’t enough indicator.

Kara sighed from where she was sat on one of the client sofas in front of the big desk, her eyes moving from Brainy’s calm features to J’onn’s worried yet stoic face. “No, I never said that. She doesn’t exactly communicate with me. It’s more like a feeling… a… a sensation of her presence in me,” She said and thought, ‘or out of me’, remembering Linda appearing to her that one time among the crowd. “She still feels things. I can sense that.”

Alex looked even more confused if that were possible. Brainy, on the other hand, seemed completely casual about the topic. His left hand fingers were touching their counterparts on the right hand, his familiar sign of his concentration. He then spoke for the first time since greeting them when he had arrived, “Have you had any sort of out of body experiences?”

It was Kara’s time to look lost. “What do you mean?”

“Have you ever lost control over your body, as if someone else has taken over? Or perhaps loss of time or short term memory.”

Kara was about to say no, but then remembered her blackouts. Her repeating relapses when she relived the strange memories and often finding herself in a different place. “Actually yes, I have these episodes,” She shortly shared a look with Alex before adding, “I get flashes of Red Daughter’s memories and when I come around, I can’t remember exactly what has happened.”

J’onn was now frowning. His right hand was balled right under his chin as he looked at Kara in concern, “I wish there was a way for me to read a Kryptonian’s mind,” He said, shaking his head at himself.

Kara went over to him and touched his shoulder in reassurance. “That’s alright, I’m sure we can find another way to do that.”

“Yes, yes. In fact, I am making simulations of many possible ways to interpret your brainwaves with the crude twenty-first century technology,” Brainy answered with narrowed eyes. “It would have been much easier had I access to the Legion’s ship, nevertheless, we’ll have to make do with what we have in the DEO.”

“No, we can’t take this to the DEO. It’d be too suspicious with Haley around. I still don’t trust her,” Alex said, shaking her head.

Kara and others nodded at Alex and silence fell over the office as they all thought of their possible options.

“Okay, but I still don’t get what you meant last night by saying that Red Daughter needs our help,” Alex said out loud next.

“She’s in pain Alex. I feel it,” A shudder ran down Kara’s spine as she replied.

“What kind of pain? You mean like guilt? Because I wouldn’t be surprised after all the people she’s -” Alex cut herself mid-sentence when she noticed the hurt appearing across Kara’s pale face. She seemed to want to apologize immediately, but a soft beeping sound from her wristwatch stopped her from doing so. “Oh, shit we have to be at the DEO in ten minutes,” Alex exclaimed as she was reaching for her jacket and bike helmet, which were on the couch where she had left them. She then nodded at Brainy to get a move on and he obliged wordlessly in his unique calm and calculated manner.

Alex rushed to the exit after Brainy but stopped abruptly in the doorway and returned to Kara who had been standing motionless and rather astonished. Alex gave her an apologetic look before engulfing her in a tight hug. “Kara, I’m sorry I have to leave now, but I promise we’ll figure this out. We always do.”

Kara hugged her back, letting out a sigh. “It’s ok, Alex. Stay safe,” She said quietly. Alex then nodded with a brief goodbye and had to hurry out to make it to work on time.

Kara watched her leave and then noticed J’onn’s heavy gaze on herself. She waited for him to ask the question that was clearly on his mind, but the considerate father figure he was, he didn’t speak it just then. He instead offered Kara a cup of coffee before she had to leave as well for work. She accepted readily.

Kara was grateful for the relaxing silence that followed next as they sipped on their hot drinks and she looked around the room, her eyes wandering over the many books stacked neatly into the numerous wooden shelves. J’onn had such a vast and enriched library and considering the fact that he had spent the past three centuries on Earth, it came to her as no surprise. He had literature in his collection dating back to the time the very first books were published by Gutenberg himself in Germany. Books that belonged to a museum and could worth millions of dollars. Kara had even once found a first edition of The Hobbit signed by J.R.R Tolkien himself, in J’onn’s collection - Winn would have died with excitement if he knew this, Kara had no doubts. These books were J’onn’s priceless treasure.

This office had become a familiar safe place to Kara after all the time she had spent there with J’onn following Alex’s mindwipe. Missing Alex from her life had caused Kara to grow closer than ever to the old Martian. He had been nothing but supportive and understanding, yet he could never fill the role Alex had in her life. Either way, Kara was glad to know J’onn a little better than just during work or dealing with the crisis of the week. They had solved some of his cases together and it had been so much different than how they used to work at the DEO with him being her boss. He had been there for Kara when no one else was around, even though he had been going through some personal issues regarding his final oath to his deceased father.

“So how are things with you and Alex?” J’onn asked, drawing Kara out of her thoughts.

Kara took a long sip from her coffee just to buy herself a few more seconds in order to gather her thoughts to answer the question she knew he had been meaning to ask her all this time.

“It’s been fine. Better than before,” She put simply but the look on J’onn’s face told her that he expected a more detailed explanation. Thus, she continued, “Well I mean it hasn’t been that easy. I haven’t been as open and made it harder for her and now she feels like a failure again because of me. I keep doing this to her, I let her down,” Kara trailed off, shaking her head at herself.

“That’s not true, Kara. She cares for you so much,” J’onn said, trying to change her view. “She came to talk to me about you a few times. I know how she feels, Kara. She doesn’t blame you.”

Kara nodded as she looked into her half-empty cup. “I know, but I only made things worse by keeping things to myself. I wanted to deal with it myself but I made her worry like I always do. It’s like the only thing I ever do. Keep Alex away from having a life of her own and free from me.”

“We’ve talked about this, Kara. You saw how things went wrong when she didn’t have all her memories of you. She wasn’t herself. She was incomplete.”

“And why did this happen to her in the first place, J’onn? Because of me! Every decision she has made in her life had been for my benefit and everything that happens to her is somehow always my fault,” Kara’s voice trembled with emotion, close to shattering at the seams.

J’onn looked sad. “Kara –“

“I’m the one who keeps her back in life, J’onn. She could’ve had a normal life, free of me, if it weren’t for Clark leaving me with the Danvers,” She almost shouted, putting down her cup on its saucer with a loud cling, not so gently. She had lost her appetite. “Jeremiah would’ve been still around if it weren’t for me,” She added in a quiet voice as a single tear streaked down her cheek. 

J’onn put his hand on top he shaking one that was still clutching at the white cup, squeezing, “Kara, you were just a child when that happened. You aren’t to be blamed for what happened to Jeremiah and you know how much Alex and Eliza love you. Neither of them has any regrets for the decisions they have made. They love you, trust me I can read minds.”

Kara nodded again with a tight throat, staring at her distorted brown reflection in the cup. No matter what anyone told her, no matter how much time passed, she still couldn’t stop thinking this way every once in a while. She couldn’t help the ‘what if-s’ that went through her mind whenever she was at her lowest. The different possibilities of how life could have looked like for Alex and her family without her in the picture.

“But why?” She mumbled.

“Why what?” J’onn asked.

“Why would she sacrifice everything for me when she knows…” Kara abandoned her sentence, unable to speak the words she had kept to herself for a very long time. For as long as she had first come to learn about yet another gift which her Kryptonian genes had bestowed on her. Something Clark had told her when she was still in high school and never spoke about it ever again since it didn’t hold any importance at the time. Something she assumed Alex must be well aware of, being the only expert on her Physiology besides her mother.

“What she knows?” J’onn inquired, lost as to what Kara was trying to say.

Kara looked up at J’onn. He was the only one she could talk about this with besides Kal. This was something only he would understand and most definitely had some experience with.

“Knows that I will outlive her,” Kara finally said those unsaid words, barely above a whisper with a sense of forebode. As if not talking about them had kept the fact from being true all this time.

She saw instantly the shadow that her words cast across J’onn’s features. His eyes seeing past just her face and going far to who knew where. It was, however, gone moments later and his gaze fixated back onto Kara with more affection and understanding.

“Kara, you shouldn’t look at it that way. You should focus on the present and this time you have with Alex and the memories you create. You can’t spend your life fearing the future or you will lose what you have now. Yes, there is no denying the inevitability of death, but you can’t predict what happens next either. We don’t live to die, Kara, and Alex isn’t going to stop caring about you just because she may not be always there with you. She does it because she loves you. Would you stop loving Alex knowing she may not be around one day?”

Kara shook her head, staring at J’onn intently and absorbing every word of wisdom he spoke to her. Tears were now rolling down her cheeks freely. J’onn smiled at her in with a sorrowful expression and reached for the box of tissues sitting on his desk, offering it to Kara. She took one quietly and dabbed her face dry. 

J’onn gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze then and Kara couldn’t help but leaning forward to hug J’onn. “Thank you, J’onn,” She said in a tight voice. He hummed and held her in his arms for a moment until she was calm again.

Soon she had to leave or she would have never gotten anything done that day at work. Thanking J’onn again, Kara stepped into the open air with a fresh mind and a lighter heart.

***

The deafening sound of a ringtone jerked Kara awake to the point of disorientation. She threw her head around towards where the annoying sound was coming from and was shocked to the point of paralysis to find herself lying on a stranger bed. Her eyes jumped from the worn-out carpet to the unfamiliar furniture. She didn’t recognize these walls or the small kitchen in the corner.

Where was she? How could she have gotten here? She had just left J’onn’s office, about to go in for work…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some notes on this chapter:
> 
> Firstly, with the night club I tried to tackle some political views about capitalism. I don't see myself that knowledgable when it comes to politics and yes they can look rather extreme but I don't try to get into discussions about it and usually keep my opinions all to myself, therefore writing something like this can be considered very out of character on my part but it was what the story demands as RD is inherently related to politics and you will see more of this in some future chapters but please know that I'm not trying to take any sides here and this is just the story. 
> 
> secondly, about the girl RD sees in the club, I couldn't go any deeper into the topic because I don't see myself as the right person to go into those directions, and left the whole thing kind of open for reader interpretation since either way, the result was the same and violence is violence no matter the context and sufficed in my plot, so there is that.
> 
> And thirdly, the topic of Kara outliving almost everyone in her life is something I've never seen the show (or very few fanfics out here) ever touching it and frankly, I think this is such an important thing when you look deeper into Kara Zor-El's mind and personality. I imagine it can be very terrifying to even think of the very long future ahead of you without having any of your loved ones around and being forced to live for a millennium (if not millennia) and watch civilizations literally rise and fall. (If only she could have someone by her side that could live as long... hmmm... who could that be? *Sarcasm*) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you liked this chapter and the J'onn and Kara scene. They are such underrated father/daughter pair. Their relationship was perhaps the only good thing about S4 that I actually liked.


	5. Gold Rush

* * *

_"Her voice is full of money," he said suddenly._

_That was it. I'd never understood before. It was full of money—that was the inexhaustible charm that rose and fell in it, the jingle of it, the cymbals' song of it. . . . High in a white palace the king's daughter, the golden girl. . . ._

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

With a pounding heart, Kara looked at the two narrow windows that were allowing some light into the room. It was still day outside so maybe she hadn’t lost that much time after leaving J’onn’s office after all. The way the windows were so close to the ceiling, and the fact that the only exit was the door at the top of a short staircase, told her that the place was a basement.

Since her caller wasn’t to give up so easily, Kara scrambled to her feet, stumbling and almost tripping in her half-awake, dazed state. Her phone was on the other side of the room, carelessly left on a ragged carpet next to a rickety table. In her hurry, she had little time to think of the reason behind the mess that was spread across the floor in her path.

“H- hello?” Kara answered the call at last with a scratchy voice.

“KARA! Are you ok? Where the hell are you!?” Alex yelled at her in a freaked-out tone, in a way that told Kara she hadn’t been missing for just a few hours.

“Alex… I- I don’t know where I am,” She slurred her words a little.

“Don’t hang up! I can track you,” Alex said and Kara heard her talking to another male voice in the background, unmistakably belonging to none other than Querl Dox.

“Alex,” Kara called, freaking out herself a little.

“Kara, keep talking. Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m ok,” Kara responded, looking at herself, her feet. Only then she noticed the clothes she was wearing. They weren’t the same clothes she had on when she was leaving J’onn’s office with. She was wearing some sort of uniform. Her heart skipped a few beats when she recognized the red waistcoat, dark skirt, and the insignia on her sleeve buttons. _A black knight chess piece._

“Kara?! Are you still there? Is there someone else there with you?” Alex’s voice was barely audible through her racing mind.

“I- I’m here. No, it’s just me,” Kara said distractedly as she checked the entire building with her X-Ray vision before focusing back on the room, she was in. Her eyes wandered across the floor and followed the mess she had ignored earlier. They were her civilian clothes which she had been just wondering about but what shocked her most was the pile of jewelry glinting in the dim light on a table. Her jaw dropped.

“Do you remember anything? What is this place you are at? Can you describe it to me?” Alex inquired further.

“N- no, I- I can’t remember anything, Alex! I don’t know this place! It looks like a studio basement of a small house.”

“Is there anything special about it or is there anything there that is out of the ordinary?”

Kara kept gaping at the shining mountain in front of her. “I- I suppose not,” Something was keeping her from speaking the truth. How could she describe this? 

“It’s ok, Kara. Keep talking. We’ve almost got your location,” Alex must have sensed her insecurity.

“Alex, I just stepped outside J’onn’s place! I swear I was just going in for work and boom I woke up here to your call,” Kara turned her back to the annoyingly extravagant scenery and chewed on her bottom lip.

There was a moment of silence before Alex replied in a hesitant voice. “Kara, that was two days ago…and we just talked last night. I did feel you sound off but you said work was bothering you and when I didn’t hear from you all day, I got so worried. I should’ve known,” She sounded so disappointed. Kara hated it when Alex sounded like that. Before Kara could say anything though, Brainy spoke some word of confirmation. “Kara, we found you. We’re coming over. Don’t move.”

“Alex, can you please… not hang up?” Kara asked, sensing the call was going to end soon.

“Of course, anything you need, Kara. I got J’onn here with us. He can get there sooner than me,” She said while shuffling around.

Kara let out the breath she had been holding unknowingly. She was Supergirl for Rao’s sake, but this was beyond anything she had ever been through. Somehow Red Daughter had hijacked her body for a robbery. Did she have an obsession with jewelry like a Niffler? Somehow even a Harry Potter reference didn’t make her feel any better.

She couldn’t let others see this. She was too ashamed. No, it wasn't ‘shame’. There was something else about this she couldn’t just let others find out. Snapping into action, Kara hurried towards the mess on the table to somehow deal with it before J’onn’s arrival and almost stepped on her Kara Danvers-disguise glasses in her rush.

“Kara? What are you doing?” Alex enquired, undoubtedly hearing her movements.

“N- nothing! Just changing into my own clothes,” She said while indeed trying to get herself rid of the short skirt, dark flat shoes, and the white shirt.

“What?” Alex was rightly confused.

Kara cursed in her mind. How could she explain that? There were no mirrors available in the room but she was fully aware of the fake dark hair weighing on her head. She pulled it away and let her natural blond hair flow freely over her shoulders. How did Red Daughter tolerate this thing on her head for 8 hours a day while working?

“I’ll tell you later,” Kara dodged the question as she finally wore her jacket over her normal – too normal – bright button-up shirt with her superspeed. On the other side of the line, she heard traffic noises. Alex was definitely on her bike.

“Kara, is there anyone else in the building? Can you use your vision?”

Kara stopped shoving at the pile of gold and gems and slid down her glasses to check her surroundings once more. “No, the house looks empty,” The house was literally empty. She couldn’t spot any furniture in the 2 stories above her. Only the basement was equipped for some reason.

“Maybe I can just leave?” Kara suggested while nervously staring at the jewels. There was absolutely nowhere she could hide them in time before they arrived.

“No! We don’t know if it’s a trap. Stay put Kara,” Alex demanded.

“Ok,” Kara relented.

“Kara, I’m sorry but I have to hang up now, I’m entering a tunnel. J’onn is almost there.”

“It’s ok, Alex. See you soon,” Kara said before the call was ended.

As her eyes jumped from beneath the bed to the worn staircase leading to the ground floor, suddenly an idea – clear as day – popped in her mind.

As if from memory, she walked to the staircase and pushed the second step on its right corner. With a soft click, it slid open, revealing a space, designed for hiding objects. There was a stash of cash – not American dollars – and a passport in there.

She had no time to check them when she heard someone’s footsteps upstairs, J’onn no doubt. Thanks to her speed, all the stolen jewelry was transferred to the spacious hiding place, filled to the brim. She closed the wooden lid just before J’onn opened the door on top of the stairs.

“Kara!”

“Hey, J’onn! I would say long time no see, but I was just with you in your office when I blacked out,” Kara said with a tight smile, trying to break the tension.

The Martian climbed down the stairs and came to stand before her, regarding her carefully. “Are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” She declared truthfully.

“I’m glad,” He nodded, his right hand patting her shoulder, but his eyes still rather narrowed. He asked a few more questions to which Kara had no answer and then started looking around the place.

Kara kept to herself for the next twenty minutes. J’onn was awfully quiet. More than usual. Something felt off with him. Before she could ask what was wrong though, someone else burst through the door. It was Alex, holding her favorite alien gun at ready. The same one she had found two years ago on Maaldoria aka Slaver’s Moon.

“Kara,” She shouted as she jumped two steps at a time and engulfed Kara in a tight hug.

“I’m ok,” Kara repeated as she hugged Alex back. She finally felt safe again.

Alex pulled away from Kara and started checking out the room. J’onn was way ahead of her, already looking into the empty mini-fridge next to the small sink and at the pieces of clothing, Kara had left on the chair. Kara felt anxious about them finding out her secret.

“You said I talked to you last night?” Kara asked, trying to divert their focus a little.

“Yes, we did. I’ve been so busy between this rogue alien and working with new recruits that I had no time to check on you in person. We should have been more careful,” Alex said while checking the pockets of the waistcoat Kara had left on the single chair along with the wig. “You were wearing these?” She asked.

“Yes, but I have no idea why,” Kara nodded as she lied. She had a pretty good guess why she had been wearing the staff uniform of ‘The Dark Horse’ club. She had no memories of what had happened but she could easily imagine that Red Daughter had used the disguise to get into the club and rob the jewelry store there. _If_ that was all she had done. The rage and resentment Red Daughter felt towards that place was still burning afresh in her mind. Only Rao knew what exactly she had done.

Just then J’onn’s attention was piqued by a small object on the ground and bent down to pick it. Kara saw it sparkle and her breath got caught in her throat. It was a diamond earing she had missed in her hurry.

“What’s that?” Alex joined J’onn as she stared at the earing.

“Kara, do you know what’s this doing here?” Alex asked.

She shook her head a little too fervently. “No, why would I know? I just woke up here!”

Alex noticed her fidgeting and nervous manner. “Hey, we’re not here to accuse you of anything. We’re here to help you.”

Kara nodded in understanding but the look J’onn was giving her made her feel more nervous. He was definitely suspicious of her. Involuntarily, she shuffled closer to the stairs. It was too easy to read through her even without telepathic powers. Kara was terrible at lying.

To her relief, neither J’onn nor Alex reacted to her awkward behavior and continued searching the rest of the small place. They only found an empty black duffle bag and a club staff keycard belonging to one ‘Sidney Davis’. 

“I’m going to look into this person and club and see if they have seen anything unusual in the past two days,” Alex claimed, taking the keycard from J’onn.

“And I will find out who owns the house. There should be some clues there,” J’onn said decidedly and the two nodded back at each other in agreement.

Kara looked between them, feeling out of place and useless. “What can I do?” She asked even though a part of her wanted nothing more than to just ignore and forget everything. She was tired of all this.

“There isn’t anything you need to do, Kara,” Alex told her as she walked over and put her arm around her shoulder. “You just take it easy and tell us if you remembered what happened here or anything else.”

Kara nodded and decided not to argue further, she wasn’t feeling like it anyway. She was still shaken. “Hmm, if it’s ok with you I’m just gonna go home now.”

“Of course, but at least let me examine you. We don’t know what happened to you.”

“I feel fine, Alex.”

“We can’t be sure like this.”

“Ok, but you said we can’t take this to the DEO. How do you propose to do that without any equipment?” Kara pointed out.

Kara saw Alex and J’onn exchanging a look before the Martian spoke up. “We were thinking the Fortress of Solitude is the best place for carrying out our investigations.”

Kara gave it a thought. Indeed, the Fortress had all sorts of cutting-edge alien equipment they could use. She proceeded to nod in approval. They needed her to have access to the Kryptonian sanctuary after all. “Alright, I- I just need to –“ Kara looked around herself in frustration and discomfort, one hand rubbing at her forehead. “-need to check my loft and see what I’ve missed,” She was tired even though it seemed she had been sleeping just before all this. A thousand concerns crossed her mind. What had happened to her work? What responsibilities had she been neglecting? It was a mess even without the existence of that hidden stack of diamonds and golds.

Alex grabbed at her forearm, attempting to hold her fidgeting movements. “Everything’s ok, Kara. We’re gonna figure this out. Come on, I can give you a ride home,” She offered.

“I can fly there,” Kara said, only to remember that she wasn’t wearing her Supergirl suit under her clothes. “Oh, no. I don’t have my suit!” Where could they be? Hopefully in her loft.

“Come on,” Alex prompted again and Kara complied. Maybe that was for the best to take it slow. She was still on edge.

Kara followed Alex as they climbed the stairs, J’onn only a step behind Kara. She fought the urge to throw a final glance at the hiding spot beneath their feet. What was she going to do about them?

They found their way swiftly through the vacant old house that seemed to be abandoned in the middle of an extensive renovation. The wooden boards cricked under their shoes loudly and annoyingly. They stepped outside and Kara was forced to raise a hand and squint against the strong daylight attacking her unadjusted eyes which had been used to the cool and dark basement. She blinked a few times until the exterior of the unknown place came into focus for her.

For the hundredth time since she had woken up, Kara asked herself where the hell she was. There were only a few houses on the block they were standing on, each surrounded by generously vast gardens, very unlike the dense city blocks she was familiar with within National City. The only object she recognized from the scenery in front of her was the jet-black bike, parked hastily by the rusty front gate.

Noticing her gaping, Alex provided an explanation. “We’re outside of the city.”

“How...” Kara trailed off, realizing how pointless her question would be since none of them had the answers. Yet.

This neighborhood was oddly quiet and no activity or prying eyes were to be seen nearby.

Alex reached her bike and tossed Kara the spare helmet. It was black as the night just like her own. She hesitated for a moment, thinking how ridiculous she was going to look like in her bright outfit, next to Alex in dark leather. She pushed back the mental image forcefully and decided getting back to her home was more important. She put on the helmet and sat behind Alex unsurely. She had never been a back-seater. The only time she had been on a bike was that single time when Cadmus was taking Alex and J’onn away and she had teamed up with Lucy Lane save them. Another tearful night in her book that felt like it had taken place more than a century ago. How she knew to drive a bike was another story for another time.

J’onn bid them goodbye curtly and walked to a more discreet location to take off in his true Martian form. Alex roared the bike to life and quickly turned the head around in the right direction. Kara gripped at her waist while keeping her super strength in check and feeling very off-balanced. That was a lot coming from the one with flying ability.

The ride back to her loft took around almost an hour – technically it could have taken half an hour if it weren’t for the terrible traffic in the city center. It wasn’t the most comfortable ride but it gave Kara some time to think about everything. Unfortunately, she came up with no conclusion. Her memory of the past two days was completely wiped.

Once they made it to her building on Hope Street, Alex accompanied Kara inside. She was almost vibrating stressfully as Alex used her own key to open the door, dreading to find another strange scene in her loft, maybe more stolen gems, expensive artifacts, or rare paintings. To her absolute relief though, there were none. Her apartment looked normal. Although maybe not entirely normal because the kitchen sink wasn’t overflowing with dirty dishes like usual.

Alex too was eyeing everything as if trying to spot something out of place. Kara rushed to her bedroom in search of her handbag which hadn’t been with her. She was worried about her wallet and other valuable belongings. She sighed loudly when she found the said handbag safely on the dresser with everything in place. Next, she looked for her Supergirl suit. She opened the closet, reaching for the built-in hidden compartment, behind it, where she usually hid her suit. One couldn’t be too careful when it came to hiding a Superhero’s secret identity. Sure enough, the suit was right there where it should be when not used. Kara gripped at the frame, leaning her forehead to it as she took in deep breaths and felt the stress leaving her body at last. Everything was fine. She was okay.

“Kara?” Alex called her.

“Alex, the suit is here. Everything’s in place,” Kara told her with a relieved smile, walking back to the living room.

“That’s good,” Alex said with a troubled expression. Kara noticed the phone in her hand, indicating she must have received a serious call. “I’m sorry, I have to go back to DEO right now, but please call J’onn and get yourselves to the Fortress as soon as possible,” She instructed as she pocketed her phone.

“Sure, but is everything ok?” Kara asked regarding her disturbed manner.

Alex shook her head. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Just please don’t go anywhere or do anything else today, Kara. We have to get the situation under control.”

Kara was taken aback by the urgency in her voice. She figured that she might not have completely realized the situation, but for Alex, it had been two days. It was for the best if she listened to Alex and get herself to the Fortress so they could get this fixed. She couldn’t afford another episode or else she probably would find herself three years later in a foreign land.

“Okay, I’m just gonna make a few work calls and then meet with J’onn,” Kara reassured Alex.

“I’ll call you soon as I’m free,” Alex said and opened the front door, stepping out.

“Ok, bye,” Kara said but Alex was already gone. She really was in a rush.

Kara checked her emails and made some calls, finding out she had been on leave of absence for the past three days. One less thing to worry about. Red Daughter had been using the holidays she hadn’t been using for the past year. Smart move. She also hadn’t been appearing as Supergirl anywhere on the news.

A knock on her door made Kara look up from her laptop where she had been checking her bank account transfers, wondering if she had been buying anything. Apparently not.

Her X-ray vision showed it was J’onn on the other side of the door. She immediately closed her laptop and went to open the door for him. “Hey, J’onn. Come on in. I was just about to call you.”

“Are you ready to leave? Alex called me,” J’onn asked promptly. There was still that unsure look on his eyes from earlier, as if he were deciding whether to trust Kara’s actions or not. Kara wondered if he was suspicious of her being Red Daughter and pretending to be Kara.

“Yes, just give me a second to get into my suit,” Kara rushed to her bedroom to get changed.

This time when she opened the hidden backdoor to fetch her suit, Kara noticed the black duffle bag pushed in the shadows under her suit, behind the red boots. It was identical to the one they had found in that basement earlier but unlike that one, it was seemingly filled with something. Her heart raced anxiously for what could be in this bag. More jewels perhaps?

“D- did Alex tell you what is up at the DEO?” Kara suddenly asked out loud to divert J’onn’s attention for a while as she pulled out the bag as quietly as she could from the small space.

“Not really, she just mentioned that they had an emergency briefing for a threat and she couldn’t miss it.”

Only half-listening to what the Martian was saying, Kara opened the zipper painfully slowly with trembling hands. It took all of her not to gasp loudly. The bag was full of cash. Thick stacks of neatly bounded bills with ‘Benjamin Franklin’s staring back at her judgingly. Oh Rao, what had Red Daughter done?! But money wasn’t the only thing in that bag. There was a piece of folded paper tucked between them, Kara recognized that it was torn from one of her reporting notebooks.

Naturally, she took it out, expecting a message of some sort from Red Daughter.

She was wrong. It was just a list of names. None of which she recognized as she scanned them fast. The only thing that caught her attention was that they were all female names. What could this mean? Was this some sort of Arya Stark’s kill list?!

“Kara?” J’onn’s voice made her jump out of her skin. Thankfully he hadn’t entered her room.

“Coming,” Kara shouted as she dumped the bag back into the hidden space and slammed it shot after taking out her suit. Her heart was pounding with guilt. In her hurry, she had dropped the list of names. She shot it under her bed with her left foot like a teenager caught red-handed reading adult magazines.

She was out of her room wearing the suit in the next second. Not for the first time that day since waking up, she was thankful for her inhuman speed. And not for the first time since then, had she been hiding things and wondering why she did it.

“Ready?” J’onn asked.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Kara answered as naturally as she could and walked towards the tall window she always used for flying in and out.

That was when she heard the explosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thanks for reading and hope you liked this chapter. Sorry I couldn't update last week. Thesis and life don't leave me much energy sometimes to write anymore but I am hoping that I can finish the first draft soon. Some exciting stuff are coming up that I'm very excited to share.
> 
> Anyway, I got some side notes on the new Supergirl episode that aired last night and other things that I liked to get off my chest:
> 
> I know I don't watch the show anymore and I know my opinion doesn't really matter, but I just wanted to say that I will continue to live in my own version of the canon where it's happier and safer for my mental health. I don't want to take any sides or even express my opinion here, but as a karamel writer, it's extremely heartbreaking to even follow the spoilers from the show at this point and no amount of logic can make it hurt less for me. Whatever happens, I keep on writing and cherish those sweet moments that keep inspiring me to write.  
> And besides all this, let me tell you that after the things that happened 3 weeks ago, a tragedy that has befallen my nation all after a horrible plane crash, I look at life differently now. If petty people like to whine and throw tantrums over a fictional ship, let them be. None of it will really matter. Real life is something else. Don't let them get to you and stay safe. What we achieve in our lives by working hard to reach our goals, the efforts we put on our relationships, the sacrifices we make everyday, those are the things that matter and last. Remember that kindness is never wasted. Try to live life to the fullest because none of us know what will tomorrow bring, and if you struggle, if you make mistakes, if you can't smile today and if you're afraid of future, it's alright, I do too. We're only human after all, but you have to believe that there will be change, that things won't stay the same for better or for worse and that you are never alone. If there is someone who hurts you, there will be many more who will be kind and more than happy to help you even if it's just by listening to you. Don't stop talking, don't stop hoping.
> 
> love you all,  
> Mika


	6. The Abomination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Triggering Content Warning**  
> Violence and self-harm thoughts
> 
> A tip: Try reading Red Daughter parts in a Russian accent! ;)

* * *

_"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

The source of the explosion wasn’t within National City but the outskirts, from the industrial site as Kara had come to know after all the years living there. Something must have gone terribly wrong in one of the factories there. She kept on listening with a racing heart and leaped into the sky, followed closely by J’onn.

“Did you hear that?” She asked as she shot in the direction of the mayhem. People were shouting there now and she had to get there as quickly as possible to help them.

“I did, but Kara, wait, maybe it’s best if you sit this one out,” J’onn suggested as they both flew over the overcrowded streets packed with cars and people minding their own business and completely oblivious to the peril she was headed towards. Some people, mainly children, even waved at her with excited smiles.

“What?! Why?” Kara scoffed almost in disbelief. She couldn’t understand why J’onn was asking her this when lives were at stake.

“I’m just worried about exposing you to another situation that can trigger something, we can’t afford anything to happen again.”

He did have a point, Kara thought, but she just couldn’t ignore the pain she was hearing. That wasn’t her, besides, Red Daughter had never interfered with her saving people. She might have done bad things, in the name of what she thought was the right cause - under the twisted influence of Lex Luthor – but she wasn’t this demon others saw her as one. Kara felt like she needed to correct this.

“No, J’onn. She never stops me from saving people. That’s not her,” S _he’s better than that_. She added inwardly.

J’onn didn’t argue further as they got closer to their target. Even from afar, Kara could see the huge white smoke emitting from the side of the building where a big hole had been made - a result of the explosion she had heard without a doubt. The giant clouds didn’t seem to be exactly caused by fire as she had first expected and as they landed close to its source, it felt icy to the touch rather than scorching hot. She exchanged a look with J’onn before they both stepped over the rubble and into the opening. The pale fog felt chilly as she threaded through. so cold that it made her - a Kryptonian under a yellow sun - shiver. It couldn’t be tolerable by any humans if she were feeling like standing in a blizzard. 

Alarms were blaring as the two powerful aliens found themselves standing over the remains of a torn apart gas tank. Kara didn’t have time to inspect the origin of the substance or the cause of the explosion when she spotted two injured men lying around. They had scraps of metal lodged in their bodies, tearing at their thick protective suits. A gruesome scene she wasn’t unfamiliar with after being Supergirl for a couple of years. One of them was squirming in pain while the other was motionless. Kara rushed towards the unconscious one while J’onn went for the awake man. Desperately trying to find a pulse, she exhaled in relief when her sensitive ears heard his heart beating over the loud noises of their surroundings.

Kara picked up the limp body, mindful of his injuries and decided to take him further inside the building instead of trying to carry him through the thickening icy jets that were blocking their way outside. Both men were in serious danger of Hypothermia if they remained there any longer.

The Superheroes found the rest of the staff and the medical team soon and trusted the wounded workers to them. Thankfully they both were going to survive.

The engineers were frantically trying to do damage control and asked Supergirl to help them open some valves next to the damaged tank. It was only then, during their short and rushed debriefing when she finally realized that the cold substance was actually liquid Nitrogen. About two hundred below zero degrees of Celsius if her memory served well from that time she had learned about it in high school and even back on Krypton where the element had a different name. It was boiling at room temperature, vaporizing and making the opaque fog. Compared to this, the Fortress of Solitude in Antarctica was just a hot summer day!

It took about half an hour to bring order and safety back to the factory. There wasn’t much to do as they let the supercold Nitrogen evaporate on its own time. When the two aliens made sure that the engineers and technicians had everything sorted out, and in no further need of their superhuman assistance, they found their way outside to finally depart.

The yard was now crowded with the staff and employers - evacuated for the emergency - and ambulances. Chatters could be heard from everywhere. The two aliens walked among them, getting ready to take off as soon as they could find a clear field, but then the harmonic march of boots thudding unfriendly against the asphalt forced an abrupt end to the conversations going around. Kara looked in astonishment as the perplexed workers gave way to a group of soldiers, all in black, carrying unusual weapons. She couldn’t understand why the army had been summoned to the site. This wasn’t something they normally helped with.

To her surprise, the armed men came to a halt in front of her and the one leading them stepped forward with a strict expression.

“Supergirl, you are under arrest,” He declared with authority.

Kara was sure she had heard wrong and did a double-take. “I’m sorry, what?” She gaped at the ranked soldier in front of her and then glanced at J’onn questioningly. A grim look was written on his face. She faced the man again, “For what crime?” She asked.

“You are under arrest for treason against the United States of America,” He stated firmly.

Kara gasped at his response. Everyone around started murmuring alarmingly this time. Their heavy stares were weighing on her and on their faces, she saw that look she had seen before not that long ago. Distrust and fear. Had they not seen her just rescuing one of their colleagues? 

“There must be a mistake! I have done nothing against this nation!”

The commander ignored her denial. “We are under orders to bring you in.”

Kara was seething. She thought this was too far for just leaving an interview unfinished. She didn’t let her stance falter under the shock, however. This was no time to show weakness. Keeping her defiant mask unflinching, she put her fists on her hips - her signature Supergirl pose - attempting to look as tall and powerful as she possibly could. “I will not be taken in like some criminal for something I haven’t done! Tell your superiors to contact me through proper channels and then I will correct their assumptions.”

With no regard to what she had just said, the soldiers spread out as their leader stepped forward, speaking louder, “Supergirl, you are under arrest for obstruction of justice. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, and if you resist detention, we will be inclined to use force against you,” He recited what seemed to the famous Miranda Rights but didn’t sound quite right. It was too shortened. At the mention of ‘resistance’, some of the soldiers gripped at their big rifles a little tighter. Their fingers were touching the triggers.

To Kara’s sheer disbelief, he brought out a pair of handcuffs - made of Nth metal if they really knew what they were doing. 

“No!” She shook her head in refusal and took a step back. She noticed J’onn’s stiff posture and the crimson glow of his eyes. She tried to reason with them one last time in hopes of stopping anything bad that was about to happen, “I have rights! You can’t just arrest me! This is against the Alien Amnesty!”

“The Alien Amnesty has been revoked by the new vice president,” He explained with a faint and humorless smirk. 

This was outrageous. They had stripped aliens from all their rights without even telling anyone. Kara frantically looked around, trying to find a way out of this before choosing a flight. She couldn’t make a decision though when J’onn stepped in between her and the approaching soldiers. His face was twisted in anger. “RUN,” He growled and Kara knew he was sensing, or reading, something much more sinister than just a pair of unbreakable handcuffs coming for her. She paused for a second, debating this. Her eyes glided over the strange guns. It wasn’t logical to fight. It was time to fly.

She pushed down to the ground, ready to launch and let her anti-gravity field take her to the sky. But it never happened. On the contrary, she felt as though being pulled down. An eerie faintness attacked her body and a burning pain flaming her skin as if thousands of needles were puncturing it.

She knew this sick feeling all too well, unfortunately. 

It was Kryptonite.

The only thing in this world that could hurt her. The only remains of her home planet brought her nothing but pain. How ironic.

The ground came rushing up and her knees hurt at the impact. It proved to be impossible to get back to her feet. Kara panted, her visions blurring and her ears ringing. She couldn’t locate the source of the Kryptonite in this state. There was no way for her to register what exactly was happening around her apart from sensing the commotion and guns going off. J’onn had engaged with the soldiers. She vaguely saw him disarming two men before knocking them backward. She tried her hardest to regain some control, wishing to help, but even keeping her head up was a challenge. She dropped her throbbing head, and her eyes fell onto her shaking hands that were holding her up despite the poisonous emerald glow of her veins. She noticed some discarded darts nearby, each containing a glowing green substance. The darts J’onn had saved her from, by using his body as a shield. They were awfully potent for such small amounts. They had to have a very high dosage to have brought her to her knees just by being in her vicinity. Her stomach was churning. 

Her vision shifted to a much darker spectrum, another image appearing to her. The memory of a memory. A memory of the same pain.

_“I don’t understand, why are we in such a hurry?” She asked but ‘Alex’ didn’t answer._

_the sky exploded in green, shining magically and creating a captivating and ethereal scenery. Instantly her mind went to the words she had memorized from that lush and colorful story._

_...Gatsby believed in the green light…_

_It was just as the writer had described. That green glow holding all the mystery. She stood rooted to the ground at the sight, as though hypnotized. So gripped by it that she didn’t even realize when her legs gave in. The momentary wonder was replaced by excruciating pain, erupting from every part of her body._

_“What is happening to me?”_

_Everything hurt…_

_._

_._

_A boy was crying for help in fear…_

_._

_._

_A cottage in ruins…_

_._

_._

_Tearful faces of her parents…_

_blazing lava devouring the soil miles beneath her pod…_

_A planet bursting into radiative green Krystal pieces..._

_Endless black void ahead of her…_

her mind was shifting in between. Kara shook her head against the unfolding mixed memories, willing herself to return to the moment. She couldn’t drift now. She heard J’onn cry in pain and the sound of his agony instantly sobered her up. Palms fisted as anger boiled in her blood along with Kryptonite. Fueled by fury, Kara pushed herself up, overcoming the weakness and staggered to her feet. No one was allowed to hurt the man she loved like a father and walked by. 

She found J’onn writhing in pain on the ground as a disheveled commander was standing over him, holding a small alien disk-shaped device. The brave powerful Maritan had taken out almost all the soldiers by himself and had saved her.

Kara marched on unsteady feet towards the assaulting man, every step an agony and a clenched shaking fist raised. Her head was swimming in dizzy, but she didn’t let it stop her. Her fist never made it to its target, the man’s jaw, however, because two Kryptonite darts pierced her torso. Standing upright wasn’t possible for her anymore and darkness forcibly swallowed her. This time she didn’t even feel the ground.

***

Kara came to slowly, reluctantly, as regaining consciousness had become an unpleasant matter, and a feat. She preferred the numbness and the bliss of ignorance, nevertheless, the awakening was out of her hands now. With a protesting moan, she stirred and opened her heavy eyelids. She was met with darkness so black as though she still had her eyes closed.

She pushed up with great difficulty, futilely trying to find any clues to recognize the place she was at. Her memory was too sluggish to be of any help. It took her a full minute just to recall why she had been unconscious in the first place, and when she remembered, she was full-on panicking. The army had abducted her.

But this pitch dark place looked nothing like how one would expect a government holding facility to look like. She wasn’t bound with anything and the ground beneath her wasn’t smooth. It was rough and dry. Kara grabbed at it and found her hands dusted by what felt like soil and dead leaves. She was even more puzzled by the discovery.

It took another long minute for her eyes to eventually adjust to the darkness. and still, nothing was distinguishable and absolutely no sounds could be heard apart from her own pants and her boots skidding across the uneven ground. She walked cautiously with a hand blindly reaching out to prevent herself from walking into a wall and thought harder. She wasn’t feeling any pain anymore, therefore no Kryptonite was around. Her hand scratched against something next and the sharp sting indicated that she had no powers. It was possible that she had solar flared after the exposure. What baffled her most was not the momentary pain, but the fact that what had cut her palm was made of woods and thorns. Could it be that they had taken her to a forest? But that was too illogical. 

Wandering and stumbling aimlessly in the dead gloomy woods and finding no end or boundary to it, she grew impatient by the lack of any sort of presence. “Hello? Can anyone hear me?” She shouted but no answer came to her call. The endless darkness was making her even more triggered. This bottomless void was awfully familiar to her. It made her skin crawl. It overwhelmed her with memories of years lost in the Phantom Zone. Away from anyone and anything she knew.

Kara clenched her eyes shut. Grabbing at the closest dried tree trunk, she desperately tried to stop the internal expansion of darkness and the external shrinking of the space. She was feeling claustrophobic again, just like that time Psi had made her relive the worst day of her life.

Ignoring her own erratic and choked exhales, she forced herself to think of her family instead. Of Alex, of her mother still alive on Argo, of J’onn.

Suddenly recalling the final state she had seen J’onn in, Kara wondered, with no small amount of concern, whether they had arrested him as well. “J’onn?!” She shouted in despair at the notion. Once again no one replied. What if he were there but still injured and unable to move?

She finally collapsed from all the physical and mental exhaustion and tried to think of a way out of this no matter how impossible it seemed.

Kara had no sense of time or direction in that lightless place. She didn’t know how long it had been since she had woken up, nor did she had any idea how much longer she had to endure it. It was getting cold and she was tired but she couldn’t sleep. Her mind was too restless.

When she first heard the distant murmurs, she assumed it must have been her mind playing tricks on her. It had been so annoyingly soundless that imagining it wouldn’t have been that unexpected, yet the quiet voice continued. Kara leaped to her feet and called again, “Hello? Who’s there?”

The stranger's voice didn’t respond, but the soft words grew clearer by every clumsy step Kara took towards it. A very faint and twinkling glow finally could be seen from between the ominous crooked branches and dense bushes. She was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. It was emitting through an opening of a cave, a few meters above the ground.

_“...we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past….”_

She recognized those words instantly, they were a famous line from the Great Gatsby. The realization made her pause before continuing to climb over a small steep hill. She knew exactly who she was going to find in there. She didn’t know how it was possible but she didn’t want to question or repel it anymore. Her insides were flipping with excitement and anxiousness at the same time. Her hands were shaking as she peeked into the opening.

There, Red Daughter was sitting in a corner, hugging her legs tightly to her chest and face buried in her thighs. Her hair was shining like platinum against the pale weak glow that was radiating from a flat flickering source on the ground nearby. Kara could sense how frightened she was, making her figure as small as possible as if she wished to hide from the empty world outside.

“ _All I kept thinking about, over and over, was_ ,” She continued to whisper in a broken voice.

“ _You can't live forever; you can't live forever_ ,” Kara unwantedly finished. It was her favorite line from the Great Gatsby.

Red Daughter snapped her head up with a panicked expression. Her blue eyes were blown wide in shock and her mouth ajar. In the dim light projecting from below her face - the face Kara saw every day in the mirror – she looked thin and haunted and shadows stretched over it in a Hitchcock cinematic style. 

Kara walked into the cave with measured steps and hands raised to assure Red Daughter that she came in peace. It was obvious that Red Daughter hadn’t expected a visit from her either. 

“I-” Red Daughter stammered, her hands clawing at the stone wall behind her as though she searched for an escape. Her eyes jumped to the source of wavy light and back to Kara with fear. Kara couldn’t connect the dots.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Kara clarified in a low voice with empty hands raised and stopped approaching her any further. “Snowbird,” She called her by the name she most identified with.

Red Daughter stared at Kara skeptically, _“Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope,”_ She recited another line from the book quietly. 

_“I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that,”_ Kara immediately continued from memory.

Red Daughter kept on gaping at her, the fright replaced by awe. Kara took this as a sign to take another step and knelt down to her level, keeping eye contact with her. _“Gatsby believed in the green light,”_

Red Daughter’s eyes sparkled for the first time. _“...the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter - to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther ... And one fine morning,”_ She kept speaking the words from the heart as though in a trance. 

_“...So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past,”_ Kara repeated the rest of the quote. A heartbreaking smile stretched Red Daughter’s dry and fractured her lips. Kara saw the permanent stains of tears on her face. She hadn’t just imagined of her sorrow all this time.

The two sat across from each other in silence like identical twins. Kara had so many questions to ask her and for a moment, she had completely forgotten about the mystery of this place. The more it went on, the more she was becoming sure that she wasn’t actually awake.

“Do you know where we are?” Kara finally spoke, albeit in a low voice.

“The place where all the Abominations are banished to,” Red Daughter answered with a riddle. It confused Kara more than answering any questions she had.

“The Abominations?” Kara repeated.

“The unwanted children of _Yuda Kal.”_

Kara’s eyes widened. _Yuda Kal_ was the Kryptonian goddess of life and the name brought her back to all the events she had gone through when dealing with Reign over a year ago. Suddenly that place, the forsaken woodland and the cave started to look familiar. She was back in that dark dimension. She was in the dark Valley of Juru. It didn’t look exactly like the last time she had seen it though. Kara looked over to Red Daughter and the vacant look in her eyes. Kara followed her stare and realized that she was captivated by the fluttering light. Kara squinted at the light on the floor and finally understood the reason behind the flickering. It wasn’t just light. It was a glowing fluid. She was equally and instantly enchanted by it. She heard its gentle ripples and suddenly the murmurs turned into words, ancient Kryptonian words that tempted her to drink. Abruptly, as if to persuade her, Kara felt overtaken by a terrible thirst that burned her throat. She felt she would die if she didn’t taste from the pond.

“NO!” Red Daughter cried as she pulled Kara back. Her voice bounced against the narrow stone walls.

Kara snapped out of the stupor and looked at Red Daughter sitting between her and the bewitching pond. She hadn’t even felt herself crawling towards the bizarre liquid. “What is that?!”

Red Daughter didn’t answer as she dragged Kara even farther, the farthest possible in that cave. She was too shocked to resist. The eerie words still echoed in her ears. They promised happiness, eternal peace, and the longest dreamless sleep.

“Its promises are empty! Do not listen to it!”

Kara saw a severe disturbance in her face even though they were in a darker spot. Clearly, she had been through this many times. “What is that?” Kara asked again.

“I don’t know what it is, but it will kill you,” She explained frantically. The horror in her eyes was enough for Kara to believe it. 

That was when Kara remembered how they had defeated Reign for good. Sam had destroyed Reign by forcing her to drink some water that weakened her completely. It had to be the same thing, but the water hadn’t resembled Dumbledore’s Pensieve the time before.

“Then why… why were you sitting so close to it?” Kara asked Red Daughter, not understanding how she could fight the temptation constantly. It could be so dangerous.

Tears glossed over her eyes at Kara’s questioning. Her face contorted in torment and a quiet sob escaped her chest. “I can’t take it anymore,” She whimpered weakly as she hid her face in her hands. “I just can’t,” She trailed off, too emotional to speak anymore.

Kara’s heart broke for her. “You were going to drink from it,” She deduced in alarm.

“I can’t live with this guilt anymore!”

There it was. The severe guilt Kara had been feeling all along. Kara was now scared for her. “Hey, listen to me. I- I know how you feel-”

“You have no idea,” Red daughter cut her off with a cry.

“Yes! Yes, I do! I’ve been feeling your pain every single day,” Kara said. That made Red Daughter rethink her next counterpoint. Kara seized the chance to continue, “I know about all the lies and manipulation you were under. You shouldn’t be held responsible for all of it. Yes, you acted wrongly but you were misguided and you deserve redemption. A second chance.”

“Not me! What I’ve done is unforgivable,” Red Daughter spat in self loath.

“Everyone deserves a second chance.” 

“I’m not everyone! You don’t understand! I’m no one, nothing! I’m just a mistake! I’m The Abomination!”

“No, you’re not! Stop calling yourself that! You are me!”

“No, I’m not! I’m nothing like you, just like my ‘Alex’ was nothing like yours! I am a fool and a murderer! I don’t deserve anything,” Red Daughter shouted vehemently, her Russian accent thickening in the agitation. She then pushed away from Kara and turned her back to end the conversation forcefully.

Kara needed to choose her next words carefully. Red Daughter was completely settled on hating herself.

“We might not have shared the same role models, but there’s one thing no one has given us and therefore can’t be taken away, no matter what. And that is ‘hope’,” Kara said, keeping her tone as firm as she could. Red Daughter remained silent this time, listening. Her compliant reaction encouraged Kara to go on, “Hope that you can rise to the occasion, hope that you will thrive, hope that you are never alone, and hope that you will see again the faces of those you loved and perhaps the ones you have lost...”

Red Daughter turned to Kara, her eyes filled with fresh tears, however, they weren’t tears of shame. They were of hope and grief. She wiped at them with the flimsy fabric of her torn sleeve. Kara only then noticed that she was wearing the same dark suit she had been in when she had sacrificed herself for Kara. She was only missing the cape and the emblem on her chest was ripped, possibly by herself. Kara knew she didn’t hate Kaznia - or rather its people - per se, the removal was owing to the fact that she hated what it stood for. 

“You- you found your mother again? She is alive?” Red Daughter asked out of a sudden, surprising Kara.

“Yes, my mother, OUR mother, is alive.”

“ _Our_ mother,” Red Daughter looked at her in awe as if she had a hard time believing Kara actually considered her a part of the family. 

“You have my memories?”

Red Daughter nodded, confirming Kara’s theory. “Yes, but not all of them. Whenever you regain a memory of mine, I see one of yours,” She hugged herself and it made Kara feel partially guilty. Not all of her memories had been pleasant. 

“I’m sorry, it mustn't have been easy for you to go through all those.” 

“Nor has it been for you.” 

Kara nodded and they both fell silent. She thought about the many things she wanted to ask Red Daughter, everything she had missed telling her the time she died in her arms. She didn’t have the time to decide what to say next when Red Daughter spoke first.

“What was Krypton like? What is your mother like?” She asked quietly with such longing in her voice that made Kara’s heart ache.

Kara was slightly taken aback by the questions but then one look at her gleaming eyes filled with the yearning of someone who had never seen her true home, and she was convinced to share her memories of their lost homeworld. She gestured for her to take a seat on the ground in front of her as she did the same.

Kara had a lot to tell Red Daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope it wasn't too hard to get through. This chapter and the next one are the most important chapters of this story. You could say they are the heart of this fic so I'm so excited to finally share them with you. I hope you liked the Red Daughters parts. Writing her broke my heart and for doing it I had to look into myself and my own dark days, which isn't fun but I had been building up everything to this moment for Kara and RD to finally meet and talk.  
> I hope I didn't overdo it with the Great Gatsby quotes. I just really love some lines. They are just so meaningful and relevant.
> 
> *I got good news folks! Guess who's dropping in from the future next chapter??! :D Yep! you know it! 
> 
> **fun fact: The Nitrogen gas tank explosion was inspired by a real accident that happened to me during a workday. Well not this dramatic. you see, I work with liquid Nitrogen in a lab and I accidentally dropped a small container and it shattered into thousands of pieces and I wasn't wearing my safety goggles. Fortunately, nothing happened to me but since that day I never forget to wear my goggles!
> 
> Cheers till next week!


	7. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into the future...

* * *

_“No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

It was one of those times when one wondered how they had come to be involved in something that was very unlikely for them to be associated with, knowing one’s habits and general behavior. Take Mon-El for example. He was the leader of the Legion of Superheroes. Experienced, skilled, intelligent and above all, very reserved. So, it was unheard of him to be in the middle of a bar fight with a giant alien of an unknown species, punching and kicking in burning rage. Therefore, even Mon-El himself wondered what actions had brought him to this moment as his eyes briefly connected with Winn’s alarmed ones who was crouched behind an overturned table in a corner, watching Mon-El ducking from a giant fist.

_“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”_

The drunken crowd cheered with their spilling mugs held high.

***

Mon-El and Winn came over to this Dive Bar to loosen up a bit after having a really tiring day, full of dead ends. Come to think of it, the whole past year had been nothing but dead ends. Whatever plans they made to trap Brainiac, he always seemed to be many steps ahead of them. 

Sadly, having a drink didn’t turn out to be as relaxing as Mon-El had hoped when one of the men sitting at the counter not far from him, kept grabbing at the waitress every time the poor girl passed by to fetch orders or empty cups and plates and no matter how she expressed her discomfort whether with words or gestures, the thug never stopped and kept harassing her. The third time this happened, Mon-El banged his beer bottle on the table and raised his voice over the loud music to call him out.

“HEY! Stop touching the lady, you ass! Don’t you get how inappropriate that is?” He said.

The guy whipped his head towards Mon-El with a stupid grin plastered on his face, already intrigued by this challenge. The whole place grew quiet instantly, every eye and ear turned to them.

“And who’re YOU telling me wha’s appropriate?” The man slurred boldly.

Mon-El was in civilian clothes, so he raised his right hand, on which he was wearing the Legion ring to show that scum just who he was talking to. Mon-El was already on edge, under the stress from all the mission failures and lost or injured Legion members, not to mention his eagerness to be done with all this and return to Kara sooner. He really wasn’t having a good day and this man was quite literally stumping his nerves.

“Ugh, it’s you,” The guy spat in his direction in disgust. “You privileged superpowered assholes who think they own the galaxy!”

Mon-El started counting to ten in his mind, trying to calm himself down. 

“So, which one are you?” The bulky bald alien asked in mockery. “The one who turns into a rat? Or the one who shoots lightning out of his ass?”

Mon-El felt his jaw clenching so hard that his gritting teeth were at the breaking point. “Neither. I’m the one who’s gonna kick your ass if you don’t shut up!” Mon-El fisted his right hand and landed it on the table with a thud.

excited chatters from all around the bar could be heard.

_“Dude, that’s the Legion leader!”_

_“That’s the Daxamite who saved the Earth!”_

_“… Mon-El! He saved my cousin Lory on Beltair!”_

As he had told Kara once, secret identities didn’t exist in the future. He was just Mon-El from the Legion of Superheroes. The pervert alien had heard the chatters too, yet looked even less impressed. 

“I should have known! You’re the biggest suck-up,” The alien said in disgust as he stood up and walked - or rather stumbling drunkenly - towards him. Mon-El jumped up to his feet instantly and didn’t allow him to tower over. He was much taller than Mon-El had expected, nevertheless, he didn’t feel even the slightest intimidated by his size. He had defeated much more enormous foes. The stark stink of alcohol on his breath made Mon-El wrinkle his nose and pushing him closer and closer to losing his cool, but he couldn’t afford that with all the eyes watching them. 

Unfortunately, the dude didn’t have any intentions to stop talking. “You’re that dick who slept with that Kryptonian bitch and make everyone worships her, just because she sucked –“

The remainder of the nasty talk remained unknown as Mon-El smashed his beer bottle against the thick skull of that mouth-breather with a loud growl. “SHUT YOUR HOLE,” He yelled.

And that was how the fight Mon-El could never forget, started because he had never beaten anyone with so much rage in his heart. In fact, no one has ever dared to insult Kara the way this guy had. The anger Mon-El was experiencing was so scorching and blinding that he disregarded his own code about not using powers on civilians and used all his intrinsic powers which included:

**Super Strength.** Mon-El butt headed and punched the alien into the wall behind him, so hard that he collided heavily and made a huge dent in it.

**SuperSpeed.** He ran without anyone being able to follow him with their eyes and kneed that douche in the ribs to knock the wind out of him before he even had time to inhale.

And, **Heat vision.** Mon-El cut one of the metallic legs of the nearest table clean off with the red laser beams shooting from his eyes and curved them easily with his bare hands, wrapping them around the limp thick wrists effortlessly. 

This had been a piece of cake for Mon-El to the point of disappointment. That guy didn’t put up any fight to make him struggle even a bit. His whole body was still shaking with fury and he needed to punch something so badly. To steam off.

Just as he turned his head over to where Winn had been watching from the entire time with a raised brow, the alien broke his restraints as though they were made of tissue paper and stood a full neck and head taller than Mon-El. 

“You piece of shit!”

Uh oh. He had _not_ seen this coming.

Not a second later, Mon-El was flattening four tables with the force of a blow. When he finally came to a full stop in a pile of wood and metal scraps, he felt his face hurting badly where he had been punched. Comets were circling around his head and he couldn’t even move.

“Mon-El,” Three ‘Winn’s appeared over him dancing and shouting at the same time. “GET UP!”

When he didn’t immediately move, Winn tugged at his jacket and with great effort managed to pull him into a sitting position. Grabbing Winn by the back of his collar, Mon-El stirred his best friend and himself to avoid being trampled by an enormous foot. With Winn hiding behind him, Mon-El sparred with the alien, hitting him with anything he could grab or Winn handed him. More bottles, wooden bars, shoes. Nothing affected him. 

Mon-El used his superior speed once more to take Winn to a safer spot behind a table before rushing back and tackling the tireless aggressive alien to the ground. 

The intoxicated people whistled and shouted, the music going crazy.

There wasn’t much to register afterward, apart from the repeated hits and grunts and headlocks until the fight was over with both participants collapsing, barely conscious.

Mon-El was positive he couldn’t have made it back to the Legion cruiser without Winn’s help. Winn had dragged Mon-El all the way on wobbly legs by carrying most of his weight on his shoulders and neck. When he finally dropped Mon-El on a chair with a loud exhale, he started talking, “Dude! What the hell? You destroyed that bar!”

Mon-El blinked many times as he tried to focus his drooping and inflated right eye on Winn who was two ‘Winn’s right now. It suddenly crossed his mind, how cute it would have been if Winn had an identical twin brother. A hysteric giggle bubbled in his throat and turned into full laughter. 

Winn eyed him in concern. “Hey pal, you ok?”

Mon-El threw his head back and continued to laugh, “Do I look ok?” He answered Winn with a question.

“Nope,” Winn regarded Mon-El’s black eye and thorn lip and shook his head with his arms crossed over his chest. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and tomorrow we talk about what you did back there.”

“You’re the best.”Mon-El nodded and stood up with great difficulty and grabbed the back of the chair to keep his balance. The movement gave him dizzy and he felt nauseated. His head and ribs hurt so bad. Winn just shook his head at him as he helped him back to his cabin. He barely made it to his bed before passing out.

The next morning when Mon-El finally woke up, he felt like absolute crap. The cursed headache was still banging against his skull and a jumble of memories from last night came flooding to the surface of his mind, making him cringe at his own actions. He splashed cold water across his face and for the first time saw his own reflection. There was not a single sign of the fight on him anymore, yet his hollow eyes and pale skin told the truth about how he was really feeling. 

The moment he stepped into the commanding area of the ship, Winn turned on his chair to greet him. He had already started working on their next plan. Mon-El admired his optimism and persistence, something Kara had taught them all.

“Good afternoon,” Winn grinned at him.

“Afternoon?!” Mon-El asked in an unbelievably hoarse voice. He hadn’t checked the time since he had gotten up.

“Yeah, it’s almost 2 pm. Glad you made it, buddy!” 

Mon-El pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, “Ok, so let’s hear it. Tell me, how bad is it?”

Winn kindly handed Mon-El a glass of water with a pill as he told him about the full damage he had caused last night. “Oh, well let me see, we got like ten broken tables, a few dozen broken chairs, and two walls. And this is not taking into account the poor jukebox.”

Mon-El gulped down the water in one swallow. “That music was so annoying,” He mumbled.

Winn scoffed, “Well, you could have told me to change it to Bon Jovi for you.”

“And how’s the guy?”

“He’s alive if that’s what you’re worried about. Apparently, just suffering from a concussion very much like you.”

Mon-El sighed in relief, “Good. He deserved it,” He muttered the last part, still seething from his offending words.

“Ok, so are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” Winn stared him down.

“Nothing’s going on with me, Winn! I just lost it when the guy insulted Kara.”

“No, that wasn’t you! I’ve never seen you that angry before.”

“Well, you hadn’t been around me for years! I’ve changed,” Mon-El instantly regretted his words at seeing the hurt on Winn’s face. He didn’t deserve this. He had left his home and family in the 21st century to come and help the Legion and he had been nothing but kind and resourceful. Mon-El couldn’t treat him like that. “I’m sorry, Winn,” He went to sit on a chair and rubbed his forehead to soothe the throbbing as he gathered his words to start telling Winn what really bothered him.

“It’s.. It’s just been really hard. Harder than it’d been the last few years,” He lifted his head to look at Winn who was watching him in understanding.

“I know, you miss Kara. I get it, pal. I miss home too,” Winn already knew what was on his mind.

“And it’s been months and we have no lead, no way to locate Brainiac or how to stop him. He outsmarts us every time.”

“I know it’s not what we exactly want, but he will come out of the shadows and strike again eventually. That gives us a window.”

“He’s already taken five worlds, Winn! And we couldn’t save even one! Ten Legion members are missing!” Mon-El said, talking about the rescue missions, during which some members had been trapped in the shrinking cities and abducted away by Brainy. The supervillain was collecting advanced cities by reducing them into the size of a snowglobe.

“Look at the bright side Mon-El, they’re all still alive and we’ll get them back.”

“Do we even know how he is miniaturizing such large structures?”

“Well, on Earth-One they had developed the technology. Ray Palmer invented the Shrink Ray, I don’t see how a Twelfth Level intellect can’t create one too. But he needs a gigantic power source to do it, which I assume he could be using the gamma radiation from Supernovae in the galaxy.”

Mon-El stood up to check the monitors showing the status of Brainiac’s next possible targets. He was kidnapping type II and III advanced civilization to harness their processing abilities for his unknown evil ultimate goal - probably to conquer the galaxy - and they had failed every time to be there in time to evacuate the cities. Millions of people were now prisoned in their own houses under the reign of the cruel green sentient cyborg and his clones.

“Have Garth or Imra reported since last night?” Mon-El asked Winn, without taking his eyes off of the traffic map of the galaxy, searching for the infamous red dot that indicated the presence of Brainiac’s hideous ship.

“No, still nothing.”

Garth Ranzz, best known as Lightning Lad, had been on a mission with Saturn Girl to find any intel on Brainiac aka Vril Dox. Anything they could find from his background, weaknesses, to his motives and plans. They checked in every few days, but they had been radio-silent for over a week and that had been worrisome.

Winn sensed his concern and tried to reassure him. “They’re probably having fun on Calaton, don’t worry.”

Winn referred to the fact that Imra had started a serious relationship with Garth since ending her and Mon-El’s political marriage. Mon-El knew they had a crush on each other for years and couldn’t be happier that the two could finally be together.

“I hope so,” Mon-El shrugged.

“Mon-El, Brainiac can’t run forever. Don’t worry. We’ll get him sooner or later, and then we both go back home.”

A faint smile finally appeared on Mon-El’s face. “Yeah, we will,” He was about to add something else but a soft buzzing from his Legion Ring stopped the train of his thoughts abruptly.

Mon-El promptly held out his hand for the incoming call. A light blue hologram of Brainy’s head projected above the ring. The fact that Brainy was calling from the past alone was enough to worry him.

“Hey, Brainy, what’s going on?” Mon-El asked.

“Mon-El, we need the Legion’s help immediately,” Brainy said, his eyes uncharacteristically wide in alarm.

“What’s happened?”

“Kara and Alex have been both arrested by the government.”

“What!? For what?” Mon-El gasped, his stomach falling. he glanced at Winn who stood up from his seat with deeply furrowed brows.

“Supergirl is convicted of treason and Alex tried to stop them and is charged with disobedience,” Brainy explained in his calm tone with a tinge of fear which sounded strange.

“Treason!? How is that possible?” Winn asked this time before Mon-El could. 

“A lot has been going on here since last year. There is no time to tell stories now. We must act quickly before they break Supergirl.”

Mon-El balled the hand that wasn’t keeping his ring upright, his jaw clenched. His heart was now racing. “What do you mean by breaking her, Brainy?” He asked darkly in a quiet voice, one that was barely kept together.

Brainy looked at Mon-El’s highly disturbed face through the ghostly hologram, keeping silent for a moment, calculating before answering him. “I’m afraid they have access to Kryptonite from the evidence J’onn provided me with. I cannot possibly save them both from the blacksites they have been taken to in time with this crude equipment of the twenty-first century.”

There was no argument left on Mon-El’s mind when he heard the word ‘Kryptonite’. It was a sealed deal. “We’re on our way Brainy.”

***

Kara could clearly see the profound marvel mixed with a twinge of envy in Red Daughter’s eyes, sparkling against the faint reflected light from the deathly glowing liquid in a safe distance from them. She was drinking vigorously on each word Kara spoke of Krypton as a lost traveler crossing a desert would seek to quench her thirst. Kara, at last, saw that glimpse of life and joy missing in her eyes. She kept quiet the entire time as Kara retold all that she remembered of her long lost life. Kara talked of her parents, her mother’s courtroom, her father’s modern laboratories, her own room, school, friends, baby Kal-El and the magnificent sight of Argo city’s skyscrapers with the many pods speeding across her window soundless while glinting silver under the crimson rays of Rao.

When Kara finally came to a finishing point by recounting all that had occurred on the day she had left Krypton – or fled, to be more accurate – she trailed off, not sure what to add. Having to go through all of her childhood memories had gotten her emotional. She stopped fidgeting with the fringe of her cape and looked up to Red Daughter to find her gazing at her with wide and sorrowful eyes.

“T- thank you. I truly wish I had seen home,” Red Daughter said in gratitude with a shaky voice. “I apologize for putting you through this… It’s never easy to talk about the people you’ve lost,” She added as she dropped her head to stare at her similarly fidgeting fingers. Kara was slightly surprised to see her exhibiting the same nervous gestures as her owns. A sudden mournful sensation cast over her yet stiff shoulders.

“Mikhail,” Kara said out loud in hesitation at the realization and expectedly, witnessed the new set of tears glistening in Red Daughter’s eyes at the mention of the lost boy’s name. Kara felt badly for reminding her of the horrible memory again. “I’m so sorry, I know how hard it’s been on you,” Kara added and reached to touch her hand in a show of support. Her hands were two cold stones. It felt so strange how closely identical they were to her own hands. But that wasn’t the only strange thing about them. Not a moment after Kara’s hands touched hers, a purple flare like a small sized lightning bolt caused both of them to jump back in shock and an excruciating headache, unlike any Kara had ever experienced, made her vision blurry. From the moan of pain, she guessed Red Daughter was feeling the same pain. She gripped at her head, helpless against the building pressure that seemed adamant to split her head open.

Kara couldn’t hear or see anymore as a sickeningly fast stream of pictures with swarms of feelings took away breath and any sense from her. They all belonged to Red Daughter. She was being thrown into any memory her clone had ever had, colors spinning around her rapidly, sceneries jumping, changing and blending into one another. It was impossible to keep track of anything. But just as she was giving up on ever coming to stop, very unexpectedly, Kara found herself falling face forward on a different and much softer flooring and the headache disappearing as fast as it had come.

It was broad daylight, the sky cloudy and gloomy. Kara pushed herself up unsteady and regarded her unfamiliar surroundings. Tall pine trees looming over were all she saw at first. Moving forward with a racing heart, she inhaled the pure scent of the dense spiky dark green leaves overhead and the smooth blanket of their dead brown ancestors beneath her feet. She knew this soothing aroma mixed with the sharp smell of burning wood, knew exactly what it was associated with. She remembered it too well even though it wasn’t from her own memories. A loud anguished cry echoed through the forest, causing a flock of ravens taking flight in shock. Kara took another step forward, her mind thrown into a frenzy and legs trembling as she realized what awaited her beyond the protective wall of trees.

Her feet took her to the smoking pile of ruined pieces that once were the upstanding parts of a small but cozy cottage. She had seen the scene before, but this was different. This didn’t feel like regaining a memory. She knew because, for one thing, she wasn’t seeing things through Red Daughter’s eyes anymore and had control over her movements, while in the memories she was merely an observer and trapped. But the biggest give away was the fact that Kara was actually seeing Red Daughter collapsed in the middle of the crater of exploded debris as sobs wracked her body, clutching that torn piece of the soccer ball to her chest. It was as if Kara had entered the memory just as Harry Potter would visit a memory in the books.

This was the day it had happened. The day Mikhail had perished.

Kara approached the heavily grieving young woman, slowly and mindful of the scattered broken planks and furniture in her way. Her heart broke all over again as her eyes slid over the demolished house. Kitchen utensils, a deformed pot, and scorched books. Ripped pages of a notebook filled with the little boy’s colorful drawings were singed, trapped under bricks.

She was too preoccupied with the devastation around her that never noticed the break in the continuous sound of crying.

“YOU! YOU DID THIS!”

Kara jerked at the loud angry shout. Jerking her head towards Red Daughter, she saw her standing in front of her with balled fists and shaking in her fury, but her enraged stare was not directed at her. She was glaring daggers at someone behind Kara. Turning on her heels sharply, Kara came face to face with a bald man wearing a dark coat.

Lex Luthor.

The same anger boiled through Kara’s veins, roaring in her ears. Too loud and intense that she almost forgot that this wasn’t how this memory had progressed exactly.

Before Kara had any time to work this out or even react, Red Daughter pushed past her, charging at the cruel man standing still with an emotionless expression and blank eyes as if he wasn’t even seeing them. Something was off about him.

“YOU KILLED HIM,” Red Daughter screamed as she raised a steel fist, ready to pound.

Kara moved without thinking to put herself in between before something bad could happen. Even if this seemed to be an illusion, it was her instinct to prevent violence.

“NO,” Kara grabbed Red Daughter’s wrist, locking it where it was in the air.

“Let go of me! He killed Mikhail,” Red Daughter yelled resentfully and struggled to free her fist, raising her second hand to push Kara away.

Kara trapped the other hand as well and looked straight into her red and enraged eyes. “Please, you need to calm down! He’s not real. He’s just a memory,” Kara said and watched as her jaw clenched and unclenched, eyes darting between Kara and the strangely quiet man, as if thinking of an argument, but couldn’t find any. Her hands slowly withdrew and finished her movements by taking a defeated step backward.

“He killed Mikhail,” Red Daughter stated in a broken voice again. Kara could sense her deep turmoil. She turned and walked away in resignation, hugging herself. She was barely keeping herself together. “He killed him so I would hate Americans! He killed that innocent boy because of me,” She added, her eyes filled with tears. “If only I-“

“You already know,” Lex Luthor’s mirage suddenly spoke, causing both women to turn and look at him. He didn’t look any different. Still as motionless and hollow as before, standing exactly where he had appeared.

They stared at him, expecting more words but he kept quiet. Kara remembered him saying those exact same words to Red Daughter in the original memory when she had asked him who was behind the bombing. Kara wondered what was the purpose of all this and what exactly was this.

The two Kryptonians each took a different path, looking cluelessly around the destroyed cottage, not knowing what to do. The longer Kara regarded the site, the more incorrect she found it by what she had seen all this long through the lens of Red Daughter’s grief-ridden memories. She found the deformed metallic piece with the infamous Ameritek logo printed on it and checked it from all angles and sides.

“This isn’t right,” She exclaimed out loud, causing Red Daughter to stir around, looking at her. 

“What?” Red Daughter asked, walking towards her with a very familiar confused crinkle between her brows. Kara would have laughed were the situation not this serious.

“Are you sure this is exactly how you found the place? Is it identical to your memory of that day?”

The confused crinkle on Red Daughter’s face turned into an irritated one. “Of course it is! I visited this place for days after it happened! So, I would know if something was out of place,” She said angrily, as though Kara had somehow insulted her ability to memorize the worst day of her short life.

Kara rose her free hand in the air in a truce. “Hey, I didn’t mean it that way, but something just doesn’t add up here.”

“What do you mean?” Red Daughter asked, less irritated and more curious now.

“This piece,” Kara showed Red Daughter the missile shard in her hand. “It doesn’t seem heated or melted by the explosion. You can even read the manufacturing number on it! How convenient is that?”

“So what?”

“It’s not just this. I’ve been to war zones in the Middle East before. I’ve seen firsthand how missiles destroy constructions and this,” Kara motioned at their surroundings. “Is nothing like it. There is no crater, no dips on the ground and no focal point of the explosion, nothing like how missiles work! I even sat through a seminar at the DEO where they explained the footprints of different arsenals and explosion types. This- this is more like everything imploded from the inside by intense heat, not explosion! Like how short-range laser weapons work,” Kara explained excitedly with the elation of being on the verge of making a big discovery, yet Red Daughter seemed unaffected. “Don’t you see? This was all staged! He said it himself,” Kara pressed, pointing at the semi statue of Lex Luthor standing still on the other side. 

As though on cue, he came to life.“Don’t do this, listen to me, Luthors bide their time,” Lex Luthor said the next line from the memory where he had tried to stop Red Daughter from acting impulsively, which she had done anyway.

“Exactly!” Kara shouted. “That’s what they do! Luthors plan and play you!”

To her disappointment, none of her epic revealing words made Red Daughter do anything more than a shrug of her shoulders. “Yes, he played me, big news, but what difference does any of this make? Mikhail is dead anyway,” She said with a clenched jaw and started to turn away. She was too depressed to see the truth.

Kara stopped her by grabbing her shoulder. “No, don’t you see?” She said in a softer voice.

“What?!” She asked in annoyance.

“There is no sign of a body anywhere! Not even a trace or shadow or speckles of ashes as there’s supposed to be!”

Red Daughter gaped at Kara, finally putting the pieces together and the truth dawning on her in the light of her words. As she was speechless in her state of flabbergasted, Kara put it into words for her as though to cement it.

“Mikhail is **alive**!”

* * *

_“I was a little shocked at the elaborateness of the lie.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> So our boys are finally here! The first half of this chapter with MonWinn in a bar fight was originally written over a year ago when I first tried to rewrite Season 4 but due to various reasons, mostly lack of time and inspiration, it was suspended and was dusting in my folders until I started this story and it fit right into it. I'm glad I finally could use it and I must admit I like writing Red Shadow a lot more than that S4 rewrite. 
> 
> January had been crazy, I haven't been able to write anything in weeks, so I'm a little behind on my schedule on writing this fic. I try my best to update next week in time but I may need a week of break in between to check for consistency and plotholes in the story.
> 
> P.s: How happy are we about Chris making his legendary return first as Kai and soon in a whole new show???? And Odette is going to play his sister! I'm - quoting Odette - over the moon as well! ^^


	8. Plan C

* * *

_“Human sympathy has its limits, and we were contented to let all their tragic arguments fade with the city lights behind.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

Brainiac 5 was standing completely still on the icy floor of the Fortress of Solitude with closed eyes, calculating, processing and analyzing all the 2678 possibilities of saving the two sisters from their unknown fate. His face was twitching slightly as each of his speculations hit a dead-end, resetting the process, the number dwindled exponentially until only 3 remained.

He opened his eyes robotically, his expression composed and blank. The timeline had already been changed with his presence in the twenty-first century and their golden rule of avoiding any sort of meddling was no longer applicable if they wanted to keep the damage from propagating into the future and beyond. Thus he had contacted Mon-El, seeking his physical and technical help. They were expecting their arrival at any moment now.

J’onn was sitting on a white icy edge close by, still in his true Green Martian form and nursing his hurting head. He was healing gradually from the psychic attack inflicted on him by that military device. It had been four hours since both Danvers sisters had been taken away and they were out of options.

Even Nia’s dreaming power hadn’t been much of a help to them in this situation. She was in training and interpreting her visions correctly and meaningfully was a tricky matter and a work in progress. She was now back in National City, keeping them posted and trying to use her powers to see if she could help them.

“They’re here,” J’onn announced and Brainy turned to see him standing, his eyes fixated on a point towards the dome as if he saw something invisible to normal eyes. “I sense their consciousness,” The Martian added with a tight smile, all his concerns and discomfort momentarily disappearing. 

The Legion was there on time, just as Brainy had anticipated, or rather calculated.

The two aliens didn’t have to wait long before Mon-El managed to open the special gateway of the Kryptonian Fortress. Something only very few were capable of doing, with J’onn also being among them. Mon-El walked in wearing his red suit, his blue cape waving against the gust of Antarctic wind and his face all business. Winn wasn’t far behind him, shuffling to match his friend’s determined and quick pace. He was clad in some thick dark jacket and winter clothes which still wasn’t warm enough for such extreme temperatures.

“Brainy! Where are they now?” Mon-El’s voice echoed from every corner of the Fortress. He wasn’t about to beat around the bushes at this moment with greetings or pleasantries and in any case, he knew better than to waste time around Brainy who didn’t care for them anyway.

“Alex is detained at the DEO at the moment. Kara, on the other hand, has been taken to an unknown secret Cadmus site outside National City. Her whereabouts are still unknown.”

“Cadmus?” Mon-El’s voice wavered and any remaining color on his already pale features abandoned his face.

Winn who had stepped aside to give J’onn a brief hug meanwhile joined them at hearing the name of the infamous alien-phobic organization. His blue eyes were wide and scared just like Mon-El’s.

“I thought you said the government arrested her!” The tech genius said.

Mon-El’s face was emotionless but his eyes were giving him away with the evident horror filled in them. He had begun to put together what he had been missing the past year.

“Yes, the government is now working with Cadmus. The new president is very anti-alien,” Brainy explained and looked as Winn’s face fell even further.

J’onn approached them with downcast eyes. “I should have sensed their intentions much sooner, but somehow they had a cloaking device that was shielding their minds against my powers,” He said in disappointment.

Mon-El touched the old wise Martian’s shoulder in sympathy. “It wasn’t your fault J’onn. You did everything you could. We are here to help now. Were you injured?” Mon-El said, his eyes scanning J’onn with concern for injuries.

The Martian smiled faintly but warmly at the young Daxamite who had become like a son to him. A son he was so proud of. “I was, but not for long now,” He said, trying to ease Mon-El’s mind. “I’m not going to sit this one out,” He added with his ruby eyes glowing a little brighter and dangerously to mirror his paternal determination. He wasn’t about to just idly stand by because of his decision to avoid physical conflicts when the lives of his daughters were in danger.

Mon-El nodded firmly at J’onn, not even thinking of objecting to him. His hold on the older man’s shoulder tightened in a show of support. 

“I’m glad you’re back home again, Mon-El,” J’onn said and pulled him into a hug. Mon-El hugged him back, a silent sigh leaving his tight chest with a word of gratitude.

Yes, he was back home, but it wouldn’t feel like home before they were all together again. Before Alex and Kara were safe again.

“So, what’s the plan? You do have a plan, right?” Winn asked Brainy.

“Yes, three in fact and they all begin with us breaking into DEO. Nia had warned me beforehand, therefore I was able to plant a bug in the surface WLAN in time before they asked me to leave so they could execute their nefarious plans.”

“You KNEW what was going to happen?!” J’onn asked in disbelief.

“Who’s Nia?” Winn asked in confusion.

“Yes, I was aware of what was going to happen,” Brainy responded to J’onn before turning to Winn and adding, “Nia Nal is Nura Nal’s ancestor, or Dream Girl as you must have met her in the thirty-first century.”

“And you just let it happen?!” Mon-El asked, barely keeping his anger in check.

“Yes, I know to a simple mind it must seem that have acted to the benefit of the enemy, however, according to my very thorough analysis of the future outcomes, this action – or rather inaction - was in fact to prevent a worse fate.”

“Worse than Alex being locked up and Kara being taken by her worst enemy to Rao knows where?!” Mon-El was nearly shouting.

“Yes,” Brainy stated simply and impassively, completely unaffected by the frustration of the three surrounding him, staring at him.

Mon-El took a deep breath, reminding himself of the way Brainy always worked. Of all the times he had saved the Legion and the world by his unparalleled foresight. It wasn’t the first time that he had advised them to not interfere with the occurrence of events only to find a more suitable moment that ensured victory. He must have seen something in his analysis as he had said so himself.

“Okay, so what is the plan? How do we break into the DEO?” Mon-El finally spoke, shifting the conversation forward. They couldn’t afford to lose time arguing over this.

Brainy walked over to the crystal console of the Fortress and pushed some buttons that opened a holographic page that was showing lines and lines of computer codes. 

“We need to hack into the DEO system and create fake agent IDs that will allow the two of you,” He motioned at Mon-El and J’onn before continuing, “to enter the building without raising the alarms.”

“Easier said than done,” Winn interjected. “I’ve designed that firewall myself, nothing can get past that and it will know if you create fake IDs!” He said with a proud – almost smug - smile.

“Yes, I am quite aware of this impenetrable firewall, or should I say firewalls, very impressive for a low-level intelligence species,” Brainy praised Winn in the most nonoffending way he knew. Winn rolled his eyes. “But the bug I planted into the WLAN will allow us to duplicate an ID, which will trick the system. J’onn can assume one random agent’s identity with his shapeshifting abilities.”

“But still, the second firewall will recognize duplications!” Winn argued.

“Yes, only if the codes are written in 64float. With my bug we can duplicate the codes in 32float and the system will not recognize it. It’s a minor bug in the system.” 

Winn gaped at Brainy.

“Okay, that’s for J’onn, what about me? I can’t shapeshift. We may have some image inducers I can fetch from the cruiser,” Mon-El suggested.

Brainy shook his head. “No, there is no need for an image inducer. There are very precise scanners that will detect such gadgets. For you, I have restored your old DEO clearance – with some manipulation, also in 32float – which was stored in the backup archives, therefore you can simply walk in with your true face.”

“Wow… that is smart,” Mon-El remarked with admiration and looked over to a flustered Winn who seemed offended by how his prefect, multilayered firewall had been defeated by a small flaw.

“Why couldn’t you do the same with J’onn’s old clearance? I’m sure his should be in the archive as well,” Winn asked.

“I did think of that at first, but changing his picture with a duplicate one aroused an error. It seems his ID has a different encryption which is much more secure due to the fact that he had been a director. Besides, he’s a familiar face. Everyone would get immediately suspicious if he shows up at the DEO.”

“Show off,” Winn muttered quietly under his breath. 

“What about the alien scanners at the entrance?” J’onn pointed out the next obstacle in their plan.

“Since when do we have alien detectors at the DEO?” Winn asked with a frown.

“Since the DEO has been overtaken by the government and they have a good business relationship with the L-Corp. DEO uses many of Ms. Luthor’s technology,” Brainy answered.

“Lena is working with the government?!” Winn asked in surprise. “But she always used to say that she didn’t trust them, I wonder what happened…”

Mon-El was silent, but in his mind worrying thoughts were blossoming one after another about this new information. Lena selling the government anti-alien technology was very fishy. She had experimented on Sam Arias in secret, created synthetic Kryptonite and developed alien detectors which even Kara once had confessed how difficult it had made it for aliens, including herself, to blend in, while making a big profit for the company. He wondered what else she had been up to while they had been away.

“It may seem to complicate our plan, but the scanners are very easy to cheat. You see, the human knowledge of the alien’s physiology is very primitive and these alien detectors only scan for unusual cellular activity with the Infrared sensors which can be very simply fooled by using a power inhibitor. Speed at the cost of accuracy. There are no DNA tests involved. That could take days with this age’s technology and not very profitable, I might add,” Brainy explained. 

“Oh boy, it’s like breaking into Gringotts,” Winn mumbled to himself and Mon-El instantly understood he was referring to that magical maximum security bank in the Harry Potter world which was run by goblins.

“Now shall we get to the rest of the plan once you get inside?” Brainy added and they continued discussing the details of the rest of the mission. 

Soon everything was set ready for the next morning, even though Mon-El wished they could do it that same night.

The next morning, J’onn wearing the face of agent Larry Jenkins, a new recruit, with a power inhibitor implanted on his wrist, disguised as his wristwatch, walked up to the DEO entrance, accompanied by Mon-El in the same dark tactical gear outfit. They passed the security and scans successfully just as Brainy had designed. 

When reached the top floor by elevator, the two separated, each walking towards their previously specified destinations. 

J’onn headed for the detention section, already aware of Alex’s whereabouts thanks to Brainy’s hacking abilities. He only had to wait for Mon-El to do his part to plug in a virus into the DEO server’s mainframe so that the tech team – Brainy and Winn – could take control of the smart locks and set Alex free.

They hadn’t activated their earpieces to communicate yet since it was too risky and could be easily intercepted by the DEO’s high precision receivers. They all had to rely on each other’s skills of time management for the while.

J’onn walked through the last hallway and spotted Alex, angrily pacing the small cell with reinforced glass. She noticed him approaching and stopped. 

“Jenkins?” She asked with a furrowed brow. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have field training today?”

J’onn chuckled. It was clear to him that Alex didn’t have the best relationship with agent Jenkins. She had that ‘tone’ with him.

“Yes, but I thought I can be more useful patrolling the detention sector, ma’am,” J’onn played along. He couldn’t resist but use this chance to tease Alex just a moment longer whilst Mon-El finished his job and the cameras were frozen so they could free Alex.

“It is still Director Danvers to you, and since when are you allowed to decide things?” Alex glared at him sharply with arms crossed over her chest. She was very irritated already by everything that had happened. A caged tigress, ready to pounce.

J’onn impatiently stalled for a few more seconds, watching out for the signal he was waiting for, the red dot on the surveillance camera to turn off as Winn had promised. They didn’t have much time or else their fake IDs could be revealed by the backup firewall that did a security scan every twenty minutes. 

“Hey! Look at your superior when you are spoken to, agent!” Alex snapped. Even detained, Alex Danvers was one of the most intimidating humans J’onn had ever known.

The small red light disappeared just then and J’onn smiled. It was showtime. He turned his attention back to a very angry Alex Danvers.

“Alex, it’s me, J’onn. We’re here to get you out,” He said and watched Alex’s cold and twisted expression transforming into an astonished one. 

“J’onn? How…?” Alex’s looked him up and down, as if searching for a sign to confirm his words.

“Yes, it’s me. I would have shown you my red eyes but I’m wearing a power inhibitor right now so you have to trust me.”

Alex regarded him for a moment suspiciously. “Then tell me something only J’onn would know.”

Smart girl, J’onn thought. “You’ve hidden a bottle of Martini in one of Kara’s cupboards for the next Thanksgiving,” He said with a smirk and Alex’s jaw dropped. She was beyond the shadow of the doubt, one hundred percent convinced that he was who he said he was.

“How… when…?”Alex stuttered.

“You forget I’m a telepath. Also, I saw you do it last time we had a game night at Kara’s.”

Before Alex could come up with a response, the door of her cell hissed open and a cheerful voice filled J’onn’s ear. “Testing now, one, two, three!” Winn said. “coming alive! The light is green, Martian Manhunter!”

“I said not to use that name on the coms!” J’onn scolded quietly and motioned for Alex to step outside.

“J’onn they’re after Kara!” She frantically said.

“I know, Alex, but there’s no time to explain now,” J’onn assured Alex before handing her a pair of handcuffs.

“What? You want me to put these on?”

“Yes, that’s part of the act, but don’t worry, the lock on them is broken.”

Alex put the cuffs on and J’onn grabbed her arm, pulling her towards the exit. Alex played along silently, catching up to their plan without any explanation.

They made it out of the detention sector and into the main hallway without any interruptions. So far, so good.

“Uh, oh,” Winn’s voice made J’onn almost flinch. He was about to ask him what the problem was when the problem approached them.

It was agent Jenkins himself roaming the hallway.

They locked eyes with each other and J’onn literally saw his brain freezing and color draining from his face as he saw himself in front of him.

Jenkin’s really had skipped his field training that day. What were the odds?

J’onn quickly thought about their options. He could remove the power inhibitor and make him forget, or he could –

Alex broke out of her fake handcuffs and knocked Jenkins out cold with one calculated blow to the back of his head before he could even yelp. She really didn’t like Jenkins, J’onn figured.

“That’s for missing training!” Alex claimed and put the handcuffs back on. “And lacking discipline!” She added.

J’onn pulled Jenkins’ body into one of the genitor closets and hid it from the sight before resuming their track to the commanding room and the elevator which was their way out.

“Can you please give us a heads-up next time, Winn?!” J’onn complained.

“Sorry! Will do next time, Space Dad!”

J’onn fought the urge to facepalm.

“Did you say Winn?! Our Winn?!” Alex asked with wide eyes.

“Yes, I’ll brief you after we get out of here in one piece.” 

Alex nodded curtly and didn’t ask further, but the smile on her face remained untacked. 

“Coast is clear!” Winn updated them as they went further down the second hallway. Just one more hallway to go. They were supposed to meet Mon-El by the elevator.

They reached the commanding area. A quick scan of the place from around the corner showed that Mon-El wasn’t around yet, instead the place was buzzing with agents, which made their exit almost impossible. It was time for the second part of the plan.

“Winn, any time now,” J’onn said.

“Sorry, Brainy and I were figuring something out. Here we go. In three,” Winn counted down. “Two, one!”

At first, nothing seemed to happen, but then a low rumble from downstairs shook the ground. All the agents froze in their place in shock before the alarms went off and Haley was barking commands and trying to control the situation. All the cells in one of the detention sectors were suddenly open thanks to the combined efforts of their tech team. The perfect diversion, needed to give them a chance to escape.

J’onn and Alex waited impatiently for the commanding area to evacuate. Much to their disappointment though, Haley wasn’t moving.

“Maybe she won’t notice,” Alex said, watching Haley focused on the monitors showing the mayhem in the building.

J’onn glanced at the elevators on the other side of the room and then at Haley with her back to them. Mon-El was still nowhere to be seen. They needed to get out now.

“Winn, where is he?” He asked.

“I don’t know. He’s comm never came online,” Winn replied in a worried tone. “He’ll come around soon, I’m sure. I know him. He can handle himself,” He added with more assurance.

J’onn gave it a quick thought and made a decision. “Come on, it’s now or never.” He said and pulled Alex along.

They walked as fast as it wasn’t considered suspicious, praying Haley wouldn’t turn around or notice them. They had made it halfway to the elevators when,

“Hold on, you there!” Haley shouted and J’onn heard Alex cursing under her breath.

They both stopped walking and kept their cool as Haley approached them. The key was to act normal and confident now.

“Where are you taking Danvers, Jenkins?” Haley asked.

“I am under orders from the NSA to transfer Director Danvers from the DEO, ma’am,” J’onn stated the made-up dialogue they had practiced in their planning last night.

Haley didn’t seem convinced even the slightest, as expected. She looked at them dubiously. “And who gave you such orders?” She asked with her hands folded over her chest stiffly.

J’onn was running out of excuses and improvisations.

“The orders came from my superiors, Colonel,” Another familiar voice answered instead and J’onn turned his head just in time to see Mon-El walking past them, wearing a dark suit and glasses instead of that tactical suit he had seen him in first. He had assumed the look and attitude of a secret government agent very accurately. This was their plan B.

Mon-El strode forward confidently, tall and bold as if he owned the place, leaving no room for doubt about who he seemed to be. He handed Haley a piece of paper. She accepted the letter after giving Mon-El a long, quizzical look, but didn’t open it.

“I wasn’t aware of your arrival, agent…”

“Matthews, ma’am,” Mon-El said as he provided Haley with a fake ID, keeping his face straight and serious.

“Agent Matthews. Every visitor is obligated to inform us ahead of their visit and they all check in through the commanding line before being allowed into the building.” 

“Yes, however, I was told that the necessary documents for my request have been sent to you this morning via email and I was allowed entrance directly due to the urgency of my task,” He tilted his head and glanced at Alex who was staring at him wide eyed. “The case has taken a turn and this is no place to detain a human, as DEO is solely to contain aliens. And as for your unawareness of my arrival, it could be because of the current issue with the system,” He nodded at the monitors displaying the DEO agents fighting to push aliens back into their cells.

Haley shook her head. “I received no such documents, agent,” She said skeptically and took out her phone, checking her inbox. The look in her eyes then turned confused. “This is strange… there are new emails, but I swore there were none just now…”

“You’re welcome!” Winn gloated in J’onn’s ear.

Haley took a minute to read through the emails and the letter. A very long minute as they anxiously waited for the moment they could walk out of the building.

“Yes, it seems to be right,” Haley conceded, despite the deep frown on her brows.

Mon-El nodded. “Then I can take it from here, colonel. Thank you for your cooperation,” He reached to hold Alex’s other arm as the three of them walked towards the elevator. Just a few more steps left.

“Colonel, Jenkins is found unconscious in sector 145!” One of the agents at the desks informed Haley frantically, out of breath. Haley turned to them sharply with a face twisted expression.

“Stop them!” She commanded as she pointed at the trio, reaching for her own gun. The few remaining agents on the floor all ran towards them with raised guns.

“Oh crap! Time for plan C!” Winn shouted. 

“What’s plan C?!” J’onn asked, pushing back one of the agents.

“Run!” Mon-El answered as he pulled out the fake wristwatch that held the power inhibitor inside.

J’onn copied him fast and got himself rid of the watch. There was no point in pretending any longer. Alex broke out of her loose handcuffs as well, flexing her arms and balling her fists, ready to fight.

Haley realizing what was about to happen, ran to the main console with all the computers. 

“She’s putting the building on lockdown!” Alex said and disarmed two agents.

“Time to go!” Mon-El said and grabbed at Alex, flying towards the rapidly closing porch exit at the top of the stairs which Kara always used. They had mere seconds before it was shut with reinforced steel.

J’onn flew right behind them, gaining speed. He couldn’t phase through the steel if he got left behind. The safety measurements for the DEO had been very thorough especially against beings like White Martians who had similar powers to Greens. The material was laced with tech that interfered with their ability to shifting through elements.

Mon-El dove, gliding through the narrow opening close to the floor, Alex stretched herself to the right, holding onto Mon-El’s right hand. J’onn flew to the left and they all made it just in time.

“YES! YES! YES!” Winn shouted deafeningly. J’onn could easily imagine him repeatedly punching the air.

They landed somewhere far and quiet, near a familiar looking parked mini truck in red and blue. Alex turned around, smiling at Mon-El who was quick to return it warmly. She was about to say something when someone jumped out of the back door of the truck with a cheerful cry.

“Alex!”

“Winn,” Alex called back as she pulled her over-excited friend into a firm bear hug. “You’re here!” She added in disbelief.

“Of course. No one messes with our family and we just stand back and watch,” Winn said and pulled back to put his hands on his hip with an attitude which made Alex chuckle. Was this supposed to be a copy of Kara’s power pose? Thinking of that immediately caused her smile to fall apart.

“Kara! They were going to arrest her! Please tell me she escaped?” Alex pleaded and turned her eyes on each of the men around her. They all diverted their eyes except for J’onn. Her heart fell as she met his gaze. Her biggest fear had turned to reality.

“We’re gonna get her back, Alex,” J’onn promised.

“I swear, whatever it takes, we will get Kara back,” Mon-El with such solid conviction that Alex believed him. The sharp serious look in his eyes was so intense that it made his irises glowing bluer than ever she had seen. Alex knew if anyone cared about Kara as much as herself, it was Mon-El. Having him and Winn back in their time gave them the advantage they needed. Something their enemies definitely weren’t expecting.

She regarded them each one more time, taking in a deep breath to calm her nerves even if slightly.

“Let’s go save Kara.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, fam. How did you like Space Fam working together to save Alex and being a total badass? Sorry I couldn't update last week. A lot was going on and I'm very behind on writing. I just haven't been able to write much lately but I think I've found my groove again so I'm hopeful again. 
> 
> On a side note, I know I haven't included Nia in my story so far and I'm sorry if you're a big fan of Dreamer, I just can't find her place in the team and it's mostly because I don't follow the show like before, thus I don't have a feeling of her character in the dynamic of the group and it's not because I don't like her. I have tried to include her in some way as the protector of National City in the absence of Supergirl to somewhat make up for it. I hope you understand.
> 
> ANYWAY, How awesome was Supergirl's 100th episode??? With Mon-El no less! I'm so thankful to see him just for one more time. He is a true hero and Kara's soulmate. An irreplaceable person. I've missed him soooo much! I just wish we could have Karamel back together. sigh... I guess we should be content for now that they didn't say anything about the state of their relationship and it's still on "Complicated". I look forward to seeing Chris and Odette in their new show though. It should be really fun! LOL Reign and Mon-El as siblings might end the universe but who cares?! Am I right? XD
> 
> Thanks for reading and cheers


	9. Birds of a Feather

* * *

_“She was feeling the pressure of the world outside and she wanted to see him and feel his presence beside her and be reassured that she was doing the right thing after all.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

When Kara came to again, completely disoriented, on her side on the ground, she inhaled deeply many times to find herself. She found Red Daughter in a similar position, though still passed out and twitching. Kara wasn’t sure what she could do to help her. She feared touching her again would ignite another seizure. 

As soon as she had revealed the deception behind the explosion scene and Mikhail’s death, she was suddenly engulfed by the same dark rush that had started all of it and here she was back in that gloomy cave with a murderous glowing fountain. 

It took a long moment, but eventually, Red Daughter’s body stilled, her shaking subsided and she started to wake up.

“Hey, are you ok?” Kara asked as she knelt next to her.

Red daughter nodded and slowly sat up, massaging her head. The next moment was spent in silence as Kara waited for her to speak, considering the important truth they had just unveiled, yet she oddly remained quiet.

“So?” Kara prompted.

Red Daughter wasn’t meeting her eyes, strictly staring at her slightly shaking hands in her lap. She shook her head. “How can you be so sure that he is alive?” She finally started. “What if -”

“No! no ‘what ifs’ now,” Kara stopped her train of thoughts. “Have some hope,” She said with as much conviction as she could put into her voice.

“But I’m afraid to hope again,” She met Kara’s eyes this time with tears in them. “Afraid that I am wrong…”

“I know it’s hard, it’s sometimes the hardest thing, but hope is all we have when nothing else makes sense,” Kara said gently and was glad to see the despair in Red Daughter’s subsiding. 

“How do we look for him now? Where do we start?” She asked.

“Well for starters, I’ve got to get out of this dimension,” Kara said and walked towards the mouth of the cave. As she stared into the shapeless darkness in front of her, she remembered that waking up wasn’t going to be the hardest part. She had no idea where she would be and under what kind of circumstances. Somehow staying there with Red Daughter was an easier option for the time being, but she also knew that postponing her awakening fixed no problem. It was an act of cowardness. 

“I think I can help you with that,” Red Daughter’s voice broke through Kara’s inner struggle. She turned to look at her and she continued, “There is another fountain on the other side of the woodland. It’s the fountain of Life. It will give you the strength to move out of this place.”

“Do you know the way?” Kara nodded unsurely at the maze of crooked trees out there.

“I do.” 

Her short but firm answer made Kara wonder just how long had she been wandering through this dark place, alone with her darker thoughts. It was saddening and terrifying.

“OK then, let’s get going,” Kara said and offered an encouraging smile to which Red Daughter only nodded and took the lead by exiting the cave. Kara gave that traitorous fountain one last look before following her outside. 

“We must look out for the Black Ghosts,” Red Daughter cautioned in a whisper as they walked through the trees. Her eyes were darting to every shadow, her steps and moves soundless like a cat.

“Black ghosts? You mean those black hooded figures that fly around like Dementors?”

Red Daughter motioned for her to lower her voice. She took another look around them before explaining, “Yes, they are always floating and chasing me down when I go too deep into the woods. They were the ones who told me that I am an Abomination.”

“Hey, don’t call yourself that! It’s bad enough they call you that!”

“You’re too kind but we both know that I am nothing but made of black Kryptonite.”

“That doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to live.”

Red Daughter nodded. Kara couldn’t see her face clearly in the dark but she sensed that she didn’t completely agree with her. 

“What is a De- Dementor?” Red Daughter asked then.

“You’re kidding, right?” Kara gasped. Red Daughter just shrugged and her obliviousness to that universal Harry Potter reference made Kara to mutter curses directed at Lex Luthor under her breath. 

They walked the next few minutes in silence, navigating their way, or at least Red Daughter was doing the navigating while Kara followed. They didn’t encounter any being, dead or alive.

“Can I ask you something?” Red Daughter unexpectedly asked in a quiet voice.

“Sure,” Kara replied.

“Why do you not visit your mother on Argo now that you know she is alive? Are you not happy that you have found her again after all this time?”

Kara didn’t expect her to ask about that. It was one of those unresolved issues she always avoided. She could never come up with a good answer even when she thought about it herself.

“You are afraid of facing her and your people again,” Red Daughter answered in Kara’s place insightfully, surprising Kara. “You feel guilty about all the times you thought ill of her and your father as you learned more about them and their mistakes.” Kara gaped at her and she continued, “And now you are afraid that you will not be accepted as a part of Krypton anymore after living on Earth for so long and choosing it as your home. You are afraid that what you would find on Argo will disappoint you just like the time before. And beyond all that, you never see it in yourself or allow yourself to even imagine achieving such happiness as to be reunited with your remaining family because you are afraid of losing them all over again.”

Kara felt warm tears prickling against her cheeks. Red Daughter had just revealed to her all the feelings she had been denying and putting off for over a year. She had seen right through Kara while no one else, not even Alex had been able to see it. “Y- yes… and I’m so scared of telling her about aunt Astra… she would be devastated if she finds out how she died and I don’t want to lie to her or hide the truth from her… She has lost so much already… I don’t want to be the one who adds more to her pain,” Kara added in a shaky voice through her tears.

“Kara,” Red Daughter called her name for the first time. “You are her only daughter. A daughter she assumed lost for years, and having you returned to her by nothing short of a miracle, will never be overshadowed by mistakes of your pasts or being the bearer of bad news. She loves you as you love her. You have fallen apart from each other, yes. You have both changed very much, true. But that doesn’t mean that you no longer care about each other, no matter the time and distance. You can learn each other anew and rebuild. You deserve that much. It’s not every day that you find back a lost loved one.”

“Since when did you get to be so thoughtful?” Kara quipped while wiping at her tears, trying to divert the overwhelming feelings caused by her words from swarming her entire being. She hadn’t felt this understood and inspired for such a long time. 

“Since I had so much time to think here all by myself as I regained your memories one after another,” Red Daughter replied. “And since someone recently taught me that hope prevails,” She added and smiled at Kara hesitantly. 

Once again silence fell over as they continued finding their way. Kara had no idea how long it had been since they had begun their journey, nor did she had any way to know how far they had come. Kara’s thoughts naturally wandered to Argo and her mother again after their heart-to-heart. She made up her mind to visit her as soon as possible, after handling this new situation and finding Mikhail.

The silence surrounding them grew a little uncomfortable and Kara decided that it was the best time ask Red Daughter about the things she had always wanted to know about her.

“Can I ask _you_ something?” Kara repeated her question.

She nodded.

“Why The Great Gatsby?”

She didn’t respond immediately but Kara waited patiently for her.

“It is just that the story, apart from the beautiful sceneries and the lush parties I can only dream of, tells so much about people…. and about love.” 

“I find the story rather tragic and not picturing very exemplary protagonists.”

“It does not, but everyone only sees the luxury and extravagancy. that is the surface. Life is not fair and people are not perfect.”

Kara was once again taken aback by the unique way she perceived things. “That’s very true. Hey, speaking of _luxury_ , what on Earth did you do in that night club!? All the gold and money bag-“

“I’m very sorry about that. That memory was too much to bear,” Red Daughter mumbled in embarrassment. “I had to do something!”

“By robbing them of their gold and cash?!”

“They are not for me,” Red Daughter explained and Kara was reminded of the list of names she had found on top of the money bag.

“Who are they for then?”

Red Daughter refused to answer that question as she kept looking at Kara meaningfully as though expecting her to know the answer and she tried to remember. Her mind drifted back to the traumatizing memory she had relived in the middle of the interview.

_That abused girl fleeing into the staircase…_

It became clear to her just whose names were on that list.

“You want me to…” Kara trailed off, unable to put it into words.

“I have to get them this money. They deserve it. They need it. They need it to get out of that hell!”

“But we don’t steal from people!”

“They aren’t people! They are greedy arm dealers who sell death and war to other countries!”

Kara looked away when the fire in Red Daughter’s eyes became too much to withhold. The truth of her words was bitterly undeniable.

“Maybe we can shut down the place. I’m sure if the police knew of the shady stuff going on in that place -”

“Nothing will ever be done to stop them. Don’t you know, they own the police. They own everything! They design the law to serve them while fooling you all with your taxes and insurance and an illusion of freedom with elections!”

“Well, it’s not like Kaznia is doing any better with their ways either!”

“I was never going to defend them... I know that now. I was blind back then but I would’ve never sided with them if I knew the truth,” She admitted in shame.

Kara sighed at this justification. She could not deny, nor accept it. She had arguments of her own but she had lost this discussion. Red Daughter might have been brainwashed against western capitalism and there were flaws to how firmly she believed in the fraud of politics, yet she wasn’t completely wrong. She was seeing it clearer herself after the new president had taken the office. The corruption and mislead that became more evident every day. The empty words, double standards and fake smiles for the camera. It was all just a dirty show.

“Okay,” Kara caved in even though a part of her knew this was wrong. She decided she would think more about it later and maybe find another way or a compromise to help those girls. She still firmly believed that the ends didn’t justify the means. She couldn’t turn into one of the criminals she captured herself. “Okay, we got off track,” Kara said, trying to bring back the conversation to what it was about in the beginning. “So, tell me more about what you think of the book?”

Red Daughter needed a moment to gather her thoughts. “Well, as I said, many only see the materialism and defects of the main characters but past all that I am so fascinated by what love makes people do, how far it pushes them to go and how long it can last! Like a candle burning for eternity,” She continued on, seemingly immersed in her praise for her most favorite book and that rapturous glint of life returned to her eyes.

“Yeah, love makes you do crazy things,” Kara agreed timidly.

“I know you speak from experience.”

“What do you mean?” Kara feigned ignorance with the small hope of avoiding the topic which she knew was coming up.

Red Daughter gave her an incredulous look and rolled her eyes. “And I thought I was in denial.”

“I- I just don’t want to talk about it,” Kara shook her head.

“Why? I’ve felt your constant struggle with your feelings. It gets annoying sometimes actually, like when you keep staring at that Legion Ring or read his scribbles in Romeo and Juliet over and over again for hours! You refuse to face the truth.”

“And what is the _truth_? That he’s moved on, that we lost our chance to be together but I still can’t stop imagining what it’d be like if he had never left?” Kara’s voice was shaking under the strain of her long suppressed emotions. Feelings she had kept hidden inside for months. Feelings that if unleashed, could tear her down, inside out.

“That you still love him.”

“Well of course, I do!” Kara almost shouted with fresh tears in her eyes. “And I will _never_ stop loving him!” She surprised even herself by the confession. Red Daughter was practically pilling her dead skins right off and knocking down her walls one by one.

“And that is the purest and most beautiful feeling,” She said and then gave Kara one the warmest smiles. One of admiration and sympathy.

“What’s the point? He has a Legion to lead and a _wife_ ,” Kara mumbled in a scratchy voice. “He’s clearly moved on.”

“You really are in denial, Kara! Have you forgotten about all that happened on Argo?”

“Nothing happened on Argo,” Kara dismissed immediately, fully aware of what she was talking about.

“Yes, it did. He literally told you that he hasn’t moved on! He too has feelings for you! And you were about to tell him that too if that goddamn robot hadn’t shown up! You wanted to kiss him!”

“No! That was just a...” Kara trailed off in irritation, lost for words momentarily, “I was just caught in the moment!”

“Look, I can’t even pretend to have ever felt something like you have, because I don’t know what it’s like to love someone the way you love Mon-El, but I’ve seen your memories of him. I’ve experienced them and they fill me with such sheer happiness and joy that I quiet effectively forget my miserable self. I can only imagine how crushing it is to lose all that and to be terrified of putting yourself out there again. To lay your heart wide open, to bare your soul only to be rejected for whatever reason, logical or not.”

“I just don’t think I’m meant to have it all,” Kara said in a defeated tone. A single tear broke loose from her right eye and dropped to the invisible pitch-black ground.

Red Daughter reached for her shoulder. It was strange being comforted and understood by her and at the same time, it felt so right and natural because she was _her_.

“Well, you think wrong. Everyone deserves happiness. Especially the ones who sacrifice everything for others without a care for themselves and at the cost of their own happiness.”

“I don’t want to be selfish when others need our help. I can’t stand the thought of keeping him here when people are in danger in the future.”

“You said it yourself, future, meaning it hasn’t even happened yet and won’t happen for at least a thousand years! And besides, he isn’t alone in the fight. He has a whole Legion of Superheroes!”

Kara gaped at her, trying hard to find a flaw in her argument. “But Imra-“

“From what it appeared to me, Mon-El said Imra was the one who asked him to find where his heart belongs to. You’ll never know until you ask. “

“I can’t be that selfish as to come between a married couple!”

“You aren’t selfish, Kara. Trust me. Selfish people would never call themselves selfish. And if I remember correctly, as a great woman once said; Happiness isn’t about what you do,”

“...it’s about who you love,” Kara completed in awe because Red Daughter had just quoted Cat Grant. Cat had told Kara the exact same words when she was having an inner battle about saving Mon-El and Lena from the Daxamite ship or let it be shot down from the sky as the President had commanded.

“I may never have experienced love or that rush, that longing I’ve read about in the books, but I know that love deserves a second chance.” 

A moment of silence fell over as neither had anything more to add. Kara’s head was so full of new and more hopeful voices for a change. Red Daughter had given her so much to think. Never had she imagined meeting another version of herself could result in what she could only describe as a therapy session. It was as if Red Daughter had known Kara all her life and now that she had regained her memories, maybe she did.

They resumed their track again after a distant wail forced them back to the reality of their surroundings. They needed to be on the move or they could be ambushed by the demons. 

“How much longer?” Kara asked after a while when the anticipation grew more intense.

Red Daughter stopped to inspect a boulder by touching the fractures on it as if she had memorized them as road signs. “We’re getting… close,” She assured.

Kara noticed then that she was panting and leaning her weight too much on the boulder, to the point her knees were trembling with the effort of keeping her upright.

“Hey, are- are you doing okay there?”

Red Daughter nodded nonchalantly, but was still catching her breath. “Yes…this way,” She pointed to their right and pushed back from her leverage, resuming guiding Kara through the darkness.

She walked slower and with more difficulty, worrying Kara. “Maybe we should stop and rest for a few minutes,” Kara suggested.

Red Daughter shook her head, stumbling over a tree root. “No, we mustn’t stop now. They should be close by.”

Kara immediately knew she meant the Black Ghosts. She tried to keep an eye for them as well. She hated those ugly shrieking hooded figures, who had scared the hell out of her on Fort Rozz once. With each passing moment, Red Daughter’s steps faltered more noticeably yet she never stopped moving forward. Kara had no idea what was happening with her. As she feared, it came to the point where Red Daughter tripped and fell to her knees. Kara rushed to her side, kneeling down to see how she could help.

“It always happens when I get near the border,” Red Daughter explained before Kara had the chance to ask.

Once again, she was using terms Kara didn’t understand. “The border?” 

Red Daughter nodded ahead of them. “I’m not allowed in this part of the realm,” She said with clenched shut eyes and a pained expression. Kara squinted through the darkness in the direction but could see no indications of a border or boundary of any kind. 

“And what happens when you cross the border?” Kara asked even though she had a bad feeling she already knew the answer.

“I suppose,” Red Daughter shrugged. “I will just vanish.”

“Then why didn’t you say so sooner!? I’d never want anything to happen to you!”

She chuckled humorlessly, “Everything has already happened to me. You don’t have to worry about that. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d refuse to accept my help and because if I had stayed back there long enough, if you hadn’t shown up when you did…” She trailed off.

“What?” Kara pressed when she didn’t continue.

“I would have turned into them,” Red Daughter looked at something ahead of them and Kara didn’t need to ask what because a loud shrill made her jump. A floating black figure was approaching them fast.

Kara ducked, pulling Red Daughter down with herself. Scrambling blindly in the darkness, she searched for anything that could be used to defend herself. Her fingers fastened around a rock and she didn’t hesitate to raise it, ready to take aim at the ghost which had disappeared.

“I don’t think they can harm you,” Red Daughter claimed from her place lying down on her stomach. She looked too weak to move.

Another scream made Kara turn around and see two ghosts charging at them this time. She threw the rock at them but had totally forgotten about the fact that they were ghosts and had no physical bodies. The projectile passed right through the first one as though it was made of thick smoke.

Kara braced herself in dread, leaning back towards Red Daughter who was defenseless on the ground. However, the ghosts came to a full stop right in front of Kara as though an invisible barrier was keeping them from touching her. Red Daughter was right but it didn’t mean that she still liked the ugly grotesque demons growling and hovering around her. Nevertheless, if this meant she could protect them both, then so be it. Reaching down, Kara helped Red Daughter to her feet.

“They want me, no you,” Red Daughter said weakly, tugging at Kara’s sleeve. “You can go, they won’t follow you. The fountain shouldn’t be far now.”

“No!” Kara held onto her arm around her shoulder tightly, refusing to leave her behind. “We are going together. Just tell me where this border is.”

Red Daughter seemed to want to protest but was feeling too faint to speak. They proceeded slowly as more ghosts gathered around. They all took their chances at attacking but failed every time as Kara’s presence stopped them from harming Red Daughter.

“We’re here,” Red Daughter spoke, raising a weak hand to point at something on the floor. Kara stopped and tried to ignore the loud complaining noises from behind them and tried to make out what Red Daughter was trying to show. There was a faint glowing wire a few steps ahead. It was the Border. Spotting another source of light farther in the back, Kara blinked a few times and recognized a fountain identical to its reversed twin. They were here. This was where Red Daughter could no longer accompany her. She was so torn.

“You must go,” Red Daughter said, sensing her indecision. She was close to collapsing from being so close to the border.

“But I can’t leave you here,” Kara protested. “They will get to you,” She nodded at the howling Smokey banshees behind them. They seemed to be aware of how close they were to get their hands on Red Daughter at last. Practically vibrating with excitement. Kara couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her to them.

“I- I deserve it… this is the only way I can make things right for once.”

“Don’t say that! You don’t deserve any of it!”

Red Daughter gathered the last of her energy and smiled at Kara. A moment hung before she said, “Go, find Mikhail,” she shoved Kara across the border with a burst of energy, effectively separating them from each other.

“NO!” Kara shouted, reaching for her but the transparent border didn’t allow her through anymore. She watched in horror as the Black Ghosts rained on Red Daughter like a whirlwind yet Red Daughter kept her eyes on Kara. “Tell him that I’m sorry for everything,” She said then with tears in her eyes, still smiling, and giving in to her dark fate.

“No!” Kara cried, pounding on the barrier between them ineffectively.

Kara forcefully took her eyes away from the scene before her and tried to find a way to help Red Daughter. She didn’t have much time. Her eyes landed on the Fountain of life and desperation lead to a crazy idea. Running towards it, Kara hastily cupped her hands, filling them with the gleaming liquid. She jogged back, only giving half a mind not to spill too much of it.

She splashed the water on the ghosts taking over Red Daughter without thinking. She was almost hopeless that the water would not cross the barrier but miraculously it did. At the touch of the life giving water, the ghosts screeched loudly but this time in pain instead of rage and indeed the water seemed to be burning through them as though the water had set them on fire with white flames. It took only another moment for them to fizzle out and the fog cleared to reveal an unconscious Red Daughter in its wake.

“Wake up!” Kara shouted at her and when she didn’t move, Kara sped back to the fountain, recharging her hands with the water and ran back to redo it all. The water was splashed across her face and torso and Kara watched the rippling bright liquid leaching into her chest.

Red Daughter woke up with a start, gasping for air. She sat up in shock, her eyes turning around in confusion until connected with Kara’s. “How is this possible?” She asked in disbelief.

“I used the water,” Kara motioned at the fountain behind her and watched Red Daughter’s eyes growing wider in awe.

“I… I feel different,” Red Daughter claimed as she stared at her slightly shaking hands. 

“How do you mean?”

“Strong… alive,” She remarked as she rose to her feet, walking boldly towards the borderline she added, “I wonder if…”

“don’t,” Kara cautioned fearfully but she stepped over the line, crossing it without any harm coming to her. Kara laughed loudly as did she and they embraced each other.

“Thank you for showing me the way,” Kara said, smiling at Red Daughter. 

“No, thank you, Kara,” She smiled back. “You didn’t have to do that, you know. You didn’t have to save me,” Her - now brighter - eyes dropped from Kara’s in humility. She genuinely did look alive now and that haunted look had finally dissipated from her face.

“Of course, I had to! What kind of a person would I be to just watch another die, again? I will never forget how you sacrificed yourself for me. Twice.”

Red Daughter nodded, “Yes, Supergirl stands for _Help, Hope and Compassion_ , after all.”

“No, not just Supergirl, _We_ stand for Help, Hope and Compassion,” Kara corrected.

Red Daughter’s eyes filled with tears. Tears of pride, acceptance and finally being forgiven. “Th- thank you,” She said again, stuttering from emotions. Her redemption was now complete.

Kara felt her own tears springing forward as she nodded. “I- I can’t describe how much your words affected me, about my mother, Argo and about Mon-El… how- how much they made me see everything clearer now. Thank you for helping me. No one has ever understood me the way you do.”

Red Daughter beamed. “I guess, as they say, we are _birds of a feather_.”

“You couldn’t have picked a more fitting saying to describe us,” Kara chuckled.

They walked the short distance to the fountain and stared at it wordlessly. 

“I guess this is it then, gotta wake up and face the music,” Kara joked to soften their goodbye.

“Yes, I guess this is it,” Red Daughter seemed a little upset but she was much better than Kara in hiding her feelings.

“I promise, I will find Mikhail. I know he’s out there.”

“I know you will. I have faith in you,” She nodded.

Kara nodded back and knelt down to fill her hands with the water. Waking up was not going to be easy considering what she feared she would have to face. There was no telling what exactly would happen when she drank from this water, but it was the right thing. 

“I hope I can see you again,” Kara told Red Daughter who was rendered speechless like she both wished the same and didn’t think it meant well for her to be back in that place with her.

“Good luck, Kara,” She said instead with a smile.

Kara smiled back and took a sip from the water. It tasted sweet and cool. She closed her eyes, waiting. For a few seconds, nothing happened but suddenly she started to feel dizzy and faint. 

“Wh… what is going on?” Kara slurred, feeling herself growing fainter by the second and her body started shaking.

Red Daughter sat down next to her, holding onto her shoulders. “It must be the Kryptonite!” Red Daughter exclaimed. 

Kara knew she was right. The sick feeling was familiar. She was regaining her consciousness and along with it, the pain that came with it now. Kara couldn’t hold herself up on her arms and slipped to the floor. Red Daughter caught her. 

“You must stay strong. I believe in you,” She tried to encourage Kara and her face was the last thing she saw before everything faded into darkness and more pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I don't have many notes on this chapter, but this was also the heart of this story and all the conversations between Red Daugther and Kara are the topics I feel the show lack in addressing. Something that makes the show a lot less about Kara... yeah, you get what I mean.
> 
> In other news, HUGE congrats to Melissa and Chris for becoming parents soon <3333 They radiate with joy and I can't be happier for them! #Superbaby is coming soon! I think I need to time to accept this reality, heck I hadn't even gotten over them being married! Phew!
> 
> Anyway, it was the best news in these otherwise dull, virus-filled days... Sorry, I'm very busy as I update this chapter. Honestly, I wasn't supposed to update with how much work I have but procrastinating is my middle name! LOL Anyway, I hope I can update in time next week. 
> 
> Stay safe and don't forget to wash your hands ;)


	10. Flare

* * *

_“Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

Miles outside National City, hovering above the bare flatlands, Kara’s rescue team aboard the Legion cruiser was searching for her secret location desperately. To the outsiders, the futuristic flying vehicle was undetectable owing to the ingenious cloaking mechanism protecting it from prying eyes and technology alike. There was no device advanced enough to pick their signal in this century.

A day after jailbreaking Alex, Brainy and Winn had finally found clues to Kara’s whereabouts by hacking into the DEO main servers thanks to Mon-El implanting the bug and allowing them temporary access. It had proved harder than they first believed, though. They had found transactions for some vehicles that had been used to transport “A Target” the same day as Kara’s abduction. It was too much of a coincidence and thus a promising lead.

Mon-El was standing in the commanding center of the ship, eyes glued to the scanning light blue holograms that showed activities or constructions in their one kilometer radius with high resolution. While others were in deep discussions over a possible plan and preparing, he was in his red and blue suit and apart from his eyes, not a single other muscle in his body was as much as twitching, resembling a statue. Legs apart and arms crossed tightly over his chest, the side of his thumb was touching the timid outline of the Kryptonian glyph sewn there, his symbol of hope and honor. The contour was defined but not filled, as if the right to use her family’s coat of arms was yet unearned to him – never having the chance or the courage to ask her for her consent - and it was as if something was misplaced from his heart there. Something he had long searched for yet never found in that dark future. Nothing even close. All of his heart belonged to the woman who had changed him inside out for good. The woman who had saved his soul and had given meaning and purpose to his life. A beacon of hope and goodness in this vast universe and everything he aspired to be.

A red dot started glowing among the 3D map. It was the van they had been tracking. Mon-El felt his heart racing even though he knew there was little chance Kara could there. He simply couldn’t help the increasing level of anxiety and anticipation in himself. 

“Brainy,” Mon-El called, but the ship was already adjusting its direction towards the red dot location. Everyone hurried towards their seats and strapped in, ready for landing.

The vehicle of interest was burned to a crisp and scrapped to cover any evidence. Someone – from Cadmus without a doubt – had gone to far lengths to make sure no one could trace their tracks, yet nothing was impossible for a genius and a twelfth level intellectual. Their tech and combined insight allowed them to reconstruct an intact model of the vehicle and went further to predict the size and weight of a second vehicle that had continued to transport Kara from there from the dust pattern at the site. It turned out to be a helicopter. The people behind this clearly had resources and had thought everything through.

As they got back on the ship with preoccupied thoughts – since tracking a helicopter could prove more difficult –Mon-El felt someone tapping on his shoulder. It was J’onn.

“Mon-El, are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, just worried,” Mon-El replied truthfully but tried to stand less stiff and look stronger than he really felt.

“Me too, but you have to trust that she’s strong,” J’onn encouraged and he nodded as they walked through the curved narrow hallway together. Despite the silence, Mon-El sensed the weight of it and that there was something on J’onn’s mind that he was about to share and he was only about to be proven right when J’onn stopped in his track, gesturing for him to do the same, letting others getting farther away from them.

“There is something I have grown suspicious of since the attack on me and Kara,” J’onn claimed with an uncharacteristically unnerved expression and the tone of his voice alone was enough to alarm Mon-El. He waited patiently for him to continue. J’onn reached into his pocket and picked out a small object. “This is one of the darts they shot at her.” The ugly green glow of the dart made Mon-El’s insides churn with anger and disgust because he knew what this substance did to Kara. He had seen first hand how much pain it brought her. Nevertheless, he still wasn’t seeing what J’onn meant by showing him this. 

“Is there something special about it?” Mon-El asked.

“I’m not completely sure, but when it happened, before they even started shooting, Kara collapsed and I sensed how intensified the effect was on her despite the small amount of Kryptonite in these. I could be wrong, maybe the combination of all the darts had such quick effect…” he trailed off, seeming rather conflicted.

Mon-El took the dart from his hand, regarding it with examining eyes by fighting his sense of revulsion. “Highly dense Kryptonite,” He mumbled to himself and suddenly it all clicked in his mind when he remembered working with such extra dosed Kryptonite the last time he was around to fight Reign. “You don’t mean-“ He gaped at J’onn, half expecting him to deny what he thought he was thinking. But he only looked sad now.

“Yes, I’m afraid there’s a chance that L-Corp is behind this,” J’onn said, strategically avoiding to name the owner of the corporation and his expression instantly returned to his default stoic emotionless one, as if to hide his feelings. “But it’s only an assumption. We have to look more into it. I came to you first because you are the leader of this mission and I trust your judgment, Mon-El. If you think this is a possible lead, then I will ask Alex to test the Kryptonite and if not, I will keep it to myself until we have no other option.”

Mon-El stared at J’onn in awe, stunned and humbled by the trust he was showing him and the fact he considered him as their leader. For a moment he was lost for words, but quickly he gathered his bearings and replied, “T- thank you for trusting me with this, J’onn, I truly appreciate it. It means a lot to me. I do think we need to look into this as soon as possible. I don’t believe this is the right time to turn a blind eye on a possible lead only because of our assumptions in someone’s innocence. I know Kara wouldn’t do this, as I know she has absolute faith in her friends even when they don’t extend her the same courtesy, but at this moment, I’m not willing to risk anything for her safety, or in this case, delaying her rescue.”

J’onn nodded at him in agreement. “Then I’ll take this to Alex right away,” He took back the dart from Mon-El and walked away with purpose.

Mon-El needed a moment to himself before following him. Now that he was alone for the first time since returning to the 21st century, he allowed himself to lean to the spotless wall of the ship, feeling its cool surface that had nothing to do with the chill that ran down his spine. This was one of his worst fears. For Kara to be betrayed by someone she trusted. They still didn’t know the truth, but he had a bad feeling and if he had learned anything through years of surviving on his own and leading people into fights, was that his gut usually spoke the truth, even if he were unwilling to accept it.

Another hour passed without them getting any closer to finding the secret Cadmus lab. Only an estimation for a location over an entire state. It could take them days before they could cover such area with acceptable accuracy. Alex was still working on the Kryptonite sample in the special investigative compartment of the cruiser. Something told Mon-El that she was taking it too long, maybe she didn’t like to think it could mean what he and J’onn suspected was true, maybe she was running the tests over and over again, just to make sure. Mon-El could partially understand, but the more time passed, the more time Kara was in the hands of her worst enemy, and the thinner his patience grew.

When he walked into the lab area for the fifth time, Alex sighed in annoyance.

“So?” Mon-El asked hoarsely. 

“I can’t find any kind of footprints that points it was synthetically made,” Alex said as she disposed of the sterile tissues she had on during the testing. 

“So, it wasn’t modified to be of high dosage like the ones we used to defeat Reign?” Mon-El was a little surprised by the result.

Alex shook her head, “No, it looks like the same as the kind DEO used before Superman took them away. It’s possible the army still has some stashed somewhere without our knowledge.”

“And who made those?”

“No one, they were extracted from the meteors that crashed on Earth.”

“Are you sure?” 

Alex frowned and for some reason looked rather offended by his doubt. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Mon-El regarded the sharp look in her eyes and knew that he was walking on eggshells now and had to choose his words more carefully. “I mean, is there any possibility that some of the Kryptonite came from another source?”

“Do you mean Lex Luthor?”

Mon-El nodded, “Doesn’t L-Corp still keep his Kryptonite?”

“Not since the DEO confiscated them. Lena then learned how to synthesize it, but she wouldn’t give Kryptonite to the government,” Alex shook her head.

“How certain are you about that?” He asked flatly in a quiet voice.

Alex pursed her lips. “Why would Lena supply the government with Kryptonite? She doesn’t trust them. She told us herself that many times!” 

Mon-El was fully aware of how defensive Alex looked but took a risk by saying, “The question you need to ask, Alex, is why she’s keeping and making more of it to begin with.”

She shook her head again, “No, she wouldn’t. She was just trying to fight Reign and defend herself.”

“Then why lie about it and keep it hidden?”

“You’re overthinking it! Kara trusts Lena!”

“We both know Kara can sometimes be too trusting for her own good, Alex!”

“This is not-“ Alex clenched her jaw, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to control her erupting emotions for a moment. “Lena is our friend. She wouldn’t betray Supergirl,” She firmly stated.

“And are you willing to bet Kara’s life on that?”

The daggers Alex sent his way with her glare told Mon-El that he had finally hit a raw nerve. She walked up to Mon-El with curled fingers and a dangerous look burning in her hazel eyes. For a human, she was very intimidating and dauntless to stand her ground against even the most powerful of aliens like this. 

“You dare to question my loyalty to Kara?” She asked with her voice slightly shaking with rage. “You dare to think I would put anything or anyone above Kara’s safety?!”

Mon-El instantly raised his hands, backing off. “Alex, calm down, no one is questioning you!”

“Then what the hell are you implying here? That I don’t care enough about finding Kara?!”

“I’m not-“ It was Mon-El’s turn to rub his forehead and needing a moment to find the right words. This conversation had gone terribly wrong. “This isn’t a competition or accusation, Alex. I just want to find her as fast as possible.”

“And you think I don’t want that?!” Her voice trembled slightly with hurt this time and he saw a ring of moisture framing her eyes. A rare sight.

“Of course not! I just don’t want to leave any stone unturned. I don’t want us to be blind sighted by emotions or assumptions at this moment.”

Alex stared him down for a few more seconds as though contemplating whether to deck him or not. Seemingly finding his statement somewhat acceptable, she walked away instead, turning her back to him. Mon-El knew she wasn’t doing alright since it had all happened. She was blaming herself again for everything. He remembered how Kara always worried about Alex taking all the burden on her own even though it wasn’t hers.

“Alex,” Mon-El approached her, desperate to fix this. “There are very few in this world who care about Kara as much as you do, maybe even more than I do,” He scoffed at himself. “I just- I want to be objective and logical here and look into any possible lead, even if it means questioning people, considered least likely to betray Kara. And let’s be honest with each other, Lena has always been walking on that blurry line.”

“I always wondered why your mother picked her to be the next queen,” Alex suddenly remarked as she turned to face him again. There was no sign of hurt in her face anymore.

“Me too,” Mon-El was surprised but scoffed.

“Everything’s alright here?” J’onn’s voice made them both turn to look at the doorway where he was standing. He must have heard their raised voices from earlier.

“Yes, we were just talking about the usual suspect,” Alex replied with a roll of her eyes which made Mon-El snort.

“Did you find anything unusual with the Kryptonite?” J’onn asked.

“No,” Alex exchanged a look with Mon-El before adding, “But we decided to look into L-Corp servers just to be sure.”

“I’ll tell Winn to get right to it then,” He said and left them promptly to bring the news to Winn.

An uncomfortable silence followed J’onn’s departure where neither seemed willing to disturb it. Alex busied herself with some of the lab equipment she had been using and putting things back where they belonged. Mon-El meanwhile tried to sort out his unruly thoughts by staring blankly at some monitors showing the molecular structure of the Kryptonite Alex had been working on. He wanted to say so much to Alex. They rarely ever had the chance to talk just the two of them and he hated that this one time it had actually happened, it had ended in them getting upset. He liked to believe that their bond was beyond their common affection for Kara, that they had other reasons to be friends or as he considered, family.

“I appreciate what you’re doing,” Alex’s quiet words stopped the train of his thoughts. He turned to see her still fiddling with a pair of tweezers, her eyes locked on them. “I know you care a lot about my sister, I never doubted that,” She continued as she finally rose her head to meet his surprised stare. “I can be selfish at times, and overprotective, because for the longest time I believed that no one could care about Kara as much as I do but things haven’t been the same since you came into her life. You could say I wasn’t ready for all the changes that happened both in Kara’s life and my own. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Neither was I,” Mon-El agreed as he scratched the back of his head. “But I haven’t been able to stick around much, have I?”

“No, but you still changed Kara, just like she changed you.”

“Alex, you have to know, no one will ever be able to take your place in Kara’s life, no matter what. She loves you, and not just because you look out for her, you’re her family,” He tried to assure Alex because he could see self-doubt in her eyes. 

She nodded, staring back at the tweezers again. “I know, but last year was pretty rough…” She trailed off. 

“I heard,” Mon-El vaguely knew about what had happened while they had been away from what Brainy and J’onn had told him. “But your bond is stronger than you think. It’ll get better. I know it will. And you aren’t alone, Alex. We’re all here to help. We’re going to get her back and figure things out with the other problem.”

Alex offered him a faint smile, “I gotta say, it’s nice having you back on the team, Mon-El.”

He nodded, returning the smile sheepishly. “Always happy to help.”

“Let’s go see what Winn can find,” Alex said, finally putting the tweezers away and headed for the exit. Mon-El hummed in agreement and followed her suit.

***

Kara opened her eyes with great difficulty through the pain that was determined to tear her from inside. She was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t react to it, couldn’t even scream against it. Instead, she took in her alien surroundings with a pounding heart and heavy short exhales. She was so sick of waking up in places she didn’t recognize.

The first thing she noticed was the white ceiling because she was lying down on something not that comfortable and the second thing she noticed was the fact that she couldn’t move since her limbs were strapped securely to the bed frame. She groaned through gritted teeth, pulling at her restraints and panicking when they didn’t break because it could only mean that she was weak and powerless. She pushed up as much as her restraints allowed and looked around. The room was small and her bed was the focal point of all sorts of weird looking medical and scientific equipment, the sight of which gave her more jitters. The wall right across from her was covered by a wide mirror that Kara had no doubt was a fake see-through one, resembling an interrogation room. She was full on panicking now because she had clear idea where she was. This wasn’t just a military detention facility. This was Cadmus and she was their new guinea pig. She soon felt the electrodes connected to her temples and chest, their wires leading her eyes to more devices she didn’t recognize and then there was the IV line that was lodged to her left elbow pit and injecting some sort of dark liquid into her veins. She felt dizzy.

Her awakening had set off some alarms and very soon two men wearing surgical masks entered the room in a flurry, one of them holding an ominous looking syringe that glowed green. As if she wasn’t already suffering enough from that poison. Kara glared at them sharply, fighting through the pain and doing anything she possibly could, just to stop them from putting more Kryptonite in her.

“STOP,” She yelled at them with the little stamina she had left. Keeping her dignity as much as she possibly could.

Neither men even seemed to have heard her as one of them pushed her shoulders back harshly and held her down by force as the other got the syringe ready.

“Don’t do this,” Kara pleaded, not ready for more pain.

He was about to inject her when something strange happened, stemming from inside her chest where her heart was. A burning sensation, abrupt and intense, bloomed from there and spread fast like wildfire until it took over her entire body. At first, it frightened her deeply but instantly, the sharp heat washed the pain from her as though pouring water on the fire and for the first time, Kara realized how cold she had been feeling the whole time. The man still tried to inject her, unaware of the changes that had just occurred through her body and the needle broke in half at the touch to her once again impervious skin. The look of surprise on his face mirrored Kara’s because she was immune to Kryptonite now and neither had expected that.

Her relief, however, was short lived when the heat inside her didn’t stop blazing further, it felt as though her body was trying to burst from inside, as though she was going supernova. Kara screamed as power from inside her was erupting, tearing her restraints and her eyes started to glow dangerously crimson and purple. She needed to release this maniac surge or she would implode. She couldn’t see anything anymore.

***

Mon-El was fighting the urge to sleep. He had been awake for almost two days now but he couldn’t afford to rest now. He needed to be awake and vigilant of what was happening all the time while others were sleeping. It was early hours in the morning and the sky was still dark. He wasn’t sure but the sun probably wasn’t going rise for another hour or two. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and stifled a yawn as he stared at the displays Brainy was sitting in front of. Winn was passed out on his keyboard not that far in a not so comfortable position. His hand was still in the last position he had been trying to type something. It wasn’t the first time Mon-El had found him like that. Brainy, on the other hand, was wide awake and still working like the robot he was. Unlike Winn, he didn’t need to type, he was connected to the ship’s computer with his mind and was just sitting there with his hands perfectly still and processing everything invisibly. They had been racking through L-Corp data, as much as they had access, but so far nothing had come up.

“You need to rest,” Brainy stated without stopping what he was doing. Multi-tasking was his thing.

“I can’t,” Mon-El said.

“You can, but you don’t want to,” Brainy corrected him. That was his thing too. “I will call as soon as I find anything.”

“I know, but I just can’t fall asleep like this,” He explained and Brainy didn’t push him further. Perks of having a robot as a friend, they didn’t do argues.

A few minutes passed and Mon-El felt himself unwillingly dozing off in his chair. It was impossible to resist it, but suddenly a beeping sound made him jolt awake. Another screen was glowing and warning them of something. It was the ground scanner. It had picked up a signal.

“One of the satellites is picking up an unusual heat signature from an underground source, 32.56 miles in the east,” Brainy reported and walked towards the monitor with a frown. Mon-El copied him while Winn followed them with bleary slightly confused eyes.

“What is it?” He asked when Brainy remained silent.

“It seems to contain a distinct solar energy footprint.”

“It’s her,” Mon-El’s heartbeat spiked.

Within minutes, everyone was up and flurrying around to get ready. Once again that dark feeling was settled back in his stomach but he didn’t speak of it with anyone. Something was wrong. This wasn’t normal.

The Legion Cruiser hovered over the location. Nothing was distinguishable with human eyes on the ground but their detectors showed them the exterior of a hidden underground facility. They had found Cadmus.

“The solar radiation is intensifying,” Alex remarked as she watched the monitor. The look of worry in her eyes was evident enough to tell Mon-El that she felt as distressed as he felt about this.

“The interior is undetectable,” Brainy said with a shake of his head. “The exterior is made of Nth metal.”

“Then how do we get in?” J’onn questioned. He had been standing in one place silently so far, watching and thinking.

“We have a plasma gun, it can cut through literally anything!” Winn answered enthusiastically and hurried away to get the mentioned weapon.

It was all shaping up well, only they had no idea what they were facing inside this place. According to Brainy, he couldn’t even sense a network from inside the place, meaning he had no means to get connected to the place. The facility was literally a fortress.

Mon-El watched Alex taking the gun from Winn, listening to him explaining how it worked. Brainy then handed him a small familiar electronic. It was identical to the one he had smuggled into DEO not long ago. He knew what it was. Insert it into any computer and Brainy would take over their network.

It wasn’t long before the ship was landed in a safe distance from the Cadmus base and Mon-El set foot outside, followed by J’onn and Alex. The trio marched forward boldly. Mon-El took only a brief moment to notice that the horizon had turned deep blue. The same shade as Kara’s eyes when she was sad.

“Guys, you might wanna hurry, this solar radiation is getting crazy by the second,” Winn’s voice made them all adding to their pace until they reached a seemingly normal spot on the dirt.

Alex stepped forward, balancing the Plasma Ray on her arms and getting familiar with its weight, “You might wanna step back for this part,” She cautioned them and they obeyed. As soon as she pulled the trigger, a golden beam was projected onto the ground and cut it through soundlessly. The earth started to shake under their feet and a moment later, a clean-cut hole was made and Alex turned off the gun. Suddenly it looked much darker. They didn’t waste time to slip inside one after the other. Mon-El went in first followed by Alex and J’onn.

The room was empty except for some beds and surgical tools. Just looking at him made that pit in his stomach feel even heavier and darker. He took the lead again and went straight for the exit. They couldn’t know what or who was beyond that door, but even before turning it open, they all heard the loud gut-wrenching scream echoing through every corner of that God forsaken place.

“Kara!” Mon-El and Alex cried at the same time.

There was no plan, nothing thought through at this point. They just bolted into the hallway, desperate to find and put an end to the torture. It wasn’t hard to locate the source of her scream despite what they anticipated because everyone was running away from it. Guards and staff in lab coats or suits seemed too afraid to even notice the strangers among them. Mon-El felt the heatwave flowing through the air growing stronger and stronger. Alex was the first to get affected by it among them. She slowed, panting and grabbing at her chest at the lack of air. She couldn’t stand it at some point. Sweat beads were rolling down her face one after another.

“Go!” Alex shouted when Mon-El hesitated. “Save her,” She added and Mon-El nodded after exchanging a look with the Martian and handed him Brainy’s infiltration device.

Mon-El broke into a run through the ominous hallways, heaving against the heat that soon could be high enough to melt everything if it continued. Kara screamed again and his heart ached for her. He turned around a corner and saw the light glowing from a destroyed wall. It was two parallel purple laser beams. It had to be her heat vision, but the color was wrong.

“KARA!” He called her as he approached the room, an arm protecting his eyes from the blinding light. The air molecules were crackling loudly and sizzling with the potent electricity in the atmosphere. He took refuge behind the still standing wall beside the opening, coughing and grabbing at his throat. There was almost no oxygen left in the air. She never answered, but the heat vision stopped, followed by a whimper and only then he dared to peek inside. Smoke was heavily fogging the place. He squinted through it while stepping inside carefully. He was in some sort of control room with deformed displays and across him was another big melted hole that gave him a clear view to a second room where a lone figure was vaguely visible. 

“Kara?”

“P- please,” She said with a barely stifled sob. “Go away.” 

Mon-El’s heart broke when he found her on her knees on the fractured floor, shaking violently and covering her eyes with both hands to force stop her heat vision. She was wearing a flimsy white gown and her golden locks were knotted and wild. Her lips trembled. 

“Kara?” He called again softly this time, reaching for her. The air around her was rippling and crackling with purple electrical bolts, resembling a halo. Nothing about this looked natural to him.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” She shouted and refused to open her eyes. “Please leave now!”

Mon-El knew she hadn’t recognized his voice through this frenzy and his heart went to her because, after everything, she was still worried about the wellbeing of her enemies. Through the smoke, he spotted a motionless body in the room. A man wearing a white lab coat. He couldn’t hear his heartbeat.

“I need to flare…” She mumbled, her breathing quickened and muscles quacking with uncontrollable strength. “I need to flare,” she repeated with more determination for the second time.

Mon-El couldn’t stand on his feet anymore as the heat in the room started to peak up even further and lack of air was taking its toll on him. Normally his Legion Ring would protect him but the dangerously volatile and high purple current in the air was messing with the technology. He knew what Kara meant by flaring. She wanted to use all her power until her every last cell was depleted. He had seen it firsthand that one time she had flared in Cadmus to save his life. So that Lillian Luthor wouldn’t put a lead bullet in his heart. “No, Kara, don’t,” He weakly objected, because if she lost her powers, this place could become too dangerous for her. He was too afraid to think of what could happen. With difficulty, he finally got close enough to touch her shoulders and withdrew immediately because they were so hot as though she was on fire. She radiated heat like the surface of the sun. She was a star before collapsing into molten light beams.

“LEAVE NOW!” Kara shouted and pushed him away with too much power that sent him flying away and breaking into at least four walls before coming to a full stop, far away from her.

“KARA, NO!” He screamed but Kara was already flaring, his weak voice covered by her loud shriek.

It was almost like an explosion and it lasted as long as Kara’s scream could be heard. The walls came crumbling down and the floor shook as Kara expelled the last traces of her powers from her cells. He got buried under a pile of rubble that poured down on him yet he was fine. He had his Daxamite genes to be thankful for that. When he couldn’t hear her cry anymore and the destruction stopped, he pushed up and had to blink a few times because he could see the sky. Pale blue and fresh in a way that said it was dawn. It took another second to hit him that he could see this because Kara’s flare had incinerated the roof completely. He thanked Rao for that since now he could easily breathe and the heatwave was gone.

“Kara!?” Mon-El shouted with a scratchy voice since his throat was clogged with dust from the rubble. He struggled with the debris and tried to locate her. It was easy enough though, considering the fact that where she was lying unmoving, nothing had remained in existence, only ashes in its wake. Even the gown she had been wearing was burnt off completely, leaving her bare. She was steaming, like a candle blown out. Some random weak purple sparks were still visible in her vicinity. 

Mon-El stumbled towards her, fearing the worst. Every muscle in his body shook as he regarded her utterly exposed position laid on her side and folded in a fetal position. He might have been the only person who had been graced with Kara’s most intimate expression of love, had seen and been trusted with her absolute vulnerability and nakedness in those shared euphoric moments, but in none such occasions had he felt this scared for her. It was the opposite of all his cherished memories of their time together.

He hurriedly unclasped his blue cape and covered Kara with it carefully before kneeling down. Gently nudging Kara into his shaking arms, Mon-El caressed her face. Her eyes were closed but he saw the shivers running down her body. “Kara?” He called again even though he didn’t expect her to answer, but to his surprise, she cracked her eyes open for the first time, just a slit, letting him catch a glimpse of those ethereal blue orbs that had stolen his heart, albeit unfocused and dazed. She wasn’t really conscious in that moment, but they locked with his tearful stormy ones for a moment before closing shut again. He couldn’t stop shuddering along with her and only hugged her closer to his chest and buried his face into her hair, listening intently to her slow heartbeats.

* * *

_“A stirring warmth flowed from her, as if her heart was trying to come out to you concealed in one of those breathless, thrilling words.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be my favorite chapter to write in this story so far. It came to me so fast fluently, possibly because I love action scenes more than anything XD But yes it was an intense chapter and I understand if you feel stressed out by it! At least it's over now and Kara is safe. Looking forward to knowing your thughts on this chapter and also the Lena part ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading and all the comments on each chapter. Your support means the world to me. I'm not sure if I update in the next two weeks as I am under some pressure to write my thesis and it's a LOT of work and I haven't been writing much lately so the final chapters aren't still ready so I might need some time to catch up while working on my thesis. Good thing is that all these self quarantines across the world, even though abnormal, will allow me to work from home and perhaps will be able to get work done without interruptions.
> 
> Cheers and stay safe everyone.


	11. Shadow of The Truth

* * *

_“_ _He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

She could still hear the echo of that voice calling her name over and over, with such yearning, such desperation, that her incapability to answer it was gnawing at her insides. The voice was familiar yet she failed to recognize who it belonged to, her mind too distant to remember. Then her name was repeated by other voices. A replaying murmur, like a mantra, accompanying her through her slumber. It felt safe. It felt warm. It felt like home.

Soon her mind was trapped in a purgatory between realms of wakefulness and unconsciousness for the longest time and she drifted in between them, unable to lean towards any for more than a brief touch. She was in a dreamless sleep. No other voice could be heard this time, not even Red Daughter’s. Their connection seemed to have ceased to exist and that made her feel lost. If only she could somehow find her way out. She was just too tired to try. She couldn’t even summon the strength to remember why she was in such a state, to begin with.

After an eternity – or at least what seemed like an eternity since she had lost the conception of time in that limbo – something stirred, her senses shifting and awakening. She could feel her body again, the caress of air on her skin, could feel gravity pulling her mass down as though descending on a planet and getting captured in its orbit. She felt heavy, too heavy. It was a slight irritation since she normally didn’t feel that way. Gravity was never a match for her gifts. Regardless she welcomed the feeling that was contrary to the void she had just escaped.

Her eyes fluttered open, too perplexed and incomprehensive. Her brain was too slow to follow the stream of light and visions. She remained that way, puzzled and not really awake for minutes in a row until gradually every object began to find meaning.

She struggled to sit, needing to see more of her surroundings. It was bright and smooth and painfully nostalgic, like a distant memory from her childhood. The familiar figurines on the shelf. The bedsheet’s softness brushing against her fingertips, the jar on her bedside filled with fresh pink Dar-Essa blossoms. and the wide one-piece window that allowed a generous amount of sunlight into the place and a spectacular view of the skyscrapers. It dawned on her then.

Kara was in her room on Argo.

“Mom,” The word rolled on her tongue, on its own, quietly and raspy. Her throat was beyond dry and her breaths shortened in length as her heartbeats quickened. “Mom!” She repeated louder this time and shuffled to get out of bed, even though every inch of her body ached in protest. Fast footsteps, however, stopped her motions and very soon a figure in light blue appeared in the doorway.

“Kara, you’re awake!” Alura gasped with thrill and hurried towards her, engulfing her affectionately.

“Mom,” Kara was too delighted and overcome with emotions to speak any further and broke into tears in her mother’s embrace, soaking in her fragrant scent and her familiar touch caressing her hair. It wasn't until that moment that she realized how awfully she had been missing her mother the entire time.

When Kara finally calmed down, she pulled away slightly to look at Alura’s face, disbelief still written across her face and laced through her voice as she finally spoke, “Mom, how- how am I here? I thought…” She trailed off, struggling to remember where she had been before falling unconscious. 

Alura’s own eyes were filled with unshed tears. Tears of joy, tears of love, tears of concern. She was about to answer when another set of footsteps, followed by a call, interrupted. 

“Kara!” Alex rushed to their side, grasping the hand that wasn’t taken by Alura.

“Alex?” Kara intertwined their fingers and was surprised by how firm her hold was because she could never feel her sister’s touch, not like this with her powers. Nevertheless, tears welled up in her eyes once again with elation to be surrounded by her closest loved ones in one place. In her true home, no less.

“I’m right here,” Alex brushed her thumb across the back of her hand. “You’re ok, you’re safe,” She assured, before putting a quick kiss on her temple. 

“What happened? How am I here?” Kara asked and seeing Alex’s look of confusion, she realized that She had been too gripped by the moment that she had spoken in Kryptonese.

Alura, unlike Alex, had perfectly understood her and responded in English so everyone could follow, “You solar flared and your friends brought you here to heal.”

“I… I don’t remember,” Kara shook her head and suddenly her sheer happiness was replaced by paranoia. This, being here, being this happy and lucky, was too good to be true in her book. It didn’t feel right, especially in the absence of her memory. This was familiar in a way that she had already experienced once before. This was too much like that other time she had been taken over by a parasite known as Black Mercy. A diabolical creature that ingested her life force by turning her heart’s desires into a deathly trap. And just like that time before, this was the perfect scheme of giving her what she most wanted to keep her induced. Her heart started beating erratically. Looking suspiciously between the two women staring at her lovingly with a shade of concern, Kara tried to recognize that fakeness, that ideally coated deceit luring her to yield and forget. She found none.

“Kara, what’s wrong?” Alura held onto her arm, noticing her tenseness.

“I- I can’t remember… how do I know this is real?” She said in a broken voice, feeling betrayed by her own mind.

While Alura was baffled by Kara’s words, Alex immediately got the meaning behind them. “No, no, no. Kara, listen to me, this is not just some illusion. This isn’t Black Mercy, Kara. Believe me,” She held Kara’s stare firmly as she spoke in clear, certain words. “I know this is hard for you, because you’ve been through so much in the past few days, but please can you try and remember? For me?”

“I can’t, I’m scared,” Kara admitted, feeling too weak and vulnerable.

“You’re safe, everything is alright,” Alura shushed, leaning Kara’s head gently to her chest.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Alex coaxed. 

Kara looked into Alex’s warm hazel eyes, pushing herself to recall against the throbbing headache, just for anything in her mind to make sense. “I was feeling too hot… It was unbearable… It was suffocating.” Incoherent images flashed across her mind, leaving her disturbed and stressed. 

“Maybe we should let her rest more for now?” Alura intervened, worried how distressed her daughter was.

Kara just then remembered another important thing. “Red Daughter…” She mumbled.

“Who?” Alura asked and Alex’s eyes turned a little more concerned. 

Kara couldn’t explain due to the whirlwind of memories that broke into her mind of her time in that dark place and the truth she had uncovered and the promise she had made. “Mikhail is alive!”

“Kara, what-”

“Alex, I saw her! She’s trapped in the valley of Jeru. She was there,” Kara explained with newfound energy, but all of a sudden, she recalled all that had happened right before her adventures with Red Daughter. She had been taken down with Kryptonite by the army and melancholy filled her mind. What if they had somehow put her under a Black Mercy to extract her secrets by compelling her to talk to the people she trusted the most? That was just pure evil, using her most trusted loved ones against her.

“What did she say?” Alex asked curiously when Kara strangely fell silent.

“I can’t remember anymore,” She lied.

Alex regarded her anxiously, clearly noticing her abrupt withdrawal from the conversation, “That’s alright, we can talk later. You need to rest more.” 

“I’m not tired,” Kara lied again. Anyone with two eyes could see how she was barely holding herself up, leaning to her mother’s solid figure for support. Before Kara could justify her bluff though, Kalex floated inside with that familiar whirring sound, carrying a cup.

Alura took it from him and offered it to Kara, “Here, this will help you sleep.”

“I don’t like medicine,” Kara made a face.

“You haven’t changed the slightest,” A kind smile covered Alura’s face, unaware of Kara’s rapidly beating, fearful heartbeats.

When Kara resisted, Alex insisted, “You are clearly stressed, come on now, it’s just something to help you relax. You need to rest.”

Kara’s eyes darted between the two women towering over her and conceded with a sigh because she was really tired and because being in that place with her family this close felt too ensuring even if they weren’t real. On the other hand, what did she have to lose by sleeping more? That way she didn’t have to talk or unwantedly reveal her secrets either. 

She took a careful sip from the cup to test its taste. It wasn’t as bad as she had expected. It was actually sweet like strawberries.

She didn’t even finish half of the cup before her eyes became droopy and asleep engulfed her. She did, however, still feel her mother’s lips brushing against her forehead.

***

Mon-El watched Alex and Alura emerge from Kara’s room and his heart dropped at the sight of their matching brooding expressions. They were speaking in a low and serious tone and stopped when they saw him standing in the living room area.

“How is she?” Mon-El asked wearily. The grey of his eyes was hollow and surrounded by a grim shadow that was a direct result of being gravely sleep deprived. He hadn’t been able to even close his eyes in the past few days since saving Kara from Cadmus, not until he was absolutely sure she was safe and out of the woods.

“She’s doing better,” Alura said and glanced at Alex before adding, “Physically.”

Mon-El’s brows knotted, waiting for more explanation. He looked over to Alex, on the verge of panic now. “She is very confused and suffers from loss of short-term memory which is understandable considering the trauma she has gone through,” Alex claimed. “She didn’t believe any of this was real,” She continued in a defeated manner.

“What?” Now he was panicking.

“She thought this,” she gestured at the room and then at herself and Alura, “and us, are Black Mercy.”

Mon-El facepalmed with a tired sigh, his heart shattering into thousands of pieces all over again. He looked at the troubled looking women in front of her. Alura was silent and somber. She was evidently very worried about her daughter as they all were. “She just needs more rest, I’m sure she will soon see that this isn’t just some illusion,” She tried to insert some hope into their spirits. Like mother, like daughter, Mon-El thought.

“Yes, she just needs more time,” Mon-El nodded and they decided to wait for Kara’s full recovery before jumping to conclusions and desperation.

They each then headed towards different directions after the conversation ended and Mon-El found himself in Kara’s room, staring at her peacefully sleeping form. He didn’t dare to go too close to her bed and kept on watching her from his place leaned to the wall next to the door.

His gaze glided over her soft features, bright loose curls, the limp hand that was laid on the pillow next to her face, to the delicate ebbs and flows of her breathing. He tried to let her resting image calm the raging storm inside him. The storm that had begun the moment Brainy had called them in the future and had led them now to Argo.

His mind drifted to all that had unfolded in the previous days and how everything had turned upside down, out of control and spiraling maniacally, resembling a train without brakes, speeding towards an unguarded cliff edge. He couldn’t help but sigh loudly and turned his eyes upwards, to the ceiling.

After carrying Kara carefully to the Legion Cruiser’s medical section in that fragile state and still shuddering, Mon-El found Alex and J’onn both unharmed. They hadn’t been able to do much with the wreckage Kara’s flare had caused but they had found Kara’s cape. That was the only part of her suit they had been able to recover. Winn told them that a lot of the staff had fled the scene, yet remained vague about the inevitable casualty, because like Mon-El, he too knew Kara would be devastated to hear she somehow, no matter how unwantedly, had hurt people. Even if they had been the reason behind it.

They had stayed there for a few hours, as long as they could, trying to find survivors or perhaps other unfortunate alien prisoners from the facility. There were none, however. It seemed the place was brand new and had only begun operating. In the end - and to Mon-El’s absolute astonishment – they only found two hatchling Daxamite dragons that seemed to have been subjected to some experiments. They were very rare and assumed extinct species after the destruction of the planet. Instantly, he had taken them to Brainy to check them over for any harm. He couldn’t believe he had found them there of all places.

They soon had taken off and aimed for The Fortress of Solitude, planning to take Kara to the sanctuary that provided the best support for her Kryptonian physiology, considering that was its purpose. A quick checkup with the Legion’s medical technology had shown them that Kara’s system was flooded with Black Kryptonite and if she regained her powers, the reaction would unstable her organs all over again and thus a need to flare once more if she was exposed to yellow sunlight. She needed to remain powerless until the unnatural substance was cleared from her blood.

They were close to Antarctica when Winn had yelped and shown them the strange activities going on inside that Kryptonian crystal construction caught on their scanners. The Fortress was compromised and no longer an option. They didn’t know why then but soon enough, the news broadcast on the displays gave them an inkling of what could have been the reason behind strangers roaming in the Fortress.

Mon-El still remembered the mutual shock they had all experienced as the words they read and heard sank in - as much as it was possible anyway in such a short amount of time. 

_“Kara Danvers is Supergirl!”_

All the media platforms were transmitting, yelling, sharing and exploding with the breaking news. It was quite extraordinary how it was spreading and growing louder and magnifying like an avalanche.

It became clear very soon that planet Earth was no longer safe for Kara – and the people who knew her – thus after making a very short stop to pick up Eliza, they headed for the only other place in this universe that was considered Kara’s home. Argo. It also had the benefit that Kara wouldn’t have her powers there and would allow her system to be flushed from Black Kryptonite on her own time without worrying about overstimulation.

They had landed on the outskirts of Argo and were shortly greeted by Alura who had been so delighted to meet her daughter again, only for Mon-El to crush the mother’s hopes by telling her that her daughter wasn’t feeling well and replacing her smile with a fearful expression. She had, nevertheless, preserved her composed and graceful demeanor and let them all take refuge in her household, helping them settle Kara in her bedroom, before making sure they all had what they needed.

That had been almost three days ago and Mon-El still hadn’t been able to relax even a notch. Normally, the solar radiation helped with the fatigue, recharging him and giving him enough energy to go on for long periods without much rest, but since landing on Argo, his powers weren’t active and all the tiredness was catching up to him to the point of collapsing.

“You should rest too,” Alura’s soft voice pulled him out of his troubling thoughts unexpectedly.

Mon-El turned to see her standing in the doorway and immediately tried to stand straighter and look less broken in front of Kara’s mother. “I- I’m alright.”

Alura smiled at him as though she found his stubbornness rather endearing. “You don’t need to worry about her all the time. She’s strong. She will pull through like she always does,” She said and walked over to the bed and unwrinkled a part of Kara’s blanket that had gotten folded, making sure she was completely covered and comfortable before stroking her hair softly.

Mon-El nodded, “I know, she’s the one who taught me how to be strong and hopeful,” His voice was barely above a whisper due to the knot in his throat.

Alura turned to him and in her eyes, Mon-El could see the many questions she had regarding what he had just said, underlying the look of her deepest pride for Kara. “Not just you, she has taught that to us all,” She said, bringing a genuine smile to his lips after the longest time. She nodded and moved past Mon-El to step outside but when he didn’t follow, she stopped. “Come now, you’ve barely eaten or slept in days. You haven’t even changed out of your suit. I’m sure Kara wouldn’t be happy if she knew how much you’ve been punishing yourself for what wasn’t your fault.”

Mon-El was rendered speechless momentarily, but before he could respond, Kalex swiped inside unannounced, making him flinch slightly.

Seeing his hesitation, Alura said, “Kalex will watch over her and tell us if something changes.”

“I don’t trust robots,” He mumbled.

“Yes, I can imagine since the last time you saw one of them, it tried to kill you,” Alura referred to that disastrous encounter in the Argo Botanical Garden when he opened up to Kara and she was about to say something, he could swear it, but that thing ruined the moment.

“Yeah, I don’t have the best of experience with them,” He agreed. In reality, his answer also encompassed all his brutal and ugly memories of fighting with Brainiac’s lifeless pawns.

“You don’t need to worry. This Kalex is loyal only to the house of El. She is protected here,” She motioned for Mon-El until he relinquished and accepted to accompany Alura as they walked towards the dining area. Others had already eaten, therefore it was only the two of them in the room. 

Mon-El timidly took a seat on one of the empty chairs at the table, feeling a little awkward to be alone with Kara’s mother for the first time. Alura, on the other side, seemed quite indifferent as she prepared a meal for them.

“I feel like I’ve failed her,” He suddenly said without really meaning to, his throat throbbing with emotions he had been keeping subdued for far longer than he realized. He studiously stared down at his fidgeting cold fingers on the table.

“How have you failed her? You saved her.” 

“There wasn’t much of saving,” He shook his head at himself. “I should’ve been here to prevent it.”

“You can’t be everywhere at all times, you have your own responsibilities, as does Kara. You shouldn’t feel guilty about the things that happened. It wasn’t your fault,” Alura responded as she put a plate of warm food in front of him. The sincerity of her words made him look up in awe. Of all people, he had expected Kara’s mother to be the most disappointed in him for not being there for her daughter.

“You should eat, it will make you feel better,” She urged and handed him some utensils and took a place right across from him.

They ate without any interruptions and in silence. The food was simple and unpretentious – considering the limited agriculture supplies they had preserved on Argo – unlike any dish he was used to being served with in the Daxam’s royal palace, many lifetimes ago. The memory was so distant in his mind, as though it belonged to someone else entirely and maybe it truly did, because he no longer was that man. No, he hadn’t been that person for a long time.

“I must say, you are very different from how all those tabloids pictured you as the prince of Daxam,” Alura said as soon as he was finished with the meal, surprising him slightly. Only slightly since he had been expecting such questions from Alura from the very beginning. She at least had the decency not to refer to him as the “Frat Boy of the Universe”, but he knew perfectly well what those tabloids said about him and to this day he was ashamed of it.

“Ehm, well, I’m not that person anymore,” Mon-El settled with claiming his change instead of going any deeper into who he once was and could never erase.

Alura took in a deep breath, looking out of one of the windows for a moment, as though lost in a dark memory. “Yes, I suppose we all have changed, haven’t we?” She turned to give her full attention back to Mon-El. “The end of the world tends to do that to you.”

“It wasn’t just that…” Mon-El trailed off for a second as he helped Alura collect their empty dishes. “For me, it was more because of Kara. She changed me. She gave me a new life, a purpose.” And _true love_ , he didn’t dare say out loud. “It was fate,” He said instead.

“Rao has plans for us each and yours was to be put in Kara’s path,” Alura claimed insightfully and their conversation paused for a minute as she poured them a hot beverage in empty cups and took her seat back. “You speak Kryptonese very fluently,” She remarked, because they had been conversing in Kryptonian the entire time. 

“I had very good teachers,” He explained before adding, “Besides, Kara and I often spoke in Kryptonese when we weren’t in the public. It was very helpful at first since I wasn’t that familiar with English and then simply because it felt less foreign to us,” For a moment he felt as if he was sharing too much. He had absolutely no idea what Kara had told her mother about their history or the nature of their relationship. He always feared that he was making things worse somehow, thus never knowing how much talking about it was considered safe.

Alura – to his relief – smiled, “That must have been nice. Kara has been away from home far too long. It’s a good thing she has someone like you to talk to, someone who actually knows about Krypton. I’m afraid her cousin can’t fill that role since he was just a baby when he was sent away. He is more of an Earthling than a Kryptonian.”

“Yes, I suppose,” He politely agreed. Kara always complained about how Clark could never relate to her and his Kryptonese sounded a bit off because he barely ever spoke it.

Another quiet moment ensued as the duo sipped on their hot drinks, herbal teas from a purple flower he had no idea about. Mon-El had never tasted anything like it, but he came to like it instantly. Alura was right, having a full belly had made him feel a lot better and far more relaxed. He found himself even enjoying this nice chat with Alura.

“May I ask you something?” Alura asked with a hesitant look in her eyes.

“Of course,” He replied instantly, unsure what this was about.

“I couldn’t help but notice that the last time you two were here, you were wearing a necklace,” She said and he instinctively reached to touch the necklace he was still wearing, tucked securely under his suit. Alura didn’t miss the move. “That is the necklace I gave Kara, correct?”

“Yes,” Mon-El gulped, thinking he had somehow insulted her and felt the need to explain himself fast. “Kara gave it to me when I had to leave Earth. She said that it will keep me safe, that as long as I have it, I won’t feel-“

“Alone,” Alura completed.

Mon-El nodded and pulled out the chain from his neck, revealing the blue tear-shaped pendant. Sensing the longing in Alura’s stare, he took the necklace off and offered it to its original owner.

Alura held the necklace in her palm with admiration, following its outlines with her touch as though reminiscing. “This jewel has been in my family for generations. The crystal was said to be carved from a sacred mountain on Krypton, crafted by one of Rao’s chosen high priests. It was claimed that the crystal can absorb the consciousness of its holder, their wisdom, memories, and their thoughts and connect the members of the house through time and space.”

Mon-El listened to her intently, his own thoughts drifting to those uncharacteristically vivid and meaningful dreams he used to have of Kara during the first seven years apart. They each had felt so special as if she had been really there with him in those brief blissful moments. He never had any explanation for them, except for his own lonely heart and over imaginative mind, however, remembering that Kara also had claimed to have dreams about him, now he was beginning to wonder if what Alura was saying had some basis in truth. Did the necklace really connect them while a thousand years apart?

So deeply preoccupied considering this possibility, he didn’t notice right away when Alura passed back the necklace to him. “I- I’m sorry if I have intruded your family costumes,” he hurriedly said, holding back the necklace to Alura again. 

“Oh, of course not,” She shook her head and lightly pushed his hand back. “Kara gave this to you for a reason, the same reason I gave it to her, so it means something to the both of you and I can’t take that away from you now. This means your part of our house, Mon-El,” She beamed at Mon-El who was regarding her in sheer awe.

Mon-El composed himself quickly. “T- Thank you,” he nodded as he put the necklace back around his neck.

“Go ahead and get some rest, I will let you know if she wakes up,” Alura prompted as she took his empty cup and Mon-El couldn’t refuse anymore. He was dead on his feet and this conversation had given him a lot to think about. 

Pushing away from the table and uttering another polite word of gratitude for the meal and everything else, Mon-El got himself to the room their host had set up for him. The familiar grey outfit he had worn the last time he was visiting Argo was folded neatly on a very alluring bed. He didn’t fight himself anymore and got changed quickly before slipping under the covers. He was out of this world before his head hit the pillow with his fingers tightly wrapped around the necklace that was suddenly even more important to him than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you all are safe and well. 
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter. I wish I could update more often but these are indeed strange times and despite having the time, I struggle to focus on doing anything specific these days. I must work on my Master Thesis so there is that and as much as I like to work more on my various incomplete fics during this unwanted isolation time, it's very hard to sit still and follow a single line of thought while worrying about my family whom I live far away from, my thesis and the future in general. I hope things get better soon. I can't really say when I will update again, but I will do my best.
> 
> Thank you again for all the support, and stay safe  
> Till next time<3


	12. Awaken

* * *

_ “ _ _ Ah," she cried, "you look so cool."  _

_ Their eyes met, and they stared together at each other, alone in space. With an effort she glanced down at the table. _

_ “You always look so cool," she repeated. _

_ Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby _

* * *

Kara was having one of those odd dreams where everything is upside down and completely out of context, yet one couldn’t grasp it in that unconscious state and only in the light of wakefulness, it became evident how absolutely weird it had been.

And as it went in these kinds of dreams, Kara was doing her reporting job at her desk at CatCo in the Supergirl suit as if it were her norm and it didn’t stop there. Winn was also around just like the old days they used to work together, but he had a full beard and played Minecraft on his computer instead of doing his job, in a Santa custom. On the other side of the floor where the CEO’s office was located, Miss Grant was teaching Yoga to some people and last but not least, Lena was wearing the janitor’s outfit, swiping the floor in front of the elevators. She had made it specifically slippery, setting a trap for Eve who was supposed to bring a coffee for her boss. Eve never showed up, but another coworker slipped and injured herself, creating a kerfuffle by trying to blame someone else for the accident. Miss Grant stepped outside then, positively angry for being interrupted so rudely in the middle of her session. She was about to make a scene and fire Lena when a voice called Kara, distracting her.

_ ‘Kara, can you hear me?’ _

Kara spun on her heels, searching for the owner of the voice. “Who called me?”

_ ‘It’s me.’ _

“Linda?” She called Red Daughter with a hint of surprise.

As if a switch flicked in her mind, the dream scene came to a halt before fading away, transforming into a foggy forest, but not that dark place she had left Red Daughter in. She instantly recognized that she was standing in the ever-green needle forests of Kaznia. Kara swirled around and sure enough, Red Daughter herself was standing there in that grey tracksuit she always wore at the military base. Her destroyed suit was gone and her loose golden curls were brighter than any time before. 

“Is it really you?” Kara had to ask, not trusting if this were just another memory even though she could sense it wasn’t or maybe just a vivid dream. “I didn’t think I’ll ever see you again.”

“Yes, it’s me,” Red Daughter nodded. “Sorry to interrupt your dreams, but I had to tell you something before you woke up again.”

Kara looked at her nervously and she stared back at her with a similar expression. “What is it?” When she hesitated to answer, Kara jumped to the worst conclusion. “It’s the Cadmus, isn’t it? They got me under some Black Mercy hallucination with–“

“No, that’s not it!” She cut her off. “It’s the opposite, in fact.”

“What?” Kara blinked in confusion. “But I thought…”

Red Daughter shook her head, “You were rescued from Cadmus. You really are on Argo, Kara,” She beamed at her.

“But how? I don’t remember anything. Did you switch bodies with me again?”

“Not exactly,” She tensed up a little, fiddling with her fingers the same way Kara would whenever nervous. “I’d never do that to you on purpose ever again, but you were in a lot of pain and so overwhelmed that I had to intervene and block your memories for a while.”

“What memories?” Kara was now scared of what had really happened.

“I can show you,” She said as she walked to her, reaching for her hands. “I will take the pain away for you, don’t worry.”

Kara was momentarily stunned, but complied and put her hands in hers. Red Daughter grasped her hands tighter and took a deep breath. “Close your eyes,” She said before doing just that.

The moment her eyes were closed, Kara was pushed into another place. Tied to a bed. Her heart raced in fear because she had been put in that position before.

“Where am I? Is this Cadmus?” She asked, but her lips weren’t moving, her question was only echoed in her own mind.

“Yes, but don’t worry. It will all be fine,” Red Daughter replied assuringly in her mind.

Two men entered her vision and Kara was panicking, seeing one of them holding a big Kryptonite syringe. 

“No! Please,” Kara pleaded, “Stop this!”

“I’m so sorry, but you need to see this,” Red Daughter sounded remorseful. 

Her vision blurred and wavered as though the memory was put on fast forward and suddenly Kara found herself screaming at the top of her lungs. She didn’t feel any pain. Her memory-self, on the other hand, seemed to be very much so.

“What is happening?” Kara asked with dread as she watched the two men who had tried to inject her with Kryptonite were on the ground and her eyes were slicing the room with thick purple laser beams.

“You are solar flaring, they overloaded your system with some sort of substance,” Red Daughter explained.

There wasn’t much to see afterward besides the walls around her melting and alarms going off. Her memory-self screamed again and stopped her destructive heat vision with both hands.

_ “Kara?” _

A voice called in the memory and Kara’s heart skipped a beat. Although she couldn’t see the owner of the voice with her hands blocking her hazardous vision, she had close to no doubts who it belonged to.

_ “P- please, go away,”  _ Her memory-self whimpered with a shaken voice.

“Mon-El?!” Kara shouted in her mind.

_ “Kara?”  _ He called again, louder, but her hands never moved away from her eyes.

_ “I don’t want to hurt you, please leave now! I need to flare…I need to flare.”  _

_ “No, Kara, don’t.” _

_ “LEAVE NOW!” _

_ “KARA NO!” _

The memory then exploded in flashes of white and purple until it was deemed completely into black. Kara thought it was all over but just then light crept through her eyelids and her vision was filled with the loving face of the man she had longed to see for months. 

_ “Kara?” _

Mon-El’s eyes were brimmed with tears as he stroked her face with gentle feather touches. He looked awful. A white powder was settled all over his beard and soft brown hair, but even that couldn’t cover the deep concern etched across his face. His lips were fluttering as though he was murmuring something but she couldn’t comprehend anything, nothing but his warm arms around her body, pressed safely so close to his chest. He was shaking. Or maybe it was her who was shaking.

The memory ended abruptly right then and Kara found herself back in that field surrounded by pine trees and Red Daughter standing right in front of her.

“That was Mon-El!” Kara stated in shock as if Red Daughter hadn’t already seen it.

“Yes, they came after you,” She nodded. “So, you see? No Black Mercy.”

Kara nodded in return, still in disbelief. 

“It’s time to wake up, Kara,” Red Daughter reminded her with a smile. “Good luck.”

***

Kara’s eyes opened once more, however, unlike the time before, devoid of any hint of confusion or fear. She believed it now, thanks to Red Daughter showing her what had happened. She really was on Argo. She really was home.

She took a moment to appreciate it all. Her old room was lit in the weak sunset beams, creating elongated shadows. Kara reached to softly caress the fresh Dar-Essa rosy petals sitting on her bedside. She felt far more rested and stronger than the last time. She leaned back into her pillow and took a deep relaxing breath.

“Kara Zor-El, are you feeling alright?”

Kara saw their family robot approaching her and nodded. “Yes, Kalex, I’m alright.”

“My scans show your vitals normal. I will inform your mother of the change in your status per her request right away,” Kalex exclaimed in that monotonous digital voice before floating away and leaving her alone.

Kara pushed her blanket away, needing to stretch her legs. She had been sleeping for far too long. Her eyes drifted to the landscape outside her window and were naturally drawn to it. The sky was growing dark fast with the nightfall approaching. Instantly, she became fascinated by the shades of purple and orange gleaming across the deep blue canvas of the sky. It was different from the Earth, as though another artist had chosen the colors and it was nothing like how she remembered the crimson sunsets of Krypton either. Kara then looked at the buildings in the sight and noticed a few windows starting to turn their lights on one by one, contrary to how it used to be back on Krypton. This Argo was different from the one from the glorious days of her childhood. The towers weren’t as tall and fewer in numbers and where everything would be lit with magnificent lights, only some were equipped with illumination. This Argo was just a wandering asteroid in critical condition. They couldn’t afford to live according to their old styles. It was how things had gone wrong in the first place with Kryptonians exhausting their planet’s resources. Her people had learned their lesson the hard way and at a great cost no less. The names – her own father’s included - carved on the memorial near the city was a constant reminder of the price paid for their hubris. 

Kara was too immersed into the view before her to hear the rushed footsteps that skidded to a halt by her door.

“Kara?”

Her heart dropped as she whirled around and her eyes landed on Mon-El’s tall form filling the dark doorway while half of his face was hidden by the twilight shadows casting on him. His one visible stormy eye was shining with worry and his lips were ajar and lightly panting.

“Mon-El?” Kara couldn’t help the wide smile that pulled the tips of her dry lips upwards. All this time she still had questioned the accuracy of her memory but with him standing right in front of her, there were no more doubts. Mon-El was really there.

He took a hesitant step forward and the automated lights on the ceiling suddenly turned on, pouring orange beams on his face and revealing the light grey Kryptonian outfit he was wearing.

“You’re awake,” He stated the obvious as though unsure what else to say to fill the impending gap of words between them. “I… I saw Kalex rushing outside to call your mother, and I thought,” He said with a stutter, glancing back at the doorway. “She took others to the market just a few minutes ago,” He added in a hurry to ease Kara’s mind in case she was wondering about their whereabouts.

She nodded. “Mon-El, you’re here,” Kara stated the obvious as well and walked up to him. She was as bad as he was at this. Enthusiastically, she took in his assuring presence with more care. There were all sorts of emotions circulating in those conflicted bright and tired eyes of his. Kara then saw her mother’s necklace dangling from his neck just like the last time she had seen it. The pendant was askew on his chest as though it had fallen out of his collar in his rushed movements to get himself to her room. Her heartstrings flickered with deep emotions to see him still keeping that heirloom so close to himself.

He nodded, smiling back at her. “I’m here,” He acknowledged quietly and she noticed his hands were twitching as if he meant to reach and touch her but didn’t dare. The feeling was mutual, yet Kara couldn’t wait any longer and closed the distance between them by wrapping her arms around him, feeling his solid torso firm against her body as his familiar scent washed over her senses.

Mon-El grew stiff momentarily, but soon settled her into his embrace and his chest expanded before deflating with a deep sigh and Kara felt it from where her cheek was pressed over his shoulder blade. He felt warm like the sun. The yellow sun on a summer afternoon.

“Are you ok?” Mon-El asked timidly.

“I’m much better now,” She assured and pulled away from him rather reluctantly to look at his tired face again. “You came after me.”

“Everytime,” He gave that familiar answer to her familiar expression which brought a shy nostalgic smile to both their faces because they both remembered the day they had first said those words to each other in reverse. Kara noticed he was still holding on to her waist as she was keeping her hands on his shoulders, unwilling to let go. She had so many questions, so many blanks she needed them to be filled but she watched his eyes then turn a little sad and concerned. “Kara, are you really doing ok? You don’t think this is all just a dream, right? Because-”

Kara shook her head quickly to dismiss his worries, “No, I’m not confused anymore. I remember what happened now. Sorry, I worried you all.”

Mon-El let out another relieved sigh, “Thank Rao.”

A moment of silence followed and She started to think about everyone else. “Wait, what about J’onn? He was with me when they attacked us.”

“He’s ok. Everyone is ok. You don’t have to worry,” Mon-El rushed to explain.

“Kara!” Alex’s voice made them both jump and let go of each other. She burst into the room with a broad smile, Alura and Eliza right behind her. To say Kara was speechless was an understatement.

She didn’t find the time to speak with Mon-El anymore as she was pulled into hugs after hugs, but she didn’t mind it. She was with her family where she belonged. 

Kara stared at him from where she was being squished in Alex’s embrace for a second time and Mon-El gave her a gentle smile before leaving the room, giving the space to the ladies.

“Sorry, we were a little late, dear. I took Alex and Eliza to the market,” Alura apologized, putting her hand on Kara’s shoulder. 

Kara shook her head. “It’s ok. Mon-El was here,” She looked over to the doorway he had just left through as if expecting to see him still lingering there.

“How are you feeling?”

Kara saw the anxious look mirroring on each of their faces. “I’m ok. I remember now. Sorry, I worried you guys before,” Kara assured and watched them all smile in relief.

“We bought some groceries for dinner, are you feeling hungry?”

As if on cue, Kara’s stomach growled, announcing her hunger. She nodded eagerly, making Alex laugh.

“That’s a really good sign. It means you are recovering,” Eliza claimed, switching back into her scientist mode.

“Eliza, I can’t believe you’re here too!” Kara said, hugging her adoptive mother tightly again, in a way she never could on Earth. She was beyond happy to have her entire family together on Argo.

Eliza hugged her back with equal strength, again, in a way Kara had never felt before. “I can’t believe it myself. I did want to visit Argo ever since you told me about the gateway, but never found the chance.”

“How?” Kara pulled back and looked at Alex and Alura in confusion.

“The Legion Cruiser is very spacious,” Alex reminded Kara with a smirk.

“Ah, of course!” It finally came together in her scattered mind. Of course, if Mon-El was here then it meant that they had the awesome futuristic spaceship at their disposal to travel across the interstellar in a matter of minutes. “Wait, does that mean the whole Legion is here?” Kara asked, thinking about a particular member of the Legion she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to meet again.

“No, Just Mon-El and Winn.”

“Winn?! Oh, how I miss him!” Kara was bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement at the thought of meeting her best friend after a whole year.

“I should prepare dinner soon,” Alura reminded and then turned to Kara. “I put some fresh clothes in the wardrobe if you need to change.”

“Thank you,” Kara smiled.

“We’ll be in the living room,” Alex said and they all left Kara so she could change into something less like a sleeping gown.

Kara found her way to the living room a few minutes later, and as promised, Alex was there along with J’onn and Mon-El, lounging on the sofa. At the sight of the beloved Martian safe and sound, Kara sighed in relief. “J’onn!” Kara jogged to pull him into a hug. “I was so worried about you. I thought they arrested you too! Are you okay?” She asked, even though Mon-El had already assured her that he was well.

“I’m ok, Kara. They were only after you. They just used a strong psychic damper on me, nothing that serious,” J’onn said, shaking his head. “You’re the one we were all worried about.”

Kara shrugged. “Oh, I’m fine now. Don’t worry. Thanks to you all,” She glanced at Mon-El with a smile who was quick to reciprocate, even though it didn’t reach his eyes for some reason. “So glad you’re here too,” Kara added. 

“I’m glad to be here as well,” J’onn nodded with a smile. 

Kara sat on an empty spot next to Alex and looked across the room where the kitchen was located and noticed Alura and Eliza deep in conversation as they supervised Kalex preparing their meal. To Kara, it was surreal seeing them together. 

“It’s like right out of a dream, right?” Alex said, observing Kara’s stare.

“Yeah, you have no idea how many times I wondered how it could be like if Eliza met my mom.”

“They get along pretty well.”

“Are they always talking about me?”

“I don’t have superhearing, but I guess so. You’ve been on our minds a lot lately,” Alex gave Kara a lopsided smile.

Kara rolled her eyes, but felt a little guilty. She had worried everyone. Kara wrapped an arm around Alex’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea that skipping that interview would make the government react like that.”

“I can’t believe you still call that an interview, for God’s sake! Kara, that wasn’t the issue!”

“What?” Kara pulled back and regarded Alex in surprise. 

Alex seemed hesitant to explain and exchanged a meaningful look with Mon-El which Kara didn’t miss.

“The government works with Cadmus, I know. I figured that much,” Kara said, imagining that this was why Alex was so reluctant to speak.

Alex nodded, “Yeah, but that ‘interview’ wasn’t really why they wanted you, Kara. Remember I was called into DEO that day, right before everything?”

Kara nodded, remembering clearly how Alex had rushed outside.

“It was for an emergency briefing for a special task force to arrest Supergirl,” Kara was shocked but didn’t interrupt as Alex continued, “The order was from the US army based on the evidence they had found on Supergirl making three separate trips to Kaznia within the past month, violating the security rules.”

“How could they know where I’ve been?! And three times? I only remember doing it once!” Kara said in disbelief but already doubting that maybe the other two trips must have happened while she had been experiencing those time-lapses.

“I have no idea how they tracked you. Only the DEO is supposed to have the technology.”

“So what did you do when you found out you have to lead a team to arrest me?” Kara asked, already imagining all sorts of explosive reactions Alex might have had.

Alex didn’t respond immediately as she gave Kara a mischievous look and smirked, “I kind of trapped them with myself at the DEO. I put the DEO under a lockdown that took them at least six hours to undo. But of course, they already had a backup beta team elsewhere,” She made a disgusted face.

“What did they do then?” Kara gasped.

“They detained me,” Alex said nonchalantly as if it happened all the time, and continued to tell her about the very action-movie-like rescue mission J’onn and Mon-El had performed to extract her out of the DEO and Kara listened to her with wide eyes. Only when Alex mentioned Winn, Kara noticed that she hadn’t seen him around at all.

“Hey, where’s Winn?”

“He’s in your father’s old lab with Qurel Dox,” Alura explained. She and Eliza had just joined them in the living room area. “They’ve been obsessing over the old Kryptonian tech since I showed them the place and they barely leave it,” She added with a bemused expression.

“No wonder,” Kara shook her head in fondness. Typical of Winn and a 12 th level intellectual.

Soon after, the dinner was ready to be served. Kara looked around the table after taking a few bites from the large portion of food on her plate. Mon-El was very quiet and preoccupied. He was playing with his food and not looking up from his plate. Her eyes traveled to others after him. They all looked weary, just as Mon-El. It worried her.

“Ehm, so the jet lag must be serious, huh?” She tried to break the ice.

Everyone chuckled but Kara didn’t lose the way Alex and Mon-El exchanged a meaningful glance with each other, albeit very briefly for the second time that night. There was something they weren’t telling her, she was certain of it. She would have pushed them for an answer if it weren’t for their exhausted expressions. Maybe tomorrow then. There was no rush.

Despite not feeling even the slightest tired, Kara was soon ushered to bed again after a checkup, per Alura and Eliza’s insistence. She didn’t argue with them as she shuffled back into her bed. Her mother accompanied her and tucked her in just like she would all those years ago when Kara was a child and life was simple. When even the idea of Krypton’s annihilation was nothing more than an impossible dark nightmare in her innocent world. She still remembered those times clear as day. Kara still remembered fondly how she stubbornly remained awake, anticipating her mother’s return from her tedious long day at the court, where she passed judgment on the wrongdoings of others, only to greet her and to have her tuck her in bed. Her mother was her hero.

Alura fixed Kara’s blanket needlessly and made sure she was completely covered before looking up to meet Kara’s astounded gaze on herself. “What?”

“N- nothing,” Kara stuttered. She was caught off guard in her deep reminiscing of her childhood. The fact that her mother didn’t look aged even a single day since she said goodbye to her on that fateful night at that hangar, was only adding more weight to the turmoil of emotions threatening to get the best of her. Kara was suddenly entranced by the idea that if she could just forget about everything that had ever happened for the past 15 years, all that she had been through since leaving Krypton behind without any choice, then this could have been how her life would be like every night and every day. It was a shame that forgetting the past for the sake of fantasy was impossible. This was not Krypton and she hadn’t been home for far longer than she had lived there. 

Alura stared back at her with understanding with a smile that contained all the pain and love she carried within. She might have looked the same as Kara remembered her, yet her deep silence, the soft sorrowful glint in eyes and her stance all had a different sense to them. Her choice in fewer words spoke of her loneliness while the haunted look in her eyes was a result of the many tragedies she had endured. And the slow but purposeful movements of her body told Kara of her years of living with grief and guilt. 

Above all things, however, she was still her mother and Kara loved her more than she ever did. So intensely and infinitely that tears came forth to her eyes uncontrollably. “Ukiemodh wa rrip eh, jeju.”  _ I love you, mom. _

Alura instantly pulled Kara into her arms, putting a kiss on her forehead. “Ukiemodh wa rrip eh, Kara,” Her mother said back.

Kara held her tighter in her arms as she struggled to keep her voice from shaking too much as she spoke, “I’m so sorry I didn’t visit this whole time… I… didn’t... I wasn’t…”

“Shhh,” Alura rubbed her back. “It’s alright. You don’t need to apologize.”

“But I have to. I was so inconsiderate… too afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Alura pulled back to look into her daughter’s misty eyes.

“Afraid of losing you again,” Kara couldn’t stifle the sob that broke from her throat before it escaped her lips. She saw the tears her words provoked in her mother’s eyes.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore, I’m right here. I’m never leaving you again,” Alura assured as she wiped some stray tears that were streaking down Kara’s cheeks before pulling her into another firm hug.

Alura remained by Kara’s side for as long as she needed to calm down, caressing her locks gently to soothe her while humming an old Kryptonian hymn to her until she finally fell asleep.

***

When Kara woke up next it was still dark outside, indicating the morning still wouldn’t be on the horizon for another few hours. She wasn’t tired anymore thus she decided to take a look around the house quietly.

She walked alone on bare feet across the cool flooring, a hand tracing the all too familiar walls of her childhood home as she went along calmly. The only sound in the air was the soft fluttering of her white silk gown and her slow breathing. Kara stepped into the living room and stopped when she realized there was another person awake like her in the house.

From his broad but slouched shoulders sitting on the couch and bowed down head, Kara recognized Her most – only – favorite Daxamite in the universe, even in the lack of any light source.

“Mon-El?” She spoke his name in a whisper, yet the call made him jolt up from his tense posture.

“Kara? you… what are you doing awake? Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Mon-El was stammering, too easily alarmed at her sight, and obviously not expecting company in his silent brooding session at this time of night.

“Yes, I’m fine. You all got to stop worrying about me,” Kara assured as she walked up to the couch and sat on the empty spot close to him. She didn’t need to see his face to know something was deeply bothering him and keeping him awake. “I just didn’t feel tired anymore after sleeping so much,” She added.

His solid silhouette nodded with a quiet hum. His silence afterward became too heavy to bear for Kara. “Are you ok?” She asked and saw him nod again.

“Yeah, just couldn’t sleep.”

She hummed, “So, everything’s ok in the future?”

His response was a low and indecipherable sound that could only be interpreted as ‘not good’. “I’m not really supposed to talk about the future, sorry.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“It’s alright, you’re already saving the world on a daily basis. You don’t have to be burdened with the future as well.”

Kara didn’t know what to say in return, but she was worried about how troubled he sounded, “Is that why you can’t sleep? Because of the future?”

“No, that’s not it. Well, at least I don’t think that’s it this time…”

“Then what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“You know you can tell me anything, Mon-El, right?”

“Yes, I do, but it’s fine, really.”

“If it’s fine then how come I can sense you in pain?”

Kara felt Mon-El’s heavy stare on herself. He then let out a loud sigh, “I just…” He rasped, unable to continue. Kara reached for his hand blindly until she found his fingers cold and laced hers through his, sharing her warmth.

“It’s ok. Talk to me. I’ll listen,” Once more the familiar words he had once consulted her with on the DEO balcony made Mon-El chuckle quietly and appreciated her support by holding tighter onto her hand.

“I’m disappointed in myself,” He finally admitted.

“Why? Because of what happened to me?” Kara remembered his broken face from the memories Red Daughter had shown her. 

“I should’ve been here. I should’ve done more,” Mon-El said bitterly.

“Mon-El, listen to me,” Kara coaxed him by rubbing his arm soothingly. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about any of this. You saved me.”

“No, Kara. I arrived so late. You were flaring and I couldn’t do anything.”

“This wasn’t your fault, none of it is.”

“I know,” He paused, rubbing his tired eyes with the hand that wasn’t trapped in Kara’s warm hold. “I just wish I could do more. I feel so insufficient.” 

The sky was brightening up much quicker than the dawn on Earth, Kara noticed. The ivory shade of the horizon was particularly magnificent and otherworldly, as seen from the floor to ceiling windows of the living room and it brightened up Mon-El’s pained expression more by the second. His grey eyes were somber and sleep deprived. Kara felt for him and this familiar struggle he was dealing with. 

“I understand. I often feel the same way when I can’t help with something as Supergirl. You must accept that it’s impossible to be at all places at all times. We can’t save everyone, we can only try.” He nodded at her but didn’t say anything. Kara feared that he knew this even better than her after years of leading the Legion into dangerous battles and losing comrades. He had been doing this longer than her now. “But hey, I’m still here. You saved me,” She squeezed his hand and tried to cheer him up a little. “And you even brought me to the one place I’ve been wanting to visit even before I woke up.”

Mon-El’s eyes turned confused and Kara knew she hadn’t made much sense. He didn’t know about Red Daughter or the conversations they had. At least she thought that way since she had no idea if Alex, J’onn or Brainy had told him anything yet.

“It’s the least I could do,” Mon-El replied. “After…” He abruptly trailed off.

“After what?” Kara pressed when he didn’t continue.

Mon-El kept on watching her wordlessly, contemplating telling her what he had decided otherwise in the last moment. Kara held his gaze, trying to convey mutual understanding and patience through her eyes alone. Her calmness and questioning eyes won him over after a long second as he blinked and dropped his head.

“I can’t keep this from you,” He conceded with a shake of his head. 

“What –“

“Come with me,” Getting up to his feet, Mon-El gently tugged on Kara’s hand and urged her to follow his actions.

Kara complied and let him lead her towards the front door. He grabbed their old robes from the hanging rack next to the door and helped her slip into the warm navy blue robe before wearing his grey one. It was amazing that her mother had kept those robes exactly where they had left them a year ago. She wanted to ask where he was taking her when they stepped outside but decided that she would find out soon enough and just tried to take in the sight of the still asleep Argo that was just about to stir awake. Mon-El took her along the marketplace, which was still closed, and Kara couldn’t help but reminisce about the first time she walked through the crowds there, oblivious that this was a piece of her home. She then remembered Val, that sweet boy Mon-El had saved, and a smile slipped onto her face at the memory of Mon-El interacting with the little one. 

“Something wrong?” Mon-El asked when her steps grew slower and she was falling behind. He reached to grab her hand.

“No, I was just thinking about the old times,” She replied and leaned into his touch. Mon-El smiled softly with a nod.

It didn’t take that long before they made it to their destination and Kara easily recognized her father’s old labs. This discovery, however, didn’t help her deduce what Mon-El wanted to show her.

They entered the construction and Mon-El pushed open the heavy main doors. Kara still could recall how once these doors would only allow authorization digitally for a member of the house of El and never moved manually. Another change in this new Argo. The once pristine institution, the spearhead of advancement in science and technology on the entire planet, was now just a haunted building with its every surface covered by a layer of thick dust like a forgotten memory. A cemetery for dreams that no longer mattered. Not for a small nation that was barely surviving on their little resources. It was baffling to watch how priorities in a community changed when all the efforts were redirected into basic survival needs. 

The duo finally came to a stop when they reached the biggest laboratory and found three people already there in a deep discussion. Alex, Winn, and Brainy fell silent and turned to meet their new guests. As odd as she found this gathering so early in the morning in this particular place, Kara didn’t think much of it when she saw her best friend for the first time after a whole year of missing him.

“Winn!” Kara rushed forward to pull the genius into her arms. “You’re here too! Oh, I’ve missed you so much,” She said as she gave him that tight hug she never could give any human due to her crushing powers. Perks of not having her gifts.

“I’ve missed you too, Kara!” Winn replied, hugging her back as firmly. “And of course I’m here. Where else would I be?”

She pulled back to look at his tired face more closely with rings of tears she couldn’t help with under all the emotions. He had grown a beard and was wearing a dark blue suit with golden stripes, matching the Legion ring on his left hand. Kara gaped a little at his new looks. He looked different from the Winn she had said goodbye to. He looked a lot more mature just the look in his eyes. It looked older and wiser. Like Mon-El.

“Wow, you look… different. Good different,” Kara exclaimed.

“Like Elsa different? I take that as a compliment,” Winn snickered with a wink, recognizing that quote from Frozen, even though Kara had said it unconsciously. 

Kara chuckled because some things never changed. 

“Look at you two nerds finally reunited,” Alex boasted but Kara could sense the underlying affection in her words.

“Alex get in here!” Kara prompted and pulled on her arm so they could both hug Winn this time.

“You know, I already did this when I saw him,” Alex said when Kara was lingering.

“Well, I wasn’t there so it doesn’t count.”

“Fair point,” Winn laughed. 

Kara finally pulled back and looked over to the other two men in the room. Mon-El and Brainy were smiling at their reunion. She then noticed all the monitors and wires around the place.

“So, do you want to tell me what kind of secret operation you’re running from here?” Kara asked, causing everyone to exchange worried looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are with Karamel finally together! A lot more is on the way, no worries ;)
> 
> I hope you all are well and holding it up during this time. It hasn't been easy but we have to have hope that it will get better soon.  
> Thank you for reading. I can't promise when I will update next, but I hope you liked this chapter.
> 
> Stay safe and cheers.


	13. Sense and Sensibility - Part I

* * *

_ “Life is much more successfully looked at from a single window.” _

_ Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby _

* * *

Kara kept on watching each of the monitors showing the news from Earth. She had lost track of time as she turned to focus on each display, switching to different networks, even from different countries across the globe. They were all discussing one thing and one thing only. Her biggest nightmare. The world knew who Kara Danvers Really was. Her secret identity was no longer a secret.

“Kara?” Alex called hesitantly and she looked at her blankly. “Say something, please? You’re kinda scaring us.”

Indeed everyone in that forsaken lab looked rather anxious and unnerved as Kara had kept silent long after Brainy had explained to her what had transpired right after her rescue from Cadmus. Strangely, Kara found herself at a loss for any words. She couldn’t, no, she didn’t know what could be said at that moment. She had always feared this day, yet now that it was here, she felt too shocked to react to it. This was simply too much to digest, too immense to be believed.

Kara forcefully tore her eyes from the screen that was showing Tik Tok videos of people breaking into her loft, rummaging through her stuff and stealing all her belongings to keep as souvenirs, or showing them off like trophies. The news moderator was explaining that soon after that the entire street had been under lockdown by the authorities, who were probably dissecting every inch of her home. She felt violated in ways she had never experienced. The only bright side of this entire demise was the fact that her family was right there with her and safe.

“I guess that explains now why you picked up Eliza,” Kara finally mumbled with a clenched jaw.

“Of course, we couldn’t take any risks,” Alex said.

“But, what about the other people who know me!?” Kara tensed with fear at the thought of her friends or colleagues being in harm, simply because of knowing her. “What about Nia and James?!”

“Kara, hey, breathe. Everyone is ok. James and Nia are in hiding. They can take care of themselves,” Alex tried to calm her by rubbing her shoulders.

Kara nodded, chewing on her bottom lip and not convinced in the slightest. It slowly then dawned on her, within this whirlwind of outbreaking truth. The inevitable consequence that she had been evading since the moment she had been faced with this new reality.

Her life as Kara Danvers was effectively over and nothing was going ever to be like how it was before. Never again.

Even odder than that, was the fact that at that moment, right in the face of this shell shocking truth bomb, Kara felt no regrets or difficulty giving up on her human alter ego, not while standing on a piece of her true home and surrounded by her family. That wasn’t what bothered her. What was most difficult to grasp was what it meant for Earth and the people who knew her. How could she perform her duties as a hero? How could she help people like this? And above everything else, what did this mean for Alex and Eliza? How could they return to their lives? Their lives were ruined...

She was spiraling.

“Kara, I promise, we are working on this,” Winn stepped forward with a determined look on his face, trying to assure her.

“How, Winn? This is a disaster! How do you want to fix this!?” Kara motioned at another monitor that showed people camping around the Danvers house in Midvale or bothering the locals with their snooping into their private lives to gather any information about Kara and the Danvers family. She felt disgusted watching them. “Because unless J’onn can make every single person on the planet forget who I am, I don’t think there is any other way.”

“I know, but believe me, we are looking into some other options,” Winn looked over to where Brainy and Mon-El were standing with unreadable serious expressions.

Kara trusted her friends, but even as famously hopeful as she was known to be, Kara couldn’t find the silver lining in this situation. As she tried to think around this, trying to find another angle, Kara suddenly remembered her promise to Red Daughter and the urgency of finding the whereabouts of Mikhail as fast as possible. That was her priority.

“We need to go back to Earth!” Kara said unannounced.

“Kara, what?” Alex exclaimed in disbelief. The confusion was written on her, as well as every three men’s faces in the room.

“Alex, Mikhail is alive!”

Alex’s eyes grew wide, “What? How? You said Lex killed him.”

“I know, but I…” Kara paused, trying the best way to explain it to Alex while not sounding demented, too much. She was fully aware of the heavy stares she was receiving from everyone as she continued, “I met Red Daughter when I was at Cadmus. I met her in that dark dimension we once went to, to save Sam, you remember?” Kara’s eyes briefly fleeted to meet Mon-El’s burning with curiosity. A flood of memory filled her mind of the day it had happened. The eclipse, Regin, Pestilence, and Purity planning an attack and Mon-El keeping his promise to Kara to not wake her before she had fulfilled her mission in rescuing Sam and Julia. She saw in his eyes, a reflection of emotions playing, indicating that he too remembered that day vividly.

“Yeah, you were there?” Alex nodded, looking worried and intrigued. “Did they put you there?”

“No,” Kara shook her head. “At least I don’t think so, because that place is linked with any being created from Black Kryptonite and this was the connection I had been sensing since the beginning,” She rambled off, attempting to make sense. She continued to tell them what had happened to her while in that place and their expressions changed from puzzled to awed, to frowning and in thought.

“Kara, do you really think you can trust a reconstruction of memory?” Alex asked in doubt.

“Yes, I do,” she responded with utmost confidence.

“Not that I don’t believe you, but Kara, you can’t set foot anywhere on Earth right now! Anyone recognizes your face. disguise or not,” Alex shook her head in protest.

“What about image inducers Brainy has invented? We can use them,” Kara argued.

“It’s too risky, Kara. Cadmus is still after you. image inducers can be easily detected if they know what they’re doing.”

Kara sighed in resignation. She saw Alex had a point.

“Kara, I know how much you want to help this boy, believe me, I know, but this is not the right time. besides the situation on Earth right now, you are still recovering and can’t be exposed to yellow sunlight either. We still don’t know what else they might have injected you with.”

Kara saw the deep concern in Alex’s hazel eyes and nodded. Her secret identity had destroyed Alex and Eliza’s lives. She couldn’t ask them to risk anything anymore for her after this, nor disregarding their unconditional care for herself. Not right after they have saved her life. She owed them everything. “Okay,” Kara relented with a nod. “You’re right.”

Alex pulled Kara into a hug and she once again was caught off guard with how tight it felt here on Argo while without her powers. “I promise, we will find a way around this. We always do,” Alex encouraged and for the first time since hearing the news, her confident words penetrated the growing darkness in her heart.

“Thank you, Alex,” Kara hugged Alex back as hard as she wanted to - needed to - without the fear of harming her. She was going to miss feeling embraces like this when she had to return to Earth. That was if she ever could go back.

Alex was the first to pull back. “Let’s get back to the house. I’m sure they will start looking for us if we don’t show up soon,” She said and everyone agreed.

The walk back to Kara’s childhood home was a quiet one. The group moved with the sister in the lead, merely enjoying the bustling of a newly woken up city. Kara smiled faintly at some children playing, lost in their innocent jubilant world, and admired the scenery that took her mind off the other troubles. As soon as they reached the familiar building, Alura opened the door, greeting them. “There you are! I was starting to think you have all left Argo without a notice!” 

Kara hugged her mother in assurance, “I would never do that! Sorry, we were in dad’s lab and lost track of time,” She explained.

Alura put a kiss on Kara’s hair. “Your dad used to say the exact same thing,” She reminisced with a chuckle.

“He did, didn’t he?” Kara laughed despite the pang of hollow she felt in her heart, remembering her father.

Alura held onto Kara for just another few seconds before turning her gaze to the rest of the group.“Come on inside,” She motioned before adding, “You have a visitor, Kara!”

Kara followed her mother eagerly inside to the living room, curious about this surprise visitor. There, right in the middle of the living room stood Clark Kent tall and smiling brightly, speaking with J’onn, while Eliza was keeping company, a very pregnant Lois on the couch.

“Kal!” Kara rushed to him with the broadest smile and unable to contain her delight at the sight of her one and only beloved cousin. She had almost forgotten that he and Lois had moved to Argo in preparation for the birth of their child.

“Kara,” Clark put his arms around her in a gentle hug, giving her his own wide warm smile. “Sorry, we couldn’t visit sooner. Lois was feeling a bit sick last night.”

Kara shook her head, “Of course, it’s not a big deal. I’ve missed you so much! I’m so glad you’re both safe,” She turned to Lois who was still seated on the couch, dressed in a loose pink Kryptonian gown that did little to hide the protruding bulge on her stomach. She was radiating with that special glow all mothers to be were associated with. “Lois, look at you! Oh, I’m so happy for the both of you!” Kara leaned to give Lois a cautious hug, mindful not to put any pressures on her stomach.

“Thank you, Kara,” Lois said with a smile. “I know, I’m so big and swollen!” She huffed, her tone laced with irritation as she caressed her round baby bump.

“No! You look beautiful!” Kara assured.

“I keep telling her that, but she doesn’t believe me,” Clark complained as he shook Mon-El’s hand and moved to put a kiss on his wife’s head.

“You wouldn’t think that when I get my morning sickness every few hours,” Lois rolled her eyes but her smile resumed. “We were so worried about you, Kara. Are you feeling better now?” She said to Kara then, holding her hand.

“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine thanks to these guys,” Kara nodded at Alex and others who had each taken a place around the living room and were watching their interaction. “But things are a bit crazy on Earth right now…” Kara trailed off.

“We heard,” Clark solemnly said and put a hand on Kara’s shoulder. “If there’s anything I can do to help -”

“Thank you so much, Kal, I’m sure we can handle this, you have your own family to look after now.” 

“You’re my family too, Kara. You know that.”

“I know,” Kara smiled warmly at her cousin. “So, how far are you gone?” She asked Lois, desperate to turn the conversation back to the soon to be born baby.

“I was just telling Eliza, I’m in the 34th week.”

“Oh, so you’re due in almost a month?” Alex asked this time and Kara could see her eyes sparkling with curiosity and eagerness.

“Yes, just 4 or 5 more weeks left, or whenever this little guy decides he’s ready,” Lois smirked at her bump as if the baby could hear her.

“It’s a boy?!” Kara gasped with happiness.

“Yes, you didn’t know?”

“No! Oh, Rao, congratulations!” Kara jumped to hug Clark again, who was a little startled at her explosive elation and laughed.

“You’re gonna be aunt Kara, soon!”

“Rao! Me? A- an aunt?” Kara felt goosebumps running along her arms at the mere thought of meeting Clark’s son, as if it was only hitting her then. Her eyes roamed around the room as she imagined holding that baby, seeing everyone’s bright smiles resonating her fantasy and somehow stopped on Mon-El as though she had unknowingly sought him. His eyes were warm as he stared at her and filled with emotions and such a longing she couldn’t quite decipher. The grey in his irises was liquid, vibrating and mysterious. They smiled softly at each other at the same time. A meaningful smile.

“Do you already have a name in mind for him?” Eliza asked.

“Jon, after Clark’s father, Jonothon,” Lois explained as she smiled at Clark.

“That’s beautiful,” Kara squeezed his hand with rings of tears in her eyes, knowing how much he loved his Earth father and grieved his loss every day.

“I wish Pa was still around to meet his grandson,” Clark’s eyes turned mournful.

“He’s not really gone, Kal. He is watching over you from Rao’s light just like your parents,” Kara tried to soothe him.

Clark nodded in appreciation. A moment of solidarity silence ensued as they reflected on the deceased, before more rounds of questions were asked from the soon to be parents, about their plans, hopes and fears. The discussion was carried over to the breakfast that was served soon after - to Kara and Lois’ delight. As she ate, Kara gazed around the table, watching everyone chatting calmly. Alex, in particular, was engaged in a detailed discussion about motherhood with Lois and it warmed Kara’s heart, knowing how much she wanted to become a mother. She sighed in relief, beaming. It was truly a bizarre occasion to have almost everyone she loved and considered family all present under one roof on a piece of her home. Despite everything going on out there on Earth, Kara didn’t wish this moment to be ever disturbed.

The Kents left around mid-day, not before inviting them to pay a visit whenever they wished. Alura had set them up in a renovated apartment less than a kilometer away. After Kara bid them goodbye with a promise of visiting them soon, she retreated to her room, feeling rather bored. Winn and Brainy had once again headed to her father’s labs and Mon-El had followed them outside, claiming that he needed to check on the Legion cruiser. 

“Knock, knock,” Kara heard Alex sing-song, standing in the doorway to her room.

“Hey, come on in,” Kara smiled at her.

Alex walked to where Kara was checking some of the old artifacts she kept on her shelf, watching them with curiosity. 

“What’s this?” Alex asked, pointing at a grey slab with two handprints engraved on them. One very small and the other bigger yet not as matured as an adult’s hand.

Kara smiled as she picked the item up, touching the curves, removing the dust and leaving a streak on it. “It’s mine and Kal’s handprints,” Kara fondly remembered the day she had made the artifact, guiding little Kal’s chubby hand to the soft material, right next to her own hand, recording their sizes and forms, for eternity.

“You are telling me Superman’s hands were that tiny?” Alex gasped as he took the slab from her to look more closely at it in awe.

Kara laughed, “Yes, and never forget, I changed his diapers too!”

“And now he’s going to change his own son’s diapers very soon!”

“Rao, I still can’t believe it! Kal becoming a father? It’s happening all so fast!”

Alex smiled at her, falling quiet for a moment. Kara knew something was on her mind that she wasn’t ready to share just yet. Instead, she pointed at the puzzle orb on the shelf, and Kara proceeded to tell her the story behind it. 

“Do you ever think about it?” Alex suddenly asked a few minutes later as they sat on her bed, out of items to talk about in Kara’s childhood room.

“About what?”Kara asked although she had an inkling what Alex was referring to.

“Having a family?”

“Oh, well…” Kara looked down at the box she had in her lap, filled with her academic certificates. Her long forgotten accomplishments. She fiddled with a rectangular plastic award, thinking. “I don’t know…I mean there are moments I imagine how it could be, but honestly with who I am, and the life I have? I’ve always considered them just that, imagination.” She confessed.

Alex nodded and didn’t comment on Kara’s view on the subject. 

“But I know you will make a pretty awesome mother,” Kara added, smiling at Alex.

“Yeah?” Alex smiled tentatively.

“Yes, why would you ever doubt that?”

“Gee, I don’t know, maybe because I haven’t even found a partner yet, let alone having a child!”

“Alex, you don’t need a partner to become a mother.”

“I know that.”

“Then what’s holding you back?”

“I don’t feel like I’m ready for it…” Alex’s shoulders fell.

“I don’t think one can ever be ready for it, but whenever you make the decision, know that I will be here for you and will help you any way I can.”

“Thanks, Kara,” Alex smiled at her and they hugged tightly. “Hey, listen, I know you won’t like this, but mom said this morning that we might need to test your blood soon and check for Black Kryptonite.”

“No, I hate needles,” Kara wrinkled her nose.

“Yeah, Supergirl is afraid of needles,” Alex chuckled.

“I’m not  _ afraid _ of them,” Kara instantly turned into her defensive mode. “I just don’t like the sting.”

“Well, it is what it is. I think Mon-El went to the ship to bring some equipment for mom to do it. They got the best medical equipment in the entire galaxy, I swear. Their healing pods saved your life when we found you.”

“Lucky me,” Kara cheered, but inside she was relieved that she had no recollection of being in the mentioned pods again. She had seen them up close but even the idea of being trapped in one of those things was enough to give her palpitations. It brought back very familiar and dark memories.

Kara got to her feet and walked to stand in front of the wide windows, looking over - the new - Argo City. In the light of the day, everything seemed far different from how Kara remembered it. Save from their new sun that radiated white and much brighter than Rao did on Krypton, the grounds were covered with vegetation, giving the entire city a very green appearance. Something that was rare to find in the old city. From all the abuse of the land and the planet’s resources, Krypton was devoid of plants, and the only species left were kept in greenhouses and practically considered extinct. Kara had memories of visiting such places with her father, just to get a glimpse of flowers held in glass cases. Seeing the ground once again breathing and birthing life made her heart warmer despite knowing what it had cost them all. It was true what they said, life always finds a way and every ending is a new beginning.

“You know, I never imagined I’d ever see your house one day,” Alex stated in awe as she joined her in watching the view.

“Neither did I,” Kara put her arm around her sisters’ shoulders, keeping her close. “But for what it's worth, you  _ are _ my home too, Alex.”

Alex beamed, leaning her head to Kara’s. “Now, now, don’t go all sappy on me. I’ve already had a few emotional days.”

“Sorry, I know, I’ve screwed big time,” Kara’s face suddenly fell as she remembered once again how things had become messy on Earth.

“What are you talking about?” Alex pulled away to look at Kara’s downward eyes and frowned.

“I’ve ruined your lives. You and Eliza can never go back…”

“No, Kara stop blaming yourself for this! This wasn’t your fault,” Alex held Kara’s shoulders, trying to make her look up into her eyes to see the affirmation in them.

“Yes, it was. My secret identity has always been a threat to your family from the start. I must have told them something under sedation, I’ve put your lives in danger many times and now I’ve done it,” Kara walked away from Alex stiffly, trying to hold her voice even as she spoke. “First it was Jeremiah, then you quit your medical career to join the DEO because of me, and now this.”

“No, stop it! Just stop, Kara,” Alex raised her voice and Kara looked up, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Alex approached her, wrapping her in her arms close to herself. “You didn’t do this, and please don’t bring up the past. You were just a kid.” 

“How can you know this wasn’t my fault?” Kara asked weakly.

“Because we know who did it. We know who was behind the attack on you and revealing your identity.”

“Who did it?!” Kara’s eyes were blown wide.

Strangely Alex suddenly became reluctant to respond to that simple question. “You’re not going to like this…”

“Who did this, Alex? Just tell me!” Kara repeated.

“Lena.”

Kara was sure she had heard wrong, “I’m sorry, did you say, Lena?!”

“Yes, Kara, I know this is hard to believe -”

“No, you’re wrong. It can’t be.”

“But it is!”

“How do you know?”

“We have proof. Brainy hacked L-Corp servers and-”

“You hacked her servers without permission?!”

“Kara, you aren’t looking at this objectively. We had reasons to do this. You weren’t there when we were looking for you without any clues.”

“And what did you find?” Kara folded her arms over her chest.

“Nothing at first, but after we found you, after the news broke out,” Alex paused for a moment, looking at Kara’s fierce face closely, “L-Corp has been very busy controlling the news direction and benefiting the most from it. Lena sold CatCo shares right when it peaked in the stock market and then-”

“This is ridiculous!” Kara threw her arms in the air.

“That’s not all of it!”

“You just don’t trust her because she’s a Luthor!”

“That’s not true. Kara, you need to listen-”

“No, I think I’ve heard enough.”

“Is everything alright?” Eliza asked, entering the room with a medical kit in her hands and a worried expression on her face, watching the two sisters who were standing stiffly and glaring at each other.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Kara said, unwilling to discuss anymore.

Eliza thankfully didn’t press them for an answer and only instructed Kara to lean to the cushions on her bed and prepared her right arm for taking her blood sample. Kara looked away as Eliza inserted the needle, refusing to watch, but also refusing to look at Alex in the eyes, who was sitting right beside her and holding her other hand. She squeezed her hand, feeling guilty for snapping at her over Lena. Of course, Alex wasn’t an unreasonable person and wouldn’t accuse their mutual friend without any proof, but Kara simply couldn’t accept that this could be true. She had too much faith in her friend to believe any of it.

Not a minute after Eliza finished her task and tended the tiny injection puncture with a small band-aid, Kara marched towards the front door and put on her robes again, ready to get out.

“Kara? Where are you going, dear?” Alura asked her and Kara saw the deep concern in those affectionate brown eyes of her mother. Kara realized that she was as terrified as herself at the idea of abandonment. 

“Just going to see the old library, it’s still around, right?” Kara replied calmly, aiming to assure her worried mother.

“Yes, but most of the holograms don’t work anymore. They ran out of battery years ago.”

“That’s fine, I just want to see that place again,” Kara said as she opened the door.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Kara?” Alura put her hand on her arm, the other still gripping the doorknob.

“I’m okay, mom. Don’t worry. Just need to be alone for a few hours,” Kara stroked her hand over hers and offered a smile. Alura nodded and returned the smile, although it didn’t reach her eyes. Her hand slipped away as Kara walked outside. Kara’s heart throbbed at the unbearable sight of her mournful eyes and turned away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ya'll. thank you so much for all your support, your infinite patience with me and reading this chapter. I hope you liked it. I didn't spend much time on editing this chapter so I hope it wasn't that bad. This chapter was getting so long so I had to break it into two parts and yes, I'm a huge Jane Austin fan, deal with it XD I had no better option for the chapter title.
> 
> Anyway, sorry if I overdo it with some parts getting too cheesy with all the sisterly feels and motherly hugs. I miss those iconic Danvers Sister moments and I miss the Kara I once knew. Also, I miss my own mom very much and maybe I projected it in the story, yes well I hope I could show how important all these people are in Kara's life.
> 
> And about the big reveal with Lena... I know it seems Kara was too reluctant and unfair to just not take Alex's words for it, and believe me I'm all for Kara standing her ground, but to me her character here still considers Lena her friend so it's a different take on what Season 5 has been going. you'll see a lot more about this in the next chapter, so don't worry.
> 
> I hope I can update soon again, but honestly, at this point I can't promise anything. Still writing the thesis and it just got even harder... know that I always will return and finish my works. I haven't abandoned any of my works, even The Moon Fortress which hasn't been updated in over 2 years... yeah it's embarrassing but I've been through a lot with uni so I haven't always had time or motivation to write some works. but I will eventually return to them. Fingers Crossed I survive both the pandemic and my thesis
> 
> Cheers and stay safe everyone


	14. Sense and Sensibility - Part II

* * *

_ “They're a rotten lot," I shouted, across the lawn. "You're worth the whole damn bunch put together.”  _

_ Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby _

* * *

Kara huffed loudly as she let go of the book in her hands. It landed on the table next to a small pile of books with a loud thud that echoed in the deserted library, making her wince - and cough as her action sent a cloud of ancient dust speckles spreading into the air. It was proving impossible to keep the train of her thoughts in line when none of the few remaining scientific pieces of literature in the archive managed to keep her interested for more than a few minutes. 

Kara let her gaze wander around for a moment, reliving her memories of the place from so long ago. 

The central library of Argo was a magnificent, yet simple, geometrical structure, designed to exhibit the glory of the advancement level Krypton had achieved. It resembled a pentagon, much like a Kryptonian glyph, with each side dedicated to a specific branch in science and separate entrances. That was at least how Kara remembered it since the destruction of the planet had wrecked almost half of the architecture, leaving behind a pile of rubble in most parts. She followed the only clear path through the boulders, and had walked through the once automatic gates, barely held on the hinges and covered in rust.

The interior of the grand library, unlike Kara’s expectation, was much better preserved. The eastern wing, the only standing section, was divided from the rest of the area with a protective wall - A visibly new addition after the fall of Krypton - in order to keep the only intact literature safe.

As Alura had mentioned, most of the holograms didn’t work anymore. Some fizzled out the moment Kara turned them on, thus she searched deeper for the only physical books Argo owned. She removed them from their encasing, enjoying the tickling sensation of ancient papers against her fingertips cautiously. Something she wasn’t allowed to do when she visited the library as a child. Kara smiled to herself, remembering the strict librarian who always glared at her the moment she stepped too close to these rare books. Kara sure had made herself a bad reputation with him after sneaking one of the books back home with herself without permission once. Her smile fell, thinking that he too must have perished when Krypton fell.

But even having her hands on these once forbidden books hadn’t been successful in distracting her from the weight of troubling thoughts. She felt lost in a way she hadn’t felt in years, facing yet again a drastic change in her life and she didn’t know how to keep calm or where to seek wisdom from.

“I could  _ really  _ use your help right now,” Kara whispered with closed eyes, calling onto Red Daughter. She was desperate and since talking to her in that place, it seemed that only she was able to see through her personal conflicts like no one else. “Please, please, please…” She pleaded to no avail. She had no idea how she could contact Red Daughter. Maybe it only worked if she were asleep, but then again, how had it worked before when her body had been snatched while being wide awake?

Kara sighed and gave up. Covering her face with both hands, Kara leaned her elbows to the table and remained that way, resigned and clueless. How was she going to gain control over anything now? Did she ever have control over anything, to begin with?

“You Kryptonians and your libraries…” A voice suddenly sneered.

Kara snapped her head towards the door to the eastern wing and saw Mon-El’s tall figure walking towards her with an amused smile curving his lips and hands shoved securely in his pockets. 

“Oh, is this too boring for your Royal Daxamite taste, now?” Kara shot back with equal sarcasm, not missing a beat. Seeing his familiar relaxed posture and hearing his trademark undignifying cheeky banter, brought a nostalgic smile to her own face involuntarily. 

His laugh rang through the otherwise hollow space and Kara’s heart constricted, realizing how much she had been missing that melodic sound. “Total waste of space! Imagine all the grand balls that could’ve been held here,” Mon-El remarked with the shake of his head, gesturing at the empty space in front of him with outstretched arms to emphasize on his point. He then did a twirl as if he were on an open dance floor, holding onto an imaginary dance partner and moved to unhearable notes. Kara was left awestruck with her breath caught in the chest as she became captivated by the grace of his posture and the delicacy with which he placed his feet and the gentle waves of his hands. Very clearly educated. He finished his little show with a bow in her direction.

“You Daxamites and your obsession with parties!” Kara stood up with her hands on her hips and eyed him through narrow eyelids, not very pleased with his overly satisfied grin, while inside, her heart flipped, pounding with the memory of their first dance. The flush on her chicks betrayed her feign expression of annoyance. “Did my mother send you?” She asked, knowing she had been away for a good few hours, enough for others to start looking for her.

“I’m here to escort you back to your tower, my lady,” He spoke in his fluent Kryptonian accent, just as he had been from the beginning. 

As he marched closer and into a patch of late afternoon sunlight, however, her wide smile faltered momentarily, morphing into a stunned look as she saw the blue shirt he was wearing. 

“What’s wrong?” Mon-El asked, his gleeful eyes turning a shade darker as he immediately noticed the change on her face. 

Kara blinked a few times, staring at the emblem of House of El on his chest. “It- it’s nothing…” She dropped her gaze from him immediately, busying herself with the books to avoid his questioning stare.

“Kara,” He persisted in that soft whisper that always cracked through her defenses, no matter how tall she built her walls. She made the mistake of looking into his gentle stormy eyes when he came closer to stand right in front of her. Any excuse she was attempting to weaver shredded apart, leaving behind honesty.

“That shirt belonged to my father,” She said quietly, almost hoping that he didn’t hear her.

Mon-El drew in a deep breath and fell quiet for a moment. “Kara, I am so sorry. I had no idea. I found this in the guest room your mother -”

“No, no. It’s ok. You don’t have to apologize,” She rushed to stop his apology. He had taken it the wrong way as she had feared. Hesitantly, she reached forward, patting him on the shoulder and offering a warm smile again to ease his mind, one he was quick to reciprocate as he remained motionless under her touch. “It suits you,” she murmured as her hand glided down the soft navy blue fabric, reaching for the proud coat of arms engraved at the center of his chest, over his heart. She took a step back and took him in. “It fits you perfectly,” She said once more with an edge of surprise. She hadn’t meant it in the literal sense as she did notice how his broad shoulders were stretching the fabric around his collarbones, and the way his muscular biceps pulled at the upper sleeves slightly. The shirt was not specifically designed for a person with the trained physique of a superhero, but a man of science. However, apart from those minor imperfections, the formal Kryptonian garment had enveloped his form quite pleasantly and fitting. It was a drastic change from the earthly wardrobe she was so used to see him in. It once again reminded her of his Daxamite heritage and the fact that he must have been used to dress in such formal semi-Kryptonian fashion much more than those tight jeans and plaid shirts he wore on Earth. Suddenly she could see the prince in him. The prince he was meant to be but was buried unjustly under tyranny, humiliation, and ignorance. Long was gone the inexperience clouding his eyes, replaced by unflinching purpose and a wisdom that gave him a mature and humble aura. The heavy wisdom weighing down his shoulders. She could easily imagine him wearing a crown and bring justice and prosperity to his people on Daxam, if given the second chance. He could have been the one who led Daxam into a new free world. The king they needed the most in the tipping point of their history and the king they deserved.

Kara suddenly realized the very long revering stare she had been giving him and blushed pink as she met his cryptic ocean of grey before hastily withdrawing her hands and diverting her eyes back to the books on the table nervously. He had remained silent and compliant the entire time, merely watching her silent inspection.

“Sorry… I was just…” She trailed off, unable to finish and tried to busy herself by piling the books again. “I’ll just take these back into their casing,” She gathered the books and walked away from him quickly, practically fleeing and successfully escaping his quizzical look.

Mon-El to Kara’s relief neither followed nor questioned her further. Upon returning, she found him standing in front of a pedestal with a marble bust, reading an engraving on a platinum sheet that was installed beneath it. The tall window behind the carved structure was mimicking an altar with perfect geometrical angles.

“... A tribute to Val-El... Val-El?” He wondered quietly to himself, unaware of Kara standing right behind him. 

“My great great grandfather,” Kara explained.

“Oh yes, Val-El. I think I remember him from my history lessons back on Daxam. The great scientist once accused of treason and was executed for it,” 

“Yeah, that’s him,” Kara nodded.

“What did he do?”

“Well, there are two versions of the story actually,” Kara thought back to what she had read about Val-El in the database while learning history in school and how her father and uncle later corrected her, bashing the altered narrative taught to her. “In the official version, approved by the high council of Krypton, it’s said that Val-El was inventing and building weapons in a secret lab and conspiring with Daxamite counterparts without informing the council, suggesting an attempted coup d'etat. So, they executed him by banishing him to Phantom Zone like all the other criminals but later my grandfather Seg-El pleaded with the council and he was pardoned, restoring our family’s honor and a place in the high council.”

“And the real version?” Mon-El prompted.

Kara tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she contemplated telling him the true story while it had stayed strictly a secret amongst the El’s for generations. She was warned not to speak of it in the presence of outsiders yet things were different now and Krypton was gone. “The truth is that Val-El sought to form a truce treaty with the help of an emissary from Daxam to end the wars between our planets and the supposed weapons were just new efficient cargo ships, transmatter portals and medical inventions as peace offerings. but the council didn’t like that. War was what they benefited from, so they sent him to Phantom Zone, confiscated all his findings and stripped the El household from all their social rights. But Seg-El led a revolution against the high council and took back what was taken from our house, restored honor for Va-El despite all the false accusations, and changed many things on Krypton, improving the broken system,” Kara paused before adding, “Though not everything …”

“The war still continued with Daxam,” Mon-El correctly guessed.

“Yes. Seg-El and his followers could only do so much. The war ended in a stalemate. A fragile illusion of peace for the rest of the history of our planets,” Kara finished.

Mon-El was quiet for a moment as though in deep thought before shaking his head, “No, I disagree.”

“What?” Kara looked at Mon-El astonished.

“The war between Daxam and Krypton is over for good,”

“Well, yeah,” Kara rolled her eyes. “You can’t have a war when both parties are mostly dead,”

“No, Kara. That’s not what I meant,” He walked up to her and hesitantly reached to hold her hands in his. “Daxam and Krypton aren’t dead. Our histories were never over. We are still alive and we ended the thousand years war between our planets. We continue the history.”

Kara gaped at the insightfulness of Mon-El’s words, feeling her chest swelling with pride and admiration. She nodded at him profusely and squeezed his hands, letting him know physically how much she agreed with the idea that they had gone beyond their differences and the misconceptions of their cultures to form an alliance when for centuries the mere idea of a union between Krypton and Daxam was a threat to the people in power. They had done, what was once assumed the impossible, by standing hand in hand right in front of the statue of Val-El, fulfilling a notion conceived about two centuries ago.

They couldn’t help but beam at each other and hold onto each other’s hands for a few more seconds before slipping away. Kara was still burning with questions she had meant to ask him from the moment he had appeared in her room when she had woken up, but she decided that it wasn’t the right time.

“We should go, it’s getting late,” Kara finally said, noticing the length of the shadows elongating against the tiled flooring. Mon-El simply nodded and followed her as she headed for the exit. Kara stepped into the main hallway, taking a left to go around the fallen pillars and once again flinching at the sight of the entirely ruined northern wing of the library that was giving a clear view to the lands and the sky behind the building. The echo of their footsteps was eerie and intruding, as if walking through a haunted cemetery and maybe this place was indeed now a cemetery. A burial for once the heart of knowledge and research.

Neither spoke for a while as Kara led their way back home. Despite her  expectations, the silence between them was neither awkward nor annoying. Maybe it was because of the new connection she had just found with him but with each step towards home, she was being pulled further into the reality she had been able to escape from for just a few hours. She wondered how she could drag the fifteen minute long walk into another hour.

As if reading her thoughts, Mon-El cleared his throat, “So, I heard Alex told you about our findings on L-Corp.”

“Yes, she did,” Kara sighed loudly, not sure she wanted to hear more, even though she knew she had to. “She mentioned you have proof too.”

“Kara, I know this is hard to understand.”

“Actually, it’s not as hard to understand as it is to believe.”

“I know, I didn’t want it to be true either.”

Kara stopped in her tracks and turned to face Mon-El. “What did you find?” She asked as she folded her arms tightly over her chest, bracing herself to hear what they knew. “Why did your hack the L-Corp servers?”

Mon-El told her about the suspicious army kryptonite that J’onn had kept and recounted the things that led them to finding her in an explosive flare state.

“But that had nothing to do with Lena! You said it yourself that the Kryptonite wasn’t synthetic,” Kara reasoned.

“Yes, but what happened afterward changed our minds,” Mon-El urged her to be patient as he was about to reveal to her the second half of the story.

“You mean when the entire world found out who I am?”

Mon-El nodded. “Lena sold CatCo less than a day before the news of your identity was broadcasted,”

“She did what?!”

“She sold CatCo to Andrea Rojas, CEO of Obsidian North and by breaking the news, they tipped the stock markets in their favor by the ripple the news sent into the world.”

“How is that even relevant?”

“Well, I don’t really get how stock markets work on Earth, but -”

“No, I mean how did you connect this to Lena being the one who sold me out? So far it sounds more like this Andrea Rojas person is the one who knew my secret,”

“Oh, but you see, Andrea Rojas isn’t just any businesswoman, she is, as Brainy very quickly found out, an old friend of Lena and she had reached out to Andrea about two months ago, right after your whole debacle with Lex Luthor and Kaznia,”

“Again, I don’t see your point.”

“Let’s take this conversation to the Legion ship, it’d be easier to show you there,” He sighed and motioned for her to follow him. They walked in a different direction, with Mon-El taking the lead this time as he continued his explanation, “We couldn’t actually get into her main servers. It’s not possible, not without an inside breach. She’s been protecting her secrets much better than you’d expect.”

“Lena doesn’t have secrets! She tells me everything,” Kara shook her head.

Mon-El glanced back with an arched brow. “Aren’t you forgetting everything that happened with Reign and the synthetic Kryptonite incident?”

Kara couldn’t come up with a proper answer to his question.

“From what Alex told me, she’s been busy last year experimenting with Harun-El as well, even forming a contract with the US military to help them create Super Soldiers.”

“That was not what she was after, she was looking for a cure for cancer. Hold on, what contract? What are you talking about?”

“Well, from what we found in the branch server L-Corp uses for its ‘front’ business, Lena had been meeting with different special agents or liaisons from the army for quite some time now. All under fake names of course but Brainy and Winn were able to identify these people and then there were all the money flow and shippings of a mysterious serum along with anti-alien tech from L-Corp storage facilities across the county to military facilities.”

Kara listened to him explaining all these in disbelief, so lost in her raging thoughts that didn’t even notice the enormous spaceship at the edge of a forest. At their approach, an inclined bridge from the frame of the ship unfolded automatically with a mechanical hiss, granting them entrance. The white glow casting from the interior of the ship was a stark difference to the now completely dark surroundings and reminded Kara of all those Spielberg movies she used to love watching with Alex growing up.

“Ladies first,” Mon-El prompted and Kara gave him an incredulous look with a chuckle as she stepped on the bridge and into the cool light.

The interior of the Legion Cruiser was the same as she remembered from the last time she had said goodbye to Mon-El when he left after Reign’s defeat. One could argue that she never had a good memory of this ship, except of course the initial joyous shock of finding Mon-El alive in it after thinking him gone forever. The duo followed a trail of light and made it to the empty commanding center of the ship without any words. Screens turned on, blinking and showing maps or numbers, Kara had no clue of. Mon-El proceeded towards a console and activated his access. with a few swaps and pointings, a holographic page materialized in the glass in front of him. “Here, these are the emails, contracts and appointments reports we found,” He showed Kara the many interactions and evidence they had found on Lena’s strange visitors. “Go ahead and check them out, I’m going to call the house and let them know where we are,” He said and walked away, giving Kara some space. 

As she scrolled through the documents, she heard Mon-El quietly talking to someone, Alex probably. She had completely forgotten that they were supposed to be back at home by now and had probably worried her poor mother even further with her absence. She sighed in frustration. It could take hours for Kara to go through all of it without her speed powers. “Look, I get it, she is working for the government and probably sold them that fake Harun-El, but how did she know I was Supergirl? How do you know it was her?” She asked Mon-El, needing him to cut to the chase.

He walked forward and swiped widely on the screen and forced the pages to change fast in a blur. It slowed down gradually and finally finding what he had been looking for, Mon-El used his index finger to catch a picture.

Kara gasped.

“Alex had the same reaction,” Mon-El claimed.

“He’s one of the agents who interviewed me!” Kara stared at the biometric picture of the grumpy agent who had tormented her with his twisted words that day.

“Interviewed? Alex mentioned interrogation,” Mon-El scoffed in confusion.

“What is his picture doing here?”

“This man, or agent, has met Lena on four separate occasions. All guised under normal random business deals with an alias but Winn found out he actually works for the military as you well know,” Mon-El explained.

“What could Lena possibly be meeting him about?”

“This man has been behind all the army deals I mentioned earlier.”

“What else did you find?”

Mon-El did another swap and pulled up a document. An L-Corp project manifestation for a children’s hospital issued just a few months ago. “This is one of the new projects we found on the server that’s been given a green light by Lena, allowing her to pull out resources and fundings for building a hospital for children with cancer in National City but Brainy dug deeper and found out this project hasn’t been even started as planned despite the giant purchase of construction material along with a strangely huge amount of Nth metal bars.”

“What…”

Mon-El paused to look at Kara seriously for a moment as if gauging her for her reaction to the words he was about to say. “The material was transported outside National City instead, to an uncharted location, used to build an underground construction specifically designed to hold in a Kryptonian. A new Cadmus site Lena was behind and which you were held at. In fact, Lena had known about your secret and had been planning to capture you for over two months now.”

“How do you know all this?” Kara gaped at him.

“From what we found while searching the Cadmus site.”

“What did you find?” Kara’s heart raced with anticipation.

“We hacked into their network after J’onn managed to plant the bug Brainy needed to infiltrate the system with and found out that someone had been stalking you, not just as Supergirl, but as Kara Danvers and,” Mon-El brushed over the glass one more time and Kara covered her mouth as pictures of her walking to work or back home flooded the screen. Someone had been taking pictures of her without her ever noticing.

“She knows everything about you, Kara,” Alex’s voice suddenly spoke and she turned to see Alex standing behind them with a mournful expression. She must have arrived just then and realized what they were talking about. “She’s behind this new Cadmus operation and we found all of your personal data on their servers. She’s been even feeding the army the same DEO methods we use to track you based on your signature solar radiation. ”

“Alex, how is this possible? How…” Kara paced the floor, unable to look at those pictures anymore. “Lillian must have told her! She knew about me. She gave me out to Lena!”

“It really doesn’t matter now,” Alex said. 

“But why doing this?! Why not just talk to me first?!”

“Because she’s never been good at talking things out,” Mon-El said but Kara wasn’t listening.

“She must’ve felt so betrayed… I should’ve told her sooner,” Kara twisted her hands together in guilt.

“No! This isn’t your fault, Kara! Don’t you dare!” Alex stepped in Kara’s path and held her by the shoulders, forcing Kara to look up into her passionate sharp eyes. 

“But you said once that I should let her in on my secret sooner, I just never found the right time or the courage -”

“Yes, but what Lena has been doing can’t be justified by your hesitation to share a secret! What she’s done to you is evil, Kara!”

“You make her sound like a villain.”

“Well, maybe because she is one!”

Kara dipped her chin and stared at the floor between their feet. Tears were burning her eyes, begging to be released but she fought them off for as long as she could. Just then Alex pulled her in a tight hug. “Please don’t blame yourself for any of this, Kara. I know it hurts. She was my friend too. At least I thought she was… I’m here for you,” Alex quietly said into her hair as she rubbed her back soothingly.

“We’re all here for you, Kara,” Mon-El echoed and Kara felt his warm fingers touching her shoulder in assurance.

Feeling their closeness gradually thawed the guilty and fearful ice in Kara’s heart and she managed to find control once more over her spiraling thoughts. “Thank you,” She said in the end, pulling out of the hug and giving them the strongest smile she could muster at that moment. “I’m truly grateful for having you by my side, more than ever now.” Alex gave her shoulder another squeeze. 

“I just… I just feel like I’ve let her down and lied to her just like how her family treated her… I was supposed to be her best friend and I betrayed her trust,” Kara admitted in a defeated voice.

Mon-El regarded the faint yet noticeable shade of red over Kara’s ocean blue eyes. “You know, Lena and I have a lot in common. We’ve both been betrayed by our own families. When the people who love you the most let you down, it just makes you feel so… so vulnerable. But my mother and the Luthors, they betrayed Lena for their own selfish reasons, they wanted to take advantage of her. You lied to protect her, because she’s your friend.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”

“Kara, no matter how many mistakes I’ve made, you’ve always forgiven me. You should know that you deserve the same compassion that you show others.”

Kara swallowed the lump in her impossibly tight throat, appreciating Mon-El’s comforting words.

“Come on, let’s all go back home now, enough of this for tonight,” Alex tugged on Kara’s sleeve and she obliged with a nod.

As the trio got off the ship and walked back towards Kara’s home, she couldn’t stop thinking about everything she had just heard. It was too much to wrap her head around it just after finding out that same morning that her life was completely changed forever. “But I don’t get one thing,” She wondered out loud, causing her other two companions to turn to her. “Why did she sell out my identity to the world like that? Wouldn’t it have been smarter to keep it to herself and try to catch me again later?”

“I wondered the same thing, but I have a theory,” Mon-El replied. “I think she was bitter that you got away like that so she was impulsive and tried to take her revenge like this.”

“Yeah, that could be it,” Alex agreed. “She’s hit a jackpot in Wall Street by selling all of the CatCo shares if you ask me and a spike in anti-alien tech purchases from L-Corp with all the conspiracy theories circulating again. It’s making up for all the damage you caused her billions of dollars worth of brand new Cadmus facility.”

Kara stopped dead, suddenly remembering her supernova solar flare again with a cold chill running down her spine. “I destroyed the entire site?”

Alex and Mon-El hadn’t realized Kara wasn’t walking along anymore and had fallen ahead. They both stopped immediately and turned to her, neither able to respond to her.

“How many?” Kara asked with a pounding heart.

“Kara, what -”

“How many died?”Her trembling yet demanding voice rose above the deafening silence of the night engulfing them.

Alex and Mon-El exchanged a worried look, but neither spoke as they avoided meeting Kara’s inescapable stare. Her heart dropped, clearly seeing the image of the two fallen men in surgical masks in her mind. She had pierced their chests with her uncontrollable heat vision. Who knew how many other people had died when she had blown up the building. “Oh, Rao, I killed them!” Kara’s hands started shaking. She could hear each thump of her heart booming against her earbuds loudly. The night sky started spinning out of control around her head, making her nauseous. She bent over, leaning to her knees with ragged breaths.

“Kara?” Alex’s call was heard as if from a far distance. “No, come on! Don’t do this to yourself! Breathe,” Her hands were on her back, trying to hold her.

“Kara?” Mon-El’s dark face appeared right below her bent down head as he crouched down, vibrating in her field of view. “She doesn’t look good, let’s take her back to…” The rest of his words were suffocated by the loud ringing in Kara’s ears. It didn’t matter at that moment, however, because she couldn’t breathe anymore.

Her vision came in and out erratically as she struggled to take air into her lungs fruitlessly. She felt like she was moving but her feet weren’t touching the soft grass anymore. Someone was carrying her. bright white lights suddenly were blinding her thus she screwed her eyes shut against the sharp stabs of pain they were sending to her head and moaned. Her head was swimming in every direction from the lack of air but her body was growing hotter by the second. Something was wrong. It didn’t feel like the usual panic attacks she experienced so frequently at Midvale High in the first year she had landed on Earth. Her throat was swollen and her tongue felt much bigger than it always felt like in her mouth.

She couldn’t make out the muffled conversations around her, but in a rare moment of clarity when her vision came back, Kara realized Mon-El was putting her into one of the healing tanks. The idea of being stuck in that confined space sent needles of horror into her mind and heart. With a rush of new strength, she squirmed against Mon-El’s hold, almost causing him to drop her with her sudden trashing. He understood her message instantly and backtracked his steps, taking her to a nearby bed instead. Kara succumbed to darkness shortly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you like this chapter. It took me quite some time to put it all together in a way that satisfied me more or less, but finally, I managed to do it ;)
> 
> There are some points I have to make: 
> 
> 1) I don't know why Karamel hurt me so much in my own story and don't talk about what they know they have to talk about already! soon I hope...  
> 2) The history lesson about Val-El was inspired by the show Krypton. Highly recommended if you haven't seen it yet.  
> 3) Supergirl 100th episode had barely 2 minutes of Mon-El and he still made yet another iconic line and I HAD to use it in my story here.  
> 4) Alura seems to be up to something...
> 
> Anyway, thank you again for your endless patience with me and I hope that cliffhanger doesn't bother you too much. I don't have any other written chapters and I don't think I can write until end of July when I finally graduate (hopefully), so hang in there and stay safe. XOXO


	15. Silent Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously on The Red Shadow:_
> 
> Kara, still struggling to find peace with Red Daughter's dark memories, finds out that Red Daughter has been alive inside her all along. Between blackouts, stolen jewelry, and the government pursuing Supergirl, Kara has no time to figure things out when the army kidnaps her and takes her to a new Cadmus facility.
> 
> While unconscious, Kara finds Red Daughter and together they learn about the possibility of Mikhail being still alive.
> 
> Brainy contacts the Legion, seeking Mon-El and Winn's help to save both Kara and Alex, to which they instantly respond. The rescue mission for Kara goes sideways when they find the place collapsing due to Kara's supernova solar flare, induced by Black Kryptonite injected into her.
> 
> The team seeks refuge on Argo, where Kara slowly heals while learning how Lena Luthor has betrayed her, but upon remembering her last moments at Cadmus, she falls ill from a terrible panic attack, remembering how her out of control heat vision has killed some people.

* * *

_“People disappeared, reappeared, made plans to go somewhere, and then lost each other, searched for each other, found each other a few feet away.”_

_Fitzgerald F. Scott, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

_“I’m so sorry...”_

A remorseful voice penetrated the continuous dreamless state of her stupor. A voice she knew by heart because it belonged to herself. With recognition thoughts and senses materialized as a response to her newly awakening consciousness. Her somber downcast face morphed into existence as the background brightened into a grey scenery of tall evergreen trees as though someone had switched on the lights.

Once again she was standing in front of Red Daughter, in the only place she had known as home. “What are you sorry for?” Kara asked or rather thought but it echoed as though spoken. 

“I wanted to protect your mind against the truth, the bitter truth,” Red Daughter balled her hands.

“The truth never hurts as much as secrets.”

“I know that now,” She nodded and finally raised her head to meet Kara’s eyes. “I just wanted to carry the burden for you. You shouldn’t blame yourself for their deaths. You didn’t mean it and _they_ were the ones hurting you,” She argued.

“That doesn’t change the truth. No one deserves that fate, no matter what they did.” 

“I’m starting to understand your perspective better now, but I hate to feel your pain. It’s as if my own, even worse,” Red Daughter hugged herself with a shiver that had nothing to do with the ambient temperature. They weren’t in the material world after all. They were merely two minds at conjunction and everything around them, including their bodies, were merely a projection of their comprehension and processing information.

“Same as I hate feeling your pain,” Kara smiled at Red Daughter. “It’s alright. You don’t have to take this burden.”

“Then at least let me share it with you,” She insisted and Kara sensed that she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Alright, but know that you don’t have to take my memories like that.”

“I’ll try not to intervene without your permission from now on.”

“How does this work now?” Kara motioned between them. “How can I even talk to you? Why can’t this happen when I’m awake and only when I’m asleep?”

“I’m not entirely sure either but ever since you have woken up, I’ve been feeling stronger and more awake.”

“Could it be the Black Kryptonite they injected me with at Cadmus?” Kara wondered.

“Could be, or maybe it happened because you saved me from the Dark Valley.”

“We aren’t in that place anymore, are we?” Kara spun around, taking in the wilderness surrounding them. 

Red Daughter shook her head, “No, I found myself here after you flared. It’s as if you have pulled me out of that dimension that was sucking out my existence.”

“That’s good...”

“But?” She read her like an open book.

“But I can’t decide what this could mean for us. Will we be sharing a body forever now?”

“I… I do not know, this is all brand new to me as well, but I promise I won’t try to take over your body again,” Red Daughter slouched her shoulders with a fearful expression and fidgeting fingers like a kicked puppy as if Kara had threatened to banish her away from her mind.

“Hey, it’s ok. You know that I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Kara rushed to ease the scared version of herself. “You’re always welcome in my mind. We’re gonna figure it out.”

Red Daughter’s shoulders eased with relief.

“So, do you know what exactly happened to me this time out there? Did you block anything again by any chance?” Kara asked Red Daughter.

“No,” She shook her head. “I didn’t do anything. All I know is that you got very sick all of a sudden with the trigger of the memory. It was a quiet powerful wave in here. I couldn’t feel anything else the entire time until you fainted.”

Kara exhaled loudly, “Then I guess we’ll have to hang out until I wake up again.”

Red Daughter smiled, “I’d like that,” She admitted excitedly. The poor girl had been so lonely.

Kara told Red Daughter about everything she had learned about her identity reveal and Lena’s involvement in everything that had happened to her. “Can you believe this?” Kara scoffed in disbelief. Unexpectedly, however, Red Daughter didn’t seem even slightly surprised. 

“Ehm, actually yes,” She replied and when Kara gave her confused look, she continued, “I can completely believe Lena being capable of all you said, because,” She paused as if contemplating her words. “Because I saw Lena visiting the nightclub a few times to meet with some of the regulars.”

Kara gaped at Red Daughter as if the shock had hit her all over again. “She- what?” Kara stuttered on every word, indecisive about which question to ask first. “What business could she possibly have with _those_ people?” She finally asked, knowing fully well from Red Daughter memories, the kind of men she referred to as the regulars at the Dark Horse nightclub.

“She was marketing her new anti-alien tech to them. She doesn’t want to sell them on L-Corp front market since she knows the kind of message it sends, so she tried to convince those dealers, which she always did, over a few super-expensive drinks and lip bites,” She added with a humorless smirk.

Kara rubbed her forehead at hearing this. “This is just… It's like I’ve never known Lena. It’s as if you’re talking about a whole other person”

“Maybe she is, Kara. I was really curious about her at first after Lex told me how she had let him down. I tried to keep tabs on her before Eve Tessmacher figured me out. She is a Luthor after all, just like Lex. They are all two-faced.”

“But I thought she was my friend, both as Kara and Supergirl. I thought our friendship had helped her see right from wrong.”

“I know you always want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but some people just don’t deserve it, because they don’t want to see a better way out of their own way of thinking. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed.”

“But I have to at least try.” 

“Of course, you do,” Red Daughter nodded at her with a knowing smile. 

A ripple was felt in the air, something shifting, and Kara instantly knew what it meant as she shot up to her feet. “I’m waking up,” She didn’t know how she knew it, she just felt it.

“Oh, alright… I hope I see you soon?” Red Daughter asked sheepishly, standing as well.

“Yes, hopefully soon,” She managed to answer, before her vision faded into darkness and back to another white scenery. The blank whiteness of the Legion ship’s ceiling stared back at her. Kara blinked a few times at the passive scenery, fighting the grogginess that bargained with her to go back to just a few more minutes of sleep.

“Kara?” A voice made her turn her head and sure enough, Alex was sitting vigilantly on her right side. A quick glance at their surroundings told her that they were alone in the Legion ship’s infirmary.

“Alex,” Kara called back and scrambled to sit up which proved to be more difficult than she expected due to the weakness she felt in her bones. The kind of weariness she had only felt after wrestling with Draggar, the Warworld gladiator.

“Easy there,” Alex leaned forward to help and Kara couldn’t help but reach to hug her. Alex hugged her back. “You scared us for a minute there with that panic attack,” She whispered.

“Sorry, I don’t know what happened. They never got this bad,” Kara apologized, pulling back from Alex.

“That’s because it wasn’t just a panic attack,”

“What do you mean?”

“Your panic attack triggered an allergic reaction to the Black Kryptonite still in your system.”

Kara sighed and leaned back into her pillow. She had thought that was over, but apparently not. “Is this going to be a reoccurring thing?”

“I hope not,” Alex knitted her brows in concern. “Mom and I are working on a serum that boosts your immune system against it. It helps a lot that we’re on Argo and have full access to your people’s knowledge on Kryptonian anatomy. That, and Brainy’s full knowledge about Daxamite lead allergy reactions. Since your DNAs are so similar, I’m sure we can help you recover soon. It’s like finding a treasure trove! In fact, I think I will make a copy of everything they have for future needs when we go back.”

Kara felt her stomach drop at Alex’s last words. “You really think we can ever go back after what’s happened?” She asked weakly.

“We’ll find a way, Kara,” Alex squeezed her arm gently in reassurance. “Even if it takes a long time, we’re all in this together.”

Kara nodded at her gratefully. “I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you when you tried to tell me Lena was behind all of this.”

Alex shook her head, “It’s ok, Kara. I know how hard this must be for you. You thought she was your friend. To tell you the truth, I‘m not even that surprised. Lena hasn’t been exactly an honest person”

“You sound just like Red Daughter.”

Alex’s brow rose up to her hairline, “I sound like her? hold on, Kara, are you still in contact with her?!”

Kara felt self-conscious as if she had slipped out a secret and squirmed in her place before answering. “Well, kinda? I can talk to her in my sleep. She’s, ehm… well she’s not in that dimension anymore.”

Alex didn’t say anything as she digested the information Kara had just dropped on her with an intense stare. “She,” She cleared her throat. “She isn’t going to snatch your body again, is she?” There was a sharp suspicious gleam in Alex’s eyes.

“Oh, no. She wouldn’t. She gave me her word and I trust her. We trust each other,” Kara assured.

Alex nodded, yet didn’t appear completely convinced. Kara saw this chance to change the conversation. “So, did I miss dinner?” Kara teased, having no clue how much time she had lost this time around.

“Yes, but there is still time for a midnight snack,” Alex answered with a snicker, hinting that she had been sleeping only for a few hours.

“We should go back then,” Kara said as she pushed back her blanket but Alex stopped her.

“No, I think it’s best if you stay here for tonight for observation.”

“I don’t want to worry my mom any more than this, Alex. I’ve already been away far too long, she’s probably not going to sleep tonight with me here like this,” Kara pleaded with Alex.

Alex studied Kara’s face, weighing her argument until she sighed and nodded, “Ok, I guess we can set Kalex to observe your condition through the night like before,” She relented with a roll of her eyes. Alex shortly left Kara alone, claiming she was going to find them a transport.

Kara sighed once she left, and for the first time since waking up wondered where Mon-El was. Just then a faint mewl disrupted her thoughts. The sound was coming from the other side of the infirmary that was hidden under the veil of darkness. The mewls doubled in protest with weak scratching sounds, alarming her slightly. Kara pushed herself off the bed, wobbling a little on her unsteady feet and approached the mystery source of noises with squinting eyes. The mewls turned into feral cries and to her astonishment, Kara thought she even heard flapping sounds against metal. 

The cacophony of the little screeches triggered something in her memory and images appeared in her mind. Old images.

“It can’t be…” Kara exclaimed with a pounding heart as she stopped in front of the big container situated on the counter, still shrouded by solid shadows.

Just then, the doors to the infirmary opened with a quiet hiss and Kara, while hypnotized by the sounds, didn’t need to look over her shoulders to know it was Mon-El, recognizing his heavier footfalls. 

“Kara? Did they disturb you? I’m so sorry -”

“Mon-El…. is that… is that what I think it is?” Kara stuttered, unable to take her gaze off of what she thought she had found there of all places.

“Lights on,” Mon-El commanded the room instead of directly answering her.

The corner of the infirmary lit up in a dim soft orange glow, resembling Rao’s original shade, and Kara gasped softly as she finally met the object - or rather objects - of her wonderment. Two small Garata hatchlings were staring back at her with demanding pairs of azure and emerald orbs, momentarily fallen silent at her sudden appearance, but upon locating Mon-El with their hungry narrow slit irises, they started fussing and flapping their tiny wings even louder than before in thrill.

“It’s feeding time,” Mon-El provided with a chuckle as he reached for a small can next to the glass container. The scratchy chirps turned into pitch squeals as he opened the lid above them and dropped two equal portions of meat inside. A needless wrestle ensued over who was going to get fed first even though there was enough food for them both. “No, hey, come on guys, no fighting,” Mon-El chided the rivaling siblings in Daxamite and tried separating them at the risk of getting bitten with tiny but sharp fangs. Kara watched wide-eyed as Mon-El talked and tended to these presumably extinct creatures softly. He was a natural, changing their bedding and refilling their water dispenser as if he had done it regularly before. 

It didn’t take long for the two little scaly beasts to devour their late dinner and dozed off on top of each other in the middle of another round of play wrestling this time. Only when Mon-El was sure that the hatchlings were asleep, he found the chance to turn to Kara who was still mesmerized by the sight of snoring baby dragons, her fascinated gaze chasing the small puffs of smoke rising from their delicate snouts.

“Sorry about that, they’re quite a handful,” Mon-El apologized and scratched the back of his neck with a self-conscious laugh. 

“I can see that,” Kara nodded, a million questions forming in her head. “How- where did you find them?”

“They were... I found them at Cadmus,” Mon-El said hesitantly and instantly dropped his eyes from hers, afraid that he had instigated bad memories for Kara.

Kara’s heart dropped just imagining what those babies could have gone through in that Rao-forsaken place, and then remembering that Lena was behind that institution made her blood boil with anger. “Were they badly hurt?” Kara scanned across their dark but partially reflective scales with quizzical eyes even though she hadn’t noticed any scars so far.

“No, no, they were ok. Just scared,” Mon-El assured instantly.

“What about my flare? Did I hurt any other trapped aliens too?” Kara’s voice dropped considerably in fear as she remembered everything again.

“No, Kara, you didn’t hurt anyone, there weren't any other captives there beside you three,” Mon-El shook his head and nodded at the asleep dragons.

“I didn’t hurt anyone? Mon-El I killed people!” Her voice cracked.

“No, Kara, that wasn’t your fault! They brought this on themselves!” The grey storm of Mon-El’s eyes sparkled with anger at her captivators. He stepped closer, claiming her full attention.

“That is no excuse...” Kara walked away, not wishing to wake up the peacefully resting dragons and not wanting to hear Mon-El saying the same thing Red Daughter had told her not so long ago to justify her actions.

“Kara,” He implored quietly with a breathy voice. She felt him standing right behind her, could feel him reaching but not daring to touch.

“How many?” Kara asked again, the same unanswered question from before her panic attack interrupted.

Mon-El didn’t reply instantly, and Kara waited impatiently with her back to him until he relented with a silent sigh. “Five,” He whispered hoarsely.

Kara turned to face his downcast eyes with balled hands to stop them from shaking. “And that is including the two I incinerated with my heat vision?”

He only nodded solemnly, meeting her repentant dark eyes. 

“I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight. let’s just go home,” She stated and headed for the door. 

Mon-El didn’t argue. He simply turned off the lights cascading the hatchlings and followed her outside.

The trio got themselves back to Kara’s childhood home by riding an automated electric carriage used for transporting supplies, courtesy of Kalex. Not a single word was spoken during their transit and for the rest of that night.

***

Kara waved at Lois and Clark one last time before leaving their house. It had been almost two days since she had found out about Lena, and since then, she had been mostly on bed rest per Eliza’s non-negotiable prescription. No one had brought up any of what had been spoken and thought that night. In fact, she had barely seen anyone except for her mother and often Alex since that night. Everyone seemed to be pretty preoccupied with their own tasks and only showed up for meals. Eliza and Alex were working on a serum to cure her allergic reaction to Black Kryptonite, while Mon-El, Winn and Brainy spent all their time in her father’s deserted lab, working on something they weren’t ready to share yet. J’onn, on the other hand, was usually found either mingling with the locals, checking out and giving tips for repairing the damaged infrastructures of Argo, or rediscovering forgotten literature in the library.

As she walked back towards home by herself, the path led Kara to the now familiar marketplace, vibrating with life, colors and sweet scents. Any eyes that didn’t miss the lone figure of the last daughter of El, clad in a dark blue robe, sparked with a smile, followed by a greeting call or a waving hand in her direction. Kara tried to reciprocate each kind citizen in the sincerest way possible, despite not recognizing their many faces. Somehow it wasn’t entirely dissimilar to acknowledging the people of National City when she touched the ground in a crowded spot, yet the gazes weren’t as lingering, marveled, or expecting. They were fleeting, natural, and safe.

Kara sighed heavily as soon as she left the market. She was happy that she had found the chance to get out of the house and pay back a promised visit to the Kents, but many unspoken thoughts were weighing down on her mind and shoulders. She had never felt as helpless as she did in that moment, in the span of her entire life. Without her powers on Argo, she was no more than a casual citizen, perhaps even less than a citizen, considering she had no defined role in this society, unlike how she had built a life and reputation both as Kara Danvers and Supergirl on Earth. On Argo, Kara Zor-El was just a deceased name, resurrected without any actual meaning or power attached to it. Being an El no longer held the same privileges it once possessed. In the new Argo, everyone was equal and earned their stripes by working hard to keep the place livable and contributing to society with their skills. Who was Kara here? What part did she play in the betterment of her true home? Could she really find her place here now that she had to forget about Kara Danvers and start anew once again? How could she forget the life she had led on Earth, her second home? How could she accept that she no longer had the power to help people? How could she forget for a second about the lost little boy whose life had been ruined because of an old grudge? How could she live with herself, knowing that Mikhail was perhaps waiting for someone to find him, everyday, to be reunited with his mother? A mother who without a doubt was worried sick about her son, or worse, assumed him to be dead. She would give anything to make things right just for one last time.

Kara stopped with ragged breathing and wiped at the sudden tears that had sprung to her eyes as overwhelming emotions crushed her heart like a ton of bricks. When an involuntary sob broke loose from her throat, Kara clasped a shaking hand to her mouth in a failed attempt to stop the outpour of her pain and absolute helplessness. Through blurry vision, Kara let her feet take over her shattered mind instead and soon she found herself in the haunted desolation of the shrine of the fallen Kryptonians. 

A place that held the most sorrowful memories of her kind. A history Kara would rather avoid recalling, however, the solitude engulfing her proved enough to ease her mind slightly, momentarily.

She walked around the memorial with quiet steps that widely contradicted her racing mind and heart. Each name engraved into the golden plates resembled a soul reunited in Rao’s light for eternity. Out of habit, Kara started reciting the prayer for the dead as her fingers caressed the names she both recognized or did not. Her murmuring voice trembled many times over the familiar names swallowed by the tall forlorn walls surrounding her.

“You have been the sun of our lives... Our prayers will be your sun that lights your way on the journey home. We will remember you in every dawn-”

Kara’s voice broke with a heart-wrenching sob as her fingertips found the letters forming her father’s name right next to uncle Jor-El and aunt Lara.

“... and await the night we join you in the sky.” Fingers still caressing the dents shaped into the bitter cold platinum, her tears fused with the rest of mournful prayer with a bowed head as she lost herself to the melancholy within. “Raos will be done...”

In the deepest depth of her throbbing heart, Kara realized that she had never recovered from the grief she bore all this time. No matter how long it had been, losing her world and her parents - rather her father now that Rao had blessed her - was not something one could simply move on from. The pain never lessened, it merely became familiar. A part of who she was.

What pulled her back to the living world once more was the gentle touch on her shoulder and the scent of the mother she had cried to for many nights. Her embrace cradled Kara’s shaking body and eased her sobs in quiet weeping. Soft hands stroked her hair for the longest time until the tears dried, and numbness saturated her senses and mind, as it usually did after grieving.

“ _Karah_ ,” Alura put a kiss on her head, her hold on her daughter never loosening. “Khuhp e inah,” _My daughter_ , she whispered in Kryptonese.

Reluctantly and slowly, Kara pulled back just enough to meet her mother’s eyes, filled with similar tears. One look into her deep sorrowful brown irises and she knew no words of enlightenment were necessary. A single glimpse at the constant grief settled in her features told Kara more than she ever wanted to know. The loss, the pain, and the torment of surviving when your loved ones didn’t. No matter the time and distance between them, Kara more than saw that her mother had not suffered less than herself if not more.

A long minute was spent in silence as Kara simply remained unmoving in her mother’s arms, letting her nostalgic scent calming her, and assuring herself of her warm unwavering presence while enclosed by the names of people who no longer existed in her realm.

When another quiet minute passed, Kara finally gathered her bearings and pulled away. “How… how did you know I was here?” She asked.

“When you didn’t return in time, I asked Kalex to search for you, but even then I had a feeling,” Alura replied, still keeping her hold on Kara’s arms. 

Kara nodded with a tight throat. “I’m so sorry, I just…”

“You don’t have to explain.” In her face Kara didn’t see irritation, rather worry. “I used to come here very often back when it was newly built, about a year after the fall. Your father’s name wasn’t still here when it was built,” She spoke calmly as she took a few steps away and stopped in front of Zor-El’s name and raised a hand to touch the glyphs, mirroring her daughter. Kara occupied her side with a hand touching her shoulder in support. It was only then when she noticed her own name, engraved below his father’s name. Her astonishment didn’t go unnoticed by her mother.

“He… he didn’t want your name here, neither did, I because that would’ve meant that you...” Alura’s voice grew feeble with a quiver as she stopped herself before revealing too much of her mourning process, and she didn’t need to explain either. Kara knew perfectly well what she meant and squeezed her shoulder in the show of her support and understanding. Alura touched her hand in gratitude before continuing, “But when your father passed away and they had to carve his name here… many people convinced me that it would be appropriate to add your name as well after the funeral. I didn’t want to at first, but then… If I only knew...” She trailed off apologetically with a stutter and Kara sensed her tears rushing forth again.

“Leiu,” _Mom_ , Kara tried to comfort her. “It’s ok. I understand… I lost faith as well,” She hugged her tight again to convey her sympathy.

“I… I have filed a request for adding Astra’s name here as well,” Alura revealed to Kara’s absolute surprise.

“I...” Kara’s attempt to conceal the tremor in her voice along with the falling of her tears both proved in vain. “Mom, I didn’t want any of it to happen… I tried to reason with her, I swear to Rao I tried,”

“I know my love, I know you did,” Alura cupped her cheeks softly and wiped away the persistent tears. “I only thank Rao that you were with her during her last moments.” Tears brimmed in her mother’s eyes, threatening to break loose once more. She was barely keeping it together, Kara could see and it broke her heart. “I’m so sorry for all that I put you and Astra through. It was wrong, but I only did what I thought was right... I didn’t know any better.” The shake in her voice was inevitable.

Kara shook her head. “None of us did back then.”

Another quiet, yet tearful minute passed by before Kara managed to gather her words again. “I led the rite after her passing… I recited the prayer for the dead for her, so she may complete her journey back to Rao.”

For the first time, Alura smiled - albeit tightly - through the tears. “Then she is at peace.”

“She is,” Kara agreed with a broken, but certain heart.

The mother and daughter embraced once more, lacing their mournful tears together with relief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. So sorry for this super late update. I hope you still follow this work and haven't forgotten all about it! Sorry if this chapter was a little sad...
> 
> I've been holding onto this chapter for a while. I had half of it written and only recently started writing again, but since it was getting too long so I decided to break it into two parts and share this one sooner, so you know that I am still very much in the picture and very interested in finishing this work :)
> 
> All the action and more plot will resume with the next chapter. I will get to writing it as fast as I can. I'm happy to inform you that my writer's block has been finally lifted after finishing my newest work "Forgotten" (which I hope you also like...), so hopefully you won't have to wait for such long stretches of time between each update.
> 
> Take care and cheers

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, let me know by leaving me a kudos or a comment :D


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